Why Jack? Why Gwen?
by Angelwood
Summary: Ianto explodes at Jack after he spends too much time with Gwen and it gets worse from there. Some swearing.Some chapters having warnings at the start. Please read them first. May contain scenes of a sexual nature.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Torchwood characters. **

"**Why Jack? Why Gwen?"**

Ianto was in the achieves where he seemed to spend most of his time nowadays. It was a slow day in Torchwood. Toshiko and Owen were catching up on any outstanding paperwork in a bid to get on top of it and Jack and Gwen had gone out to check up on a few recent visitors but nothing worth really worrying about.

"**Why can't Owen ever put the files in the right place," **Ianto mutters to himself.

He takes out the files, clearly Owens, that had been once again put in the wrong place and Ianto filed them efficiently away in the right place. Ianto was always efficient with everything he did. It was just his way.

"**It can't be that hard to do. Even Gwen can manage it," **Ianto continues to mumble to himself.

Then with the mention of Gwen, his mind starts to wonder away from what he was currently doing.

"**Why does Jack seem to want to spend so much time with Gwen? What is it with her? What could she possibly do for him that I can't? She has Rhys even though he doesn't seem to be enough for her as Owen well knows. She is caring, I know that and so am I. I must have to be to put up with all this. I cater for his every need," **he thinks as he slams another drawer shut and the metallic sounds echo through the damp under belly of the Torchwood hub.

"**Every time I see Jack, he is always with Gwen. He spends so much time with her, out on jobs together, just the two of them. Always laughing and joking about something, never sharing the joke with anyone else, drinking coffee. My coffee. The coffee I make especially for Jack, his favourite. He seems to spend all his day with her and I never get a look in so I wait for the nights and then he is too busy doing the work he should have done during the day. When is it my time?" **Ianto asks himself as he slams the last drawer.

Ianto picks up the files he had gotten out for Jack, what he had gone down there for and he makes the walk through the damp, dark corridors to the main hub area where Toshiko was still sat at her workstation and Owen was still sat in the autopsy room. Ianto walks past Toshiko and stops at the top of the autopsy room.

"**Owen! Do you have a natural inability to put files away where they actually belong or do you just do it to wind me up?" **Ianto asks him throwing Owen the evils.

"**What's wrong with you? Has someone been messing with your coffee machine again or haven't you had any alone time with Jack lately? Release some of that pressure," **Owen asks hitting the nail right on the head not meaning to.

"**Yeh. That's it. Make fun of me. I'm always the butt of everyone's jokes. Keep laughing. One day I won't be here to sort out the files, make coffee, order the takeaways and clean up after you lot. Then what would you do? Do it yourself? I'd like to see that?" **Ianto tells him and Owens face drops at Ianto's explosion and he isn't smiling anymore.

It wasn't very often that Ianto exploded but when he did, he did it big style and the effects of it could be felt for hours, sometimes days later. Ianto storms off to Jack's office, thankful that the door was already open as the mood he was in, he would have slammed it and probably broken it which meant more work for him. He stomps over to the desk and slams the few files he had brought from the archives on top of a pile that was already sat on Jack's desk. Ianto turns and leaves Jack's office, leaving the door open. As he strops through the hub, Toshiko dares to speak to him.

"**Jack just called in. he and Gwen are on their way back and request some coffee to be made. Please don't shot the messenger," **Toshiko forwards just following orders.

Ianto doesn't even look at Tosh as he passes her and makes his way to the kitchenette.

"**Requesting coffee from me after being out with her and then getting Tosh to ask me instead of asking me himself? I'll teach him," **Ianto says out loud not caring who heard him at that point.

Ianto fills the kettle and gets all the cups out for the team and puts them on the tray he usually used. Ianto rummages in the back of a cupboard and finds what he is looking for and he pulls it out. It was a jar of instant coffee that was left in the hub kitchenette and when Ianto arrived, he had put it in the back of the cupboard. Ianto hates instant coffee. He had never had a taste for it and never used it and Jack didn't really like it either. He spoons the instant coffee into the cups, adds sugar and then pours the steaming hot water from the kettle in. He adds milk and stirs the cups.

"**Let's see how you like this Cooper and Harkness," **Ianto angrily laughs to himself as he hides the instant coffee and picks the tray up.

Just as he leaves the kitchenette, the cog door opens and Jack and Gwen walk in laughing about something.

"**Is that coffee I smell Yan?" **Jack asks knowing full well it was. Ianto always made coffee when Jack asked him too. Jack reaches for his coffee cup but Ianto pulls the tray away from him and continues to the sofa area behind the workstations.

"**Why don't you sit down and drink your coffee with the rest of the team sir? You must b**

**e tired after running around all morning with Gwen," **Ianto tells him as he and Gwen sit down and are joined by Tosh and Owen, Ianto resisting the urge to drop the coffee over Jack and Gwen.

Ianto sets the tray down on the low coffee table and steps back as the rest of the team get their cups.

"**Aren't you having one Yan?" **Jack asks him as he picks his cup up.

"**No thank you sir. I have cleaning to do," **Ianto replies with a straight face and he leaves the team to it.

Ianto makes his way to the kitchenette but stays close enough to see what happens next. The team have all gotten their cups and they take their first, cautious sip as the coffee was steaming hot. One by one, the team pull faces at the taste of the coffee until it got to Jack. He spat his mouthful out.

"**Ianto! What the hell is this stuff? It certainly isn't coffee," **Jack bellows but Ianto makes his way over to them at his own pace, making Jack wait.

"**What do you mean Sir? It is coffee. It's instant," **Ianto tells him, half smirking and half still fuming.

"**Since when do we have instant Yan?" **Jack asks putting his coffee cup down.

"**We ran out of the good stuff earlier," **Ianto replies simply standing there, offering nothing other than what he is saying. No emotion.

"**Then why didn't you get some more Yan?" **Jack asks him and then instantly realises that he shouldn't have said that when he sees a flash of anger streak across Ianto's face.

"**I have hardly had the time Sir. I have been collecting files, sorting files that some people insist on putting in the wrong place, like it takes a NASA scientist to work out where they go. Cleaning up after people because god forbid that someone could actually but something in the bin on their own. Calling up for takeaways because someone's finger hurts from clicking onto singles websites and too lazy to press dial. To busy washing, drying and ironing peoples clothes because they never learnt how to do it themselves. Exactly, when would you have liked me to get the coffee sir?" **Ianto asks Jack finally finishing his rant, complaining about almost everyone but the storm cloud was still hanging over his head and was almost ready to burst.

"**Where has all this come from Yan?" **Jack asks not knowing what all this was about.

"**It doesn't matter Sir. I will be fine. I am always fine," **Ianto replies walking away from the team and to the kitchenette so he could sulk in piece.

"**I should have warned you earlier Jack. Ianto has been in a foul mood all day. He had a good at me earlier for putting files in the wrong place and then he went off on one about all he ever does is clean, file, make coffee and get takeaways. He then asked what we would do if he just didn't turn up one day. I have no idea where it came from but he is pissed at someone," **Owen explains.

"**It's not as though he doesn't do all that for us. Anytime I need something, Ianto is always there at hand and he never complains, never asks for anything," **Toshiko replies understanding a little about how he left.

"**I have never looked at it that way. I will have to talk to him when I have some time," **Jack replies, begrudgingly taking another sip of the instant coffee.

"**When was the last time you had time spare never mind for Ianto?" **Tosh asks him, looking down into her cup as though trying to work out what it actually was.

"**And what do you mean by that?" **Jack asks her rather annoyed at the fact that she had dared to challenge him.

"**I was just trying to say that you never seem to have any time for Ianto nowadays. Before, you and Ianto were always sat together, drinking coffee, talking and laughing but now, it seems that you don't ever have time for him. You always seem to be with Gwen," **Tosh further reveals and she can feel eyes focused right at her.

Owen gets up off the sofa's with his coffee in hand and disappears to the autopsy room not wanting to get caught up in whatever was about to go down.

"**What do you mean by that Tosh?" **Gwen asks now getting a little touchy herself.

"**In the last 3 weeks, how much time have you and Ianto had together, alone? Every time he tries to have some time with you, Gwen is always around and I am not saying that it is your fault Gwen. Before you came, Ianto pretty much had Jack to himself but now, he rarely has any time with him and I think that Ianto is finding it hard. I see it in his face though he tries not to let it affect him. He hands you your coffee and tries to talk to you but you then start talking to Gwen, almost pushing him aside. Go and talk to him because I like having Ianto around and I really don't like instant coffee," **Toshiko tells them both before taking her coffee back to her workstation and continuing what she was doing before.

"**Do I really do that Gwen? Do I really shut him out like that?" **Jack asks her as his heart begins to shatter into a million little pieces, knowing that she would tell him the truth.

"**You have been spending rather a lot of time with me lately. I come in, in the morning and Ianto is always pottering around but you can see that his heart isn't in it anymore," **Gwen tells him and that is enough to shatter Jack's heart and Gwen can see it in his face and she puts her hand on his knee.

"**Go and talk to him Jack," **Gwen tells him and then she also gets up and leaves Jack to his thoughts.

Jack sits for a few minutes and thinks about what everyone has said.

"**Do I really push him aside and tread all over his heart when I spend so much time with Gwen? Does he really want to leave Torchwood or does he want to leave me? I don't want him to go. I couldn't bare it if he left me here, left me here alone. My nights are so empty without him and I pray for his warm Welsh smile in the morning with my coffee. Do I really take him for granted and not take into consideration how he feels, using him for my own purposes and discard him when I don't need him? What have I done?" **Jack thinks as he sits there.

Jack almost jumps up from the sofa.

"**Owen, Gwen, Tosh. It's clocking off time and you have 5 minutes to be out of here. If you are here in 5 minutes, you are fired," **Jack bellows across the hub so everyone can hear him.

Owen and Gwen didn't need telling twice and they grab their coats and Gwen gets her bag and they leave through the cog door together. Toshiko shuts her computer down first as she didn't really trust anyone else to do it for her without destroying something. Once her computer has shut down, she grabs her coat and bag and starts to leave the hub's main area. As she walks past Jack, he stops her by putting his hand on her shoulder.

"**Thank you Tosh," **Jack almost whispers into Tosh's ear.

"**Any time," **she replies and leaves through the cog door and then everything is quiet except the noises coming from the kitchenette.

Jack slowly walks to the kitchenette, taking off his coat and hanging it on a banister that he passes. He also removes he Webbly and holster and hangs it on another railing. He makes his way up to the kitchenette where there are various, angry noises emanating from. He quietly goes into the kitchenette where Ianto is stood at the coffee machine, cleaning it vigorously. He stands behind him and then slowly slips his arms around Ianto's waist, meeting in the middle of Ianto's abdomen and Ianto stops cleaning.

"**Why don't you tell me what is wrong and we can take it from there," **Jack whispers into Ianto's ear, Jack's breath tickling Ianto's ear but Ianto resist the urge to laugh or giggle.

"**Why Jack? Why do you spend so much time with Gwen and never have any time for me anymore?" **Ianto asks him in a stern voice but with a slight wobble as the sadness creeps in.

"**I didn't mean to spend so much time with her. She just seems to always be there. We have the nights don't we?" **Jack asks him still whispering in his ear, tightening his grip in Ianto as to stop him from running.

"**But we don't Jack. Not anymore. You are always busy catching up on paperwork that you should have done during the day. During the night, I bring you a coffee and you can't even spare me 2 minutes to ask me if I am ok or even throw me a smile. I feel as though I am the last person in your thoughts and that everyone else comes first," **Ianto tells him, his voice getting shakier by the second as the sadness took over.

"**I don't mean to make you feel like that. I am just under pressure and I don't want you to feel the pressure I am under. I don't want to take it out on you. I care about you too much to take it out on you. You always come first with me. I couldn't do this job without you and I don't mean you doing everything like the coffee. If I am having a bad day, I can always come to you and you will comfort me. When I am being moody, you always tell me to calm down and you bring me back to the ground. Please don't leave Torchwood. Please don't leave me Ianto," **he tells Ianto, a tear running down his cheek, warm and stinging his face.

Ianto turns around to face his lover and he also has a tear running down his face. Ianto puts his arms around his lovers waist and looks sadly into his arms.

"**Sometimes Jack, I don't think you know me at all. I would never leave you unless I had no choice. I will always be here for you, always with a cup of your favourite coffee and a smile on my face and a kind word. I just get a little angry and sad when we don't spend time together. I crave you, your touch, your kiss," **Ianto tells him feeling Jack's grip tighten, pulling him closer to him.

"**Then kiss me Yan. The team has my days but you have my nights and heart,"** Jack tell him and there lips meet in a gentle, soft, emotional kiss in the middle of the kitchenette.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking Away Is Hard To Do.

They spent that night safe and secure in each others arms. Making love all night into the early hours of the morning. Looking longingly into each others eyes and souls. Sharing the gentlest of kisses and touches. Jack finally fell asleep and Ianto watched over him as he slept as it was rare that Jack actually slept. Ianto stroked his leaders soft, smooth back as he watched him breathing.

"Is this really the start of something different for us Jack? Are things really going to be different? Will you been mine like I am yours? Time will tell my love," Ianto tells him softly and Jack just makes a gentle grunting noise as he slept.

Ianto lay next to Jack, putting his arm around him and feel asleep.

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Early the next morning, Ianto walks up and is alone. There was nothing new about that but Ianto lay there, wishing that it was different. That they could wake up together in the morning but he could wish all he wanted to. Ianto got up as usual, got dressed, as usual and left Jack's little hole in the hub that he called a bedroom. The office was empty and dark and there was no sign of Jack. Ianto looked as his watch and saw that it was early enough to go back to his flat, get a shower and clean suit and make it back to the hub before anyone else got there. Ianto left the office and made his way to the cog door but before he opened it, he turned around and looked around, searching for Jack? He didn't know but he left.

Ianto arrived home and as he came through the door, he noticed that he had mail so he took it out of the letter box and looked through the mail as he carried on up the stairs.

"Junk mail, Insurance, Life Insurance, more junk mail and Bank statement. I never get any interesting mail," Ianto says to himself as he reaches his door, getting his key out and unlocking the door.

He walks inside and he bins all the junk mail and puts the bank statement on the side board. Ianto loosens his tie, goes to the kitchen and puts the kettle on. He gets his cup ready with sugar, a tea bag and once the kettle is boiled, he adds it to the cup. Once the tea was ready, he puts it on the coffee table in the lounge and goes and has a shower.

Standing in front of the mirror with just his towel on, he looks at himself. He then turns to the wardrobe next to the mirror and rifles through his suits and pulls one out.

"Now which shirt should I wear and then what tie to go with that?" Ianto says out loud and then realises what he is saying.

"Has my life really gotten that boring. Wondering what shirt and which tie to wear. Have I nothing better to worry about. I really need to get a life," Ianto tells himself and picks out a shirt and tie.

He gets ready and then looks in the mirror again. He straightens out his quickly drying hair and straightens his tie. He makes his way to the lounge and quickly downs the now almost cold tea and takes the cup to the kitchen where he washes it, dries it and puts it away like he always did. Ianto was a neat freak and he knew it. He leaves his flat at the same time as usual and sets off for the hub to another day of work under the rift.

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Ianto gets to the Tourist Information office and unlocks the door and steps inside. All seemed to be quiet as he closed and locked the door behind himself. It was still early as he fumbles for the release button for the secret door. As the door opens, Ianto slips inside and makes his way to the lift and gets in.

"I wonder how Jack will be this morning after last night? Will there be any difference in his attitude towards me? I can't wait to see him," Ianto thinks to himself as he rides the lift to the end of it's journey.

He walks the short distance to the cog door and opens it, stepping inside into a dark, quiet main hub. Ianto looks over to Jack's office but the lights were off and there was no-one there. He was all alone in the hub, as usual. He turned the lights on in the hub and started his morning routine. Starting up the hubs computers and setting them for the day ahead. With that done, he went on with his jobs. He goes into the kitchenette to start making coffee and he finds a note on it so he pulls it off and reads it.

"Ianto,

I had to go out so start without me. The team is due in at the usual time and I shouldn't be long. Jack."

"At least he left me a message this time," Ianto says to himself with a smile and he throws away the note and starts to make the coffee.

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It was now almost lunch and Ianto was starting to get worried as there had been no word from Jack. Ianto was pacing the workstations, driving the rest of the team mad.

"Ianto. Would you please stop pacing. You are making me dizzy," Owen barks and is met with scowl from Ianto.

"He will be fine Ianto. You know what Jack is like. He goes off all the time not telling us what is going on and then he strolls back in as though he had been gone for a minute," Gwen tells him in her gentle way, remembering the conversation from yesterday.

"If he is trouble, which he isn't, I would be the first to know and there is nothing on the computer concerning the rift," Toshiko adds, barely raising her head from the computer.

"

I know he is ok. I just hate it when he goes out for hours on end and doesn't tell anyone where he is going," Ianto tells them as he stops pacing.

"Why don't you go and make some coffee Ianto and then go on the dinner run to take your mind off of Jack?" Owen suggests having an agenda of his own, his rumbling stomach.

"Why don't you go for a change Owen?" Gwen asks him glaring at him.

"I'm trying to do him a favour by taking his mind off of Jack," Owen replies, glaring back.

"I take it you want the usual then?" Ianto asking knowing that that was a stupid question but everyone nods.

Ianto grabs his coat from where it always hung up and headed out of the hub on his almost daily trip to the sandwich shop.

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When he got there, Alison, a friendly, young Welsh girl was stood behind the counter like she usually was.

"Morning Ianto. Let me guess, the usual?" she asks him in her gentle Welsh accent.

"Am I that predictable?" Ianto asks with a smile.

"Predictable but pleasantly so," she tells him with a smile, a smile he was used to but still made him happy when he saw it.

"So Ianto, when are you taking me out on that date?" she asks him as she prepares his sandwich order.

"I would love to take you out but with my job," he starts but she interrupts.

"I know, your job is very strange hours and you could get called away at any time. When are you going to get a regular job with regular hours?" she asks him working away.

"I don't know. I like my job and the boss isn't such a pain in the arse so I count myself lucky I suppose," Ianto tells her as she bags up the sandwiches and hands them over to Ianto.

He hands her a £10 note.

"Keep the change Alison," he tells her with a smile and she smiles back.

"Why thank you sir. You are so generous," she laughs and Ianto laughs, momentarily forgetting all about Jack going A.W.O.L.

Ianto leaves with bag in hand and makes his short journey back to the hub.

"She was right. Why couldn't I get a normal job, with normal hours, doing normal things and with a normal boss? Was Jack the only thing really keeping me at Torchwood? Would it be different if Jack wasn't there?" he though to himself as he walked into the hub.

He walked in and was surprised to see Jack walking around with his head in paperwork.

"Where have you been Jack? I was worried about you," Ianto tells him and he barely batters an eyelid.

"Not here Ianto. In my office in 10 minutes and bring some of that coffee," Jack tells him, walking away and not acknowledging that Ianto had been worried about him.

Ianto dishes out the sandwiches to everyone, Owen fussing as he got Gwen's but Ianto's mind was somewhere else. He then did as he was told and made coffee. He loaded his tray up and took the 4 cups of steaming, strong coffee out to the others and one by one, the team took their coffee's, thanking Ianto but never actually looking at him and then there was one left. Jack's.

He took the cup off of the tray and placed the tray on the coffee table in the sofa area and he took the cup to Jack's office, knocking on the door.

"Enter Ianto," Jack barks from his desk and Ianto walks in.

"Close the door Ianto," he tells him as he shuffles a few papers around so he does and takes the cup to the desk.

"Here you go Jack. Your coffee," Ianto tells him with a smile.

Jack points to a spot on the desk that wasn't cluttered and Ianto puts it down.

"So, did you go anywhere nice this morning?" Ianto asks him innocently but with a degree of curiosity.

"I was some personal business that I had been putting off," Jack simply replies, not really acknowledging that Ianto was there and his smile disappeared.

"Is that all you are going to tell me? Some personal business that you had to take of?" Ianto asks him.

"Personal as in my business and not yours Ianto," Jack snaps banging his fist on the desk, scaring Ianto who jumps back slightly.

"Back to being the dog again am I? You really didn't listen to me last night did you? What else did I expect. I was asked today why I didn't have a normal job and do you know what I said?" Ianto asks him.

"I haven't really got time for this Ianto," he replies.

"Make time Jack. I told them that I enjoyed my job but thinking now, who am I trying to kid. I am the dogs body and I know that I told you I would do anything but for years now, I have been cleaning up your shit and getting no thanks so I tell you what, do your own coffee, filling, cleaning and everything else I do and see how you like it because I have had enough. I resign," Ianto snaps back and he heads for the door, opening it.

"Ianto. Wait," Jack shouts, his tone less harsh now as he stands up behind his desk.

"No Jack. Enough is enough. I'm tired of being kick around, used, abused and what for? The rear treat of spending a few hours with you. It isn't worth it, not by far," he tells a stunned jack as he walks through the door.

"Ianto. I didn't mean to snap at you," Jack almost begs as he follows him out.

"You never do Jack but you still keep doing it though don't you? You can't admit how you feel about me until we are alone," Ianto barks, not looking at him but he feels Jack getting close and then putting his hand on Ianto's shoulder.

"I do love you in my own way," Jack tells him and Ianto shrugs his hand off.

"To little, way too late Jack. You treat me more like a dog than a lover or equal and this dog has had enough so I resign as from now. Don't call me, don't visit me, don't do anything because I've had enough," Ianto tells him and walks away from Jack.

"Ianto. Don't do this. Don't do this because I am a bad tempered idiot. Torchwood can't work without you. I can't be without you," Jack tells him, close to tears but holding them in with everything he had.

"Words Jack. They are just words. The words I have heard a thousand times before and each time the same thing. I can't do it anymore. This dog is tired of being kicked and is making a break for it before he is destroyed. Leave me alone Jack. Just let me go," Ianto tells him, grabbing his coat, forcing back the tears.

Ianto turns to the team, their faces struck with horror at what they had just witnessed, Gwen almost in tears, feeling responsible but not totally.

"Are you just going to stand there Jack and let him walk away?" Gwen asks him, glaring it him.

"There is nothing he can say for me to stay Gwen. I've run out of fight and I just can't take it anymore. Giving my love everyday and getting nothing back. I will see you around though," Ianto tells them with a smile they knew was fake and pain filled.

Ianto had a last look around, breathes in the hub air one last time and then left through the cog door. He made his way up to the Tourist Information office and collected a few things. Some photo's of the team and Jack, his own things that he brought from him and he put them in a little box. He looked around and the memories of the past flooded his mind and heart. The first time Gwen walked through the door with a pizza in her hand, when an infected Cherys stood holding the Doctors hand in a jar, threatening to drop it if she wasn't released, when Jack told him Ianto he had to go and kill Lisa or he would.

Those were some of the memories, some good and some bad but that was Torchwood. Ianto grabbed his box and left the office and as expected, no grand gesture from Jack begging him to stay but did he really expect Jack to do that? No. Not really. Ianto walked to the door and turned the sign over to closed. The last time he would ever do that. It felt strange. Still, he had to walk away, for his own sake. Time away from Jack would clear his mind. Ianto locked the door behind him as he left and he posted his keys and Torchwood ID through the letter box.

It was really over. He was no longer a member of Torchwood. He held onto the memories as he knew, he wouldn't have them long. Jack would get him eventually and then he would forget all about Torchwood, Owen, Tosh, Gwen, Lisa and everything else he had held so dear but the time had come. Ianto looked back at the hub as he walked away, taking one last look as he would soon forget. Torchwood.


	3. Chapter 3

Another Day Without Torchwood.

Two weeks after leaving Torchwood, Ianto went to work in his new job. He walked to the door of the shop and knocked on the window of the door. A young Welsh girl came to the door with a smile and opened the door. Ianto stepped in and she closed the door behind him.

"Morning Ianto. I have started on the pre-orders already," she tells him as they both disappear behind the counter.

"Morning Alison. What do you need doing then?" he asks her, hanging his coat behind the door to the back room.

"If you could wash down the cabinets and start laying out the cakes, I would appreciate it," she tells him with her gentle, soft Welsh accent and a smile.

He smiled at her and then got the cleaning things out. He had been there nearly two weeks now and he loved coming in every morning. The sandwich shop was run by a local family who had been here for years with their regulars. The father, Thomas, baked all the bread for the shop in the back so they always had the smell of fresh bread in the shop. The family consisted of father Thomas, mother Mary, daughter Alison and daughter Kate though Kate was still at school and only popped in for dinner but Ianto liked her. Alison had always had a glint in her eye for Ianto while he worked at Torchwood but the glint was stronger now they worked together and Ianto knew it.

They went about their jobs and then when they opened, the regulars flooded in, most of them pensioners who got the same thing every day. Ianto knew what they wanted so as soon as he saw them coming in, he was getting what they wanted and all the old dears had taken a shine to him. You got all different people in the shop, all wanting different things but since he had been there, he hadn't seen any of the people he wanted to see most. Torchwood.

And then it happened. Ianto had his head buried in washing when the door bell chimed just after 12. Alison had gone for dinner with her family so Ianto was alone in the shop. He took his hands out of the soapy hot water and dried them on two paper towels and throw them in the bin and turned around and he was stood at the counter.

"Owen. What are you doing here?" he asked him, scanning Owen from head to toe, noting that he looked like he had aged somewhat in the two weeks since he left.

"Ianto. I've been sent to get lunch. We tried a few other places but none were as good as here so we are back even though Jack isn't keen," Owen tells him.

"I wondered why you hadn't been in before. Might have known it was Jack. What can I get you?" he asks him, not wanting to continue this conversation.

"Can you knock up some of our usuals please Ianto? We are all starving over there," Owen asks him meaning the hub.

"No problems," Ianto tells him and moves over to the clean sandwich preparation area and he sets about, making the sandwiches.

"Does Jack want anything?" Ianto asks wondering if he was going to be petty.

"Apart from you back, no, he doesn't want anything. He hasn't wanted anything lately," Owen tells him, trying to put him on a guilt trip.

"He had me Owen. He let me walk away. He was the reason I stayed in the first place and then he became the reason why I left in the end. He has no-one else to blame but himself. Can I get you anything else Sir?" Ianto asks him, changing his approach.

"Is everything alright here Ianto?" Alison asks him appearing from the back room.

"Everything is fine Alison. Just serving this customer," Ianto replies.

"That's nice. I'm a simple customer now Ianto. After all we've been through at work," Owen tells him taking the bag with the sandwiches in and giving the money to Ianto, annpyed about the customer comment.

"Keep the change Ianto. See you around yeh," Owen tells him and leaves.

Ianto watches him leave and knows that he wanted to ask Owen more. What had they been doing? What new creatures had they come across? So many questions but that wasn't his business anymore.

"Are you still up for going out tonight?" Alison asks him, reminding him that they were meant to be going out but Ianto didn't look to keen now.

"Yes. Meet you there?" Ianto replies, loosing some of his gentlemanly charm, his mind on other things.

They carried on working together for the rest of the day and once the shop was closed and everything was cleaned up, Ianto had his way home.

********************

Ianto slumped on his sofa, tired from work but as much body tired as his mind being tired. Since Owen had walked in the shop, Ianto had been thinking. Thinking about Torchwood, thinking about the gang, thinking about Jack. He had tried over the last two weeks to forget back Jack and he knew that he wouldn't ever forget about Jack, he was too bigger part in his life but since working in the shop, he hadn't thought about him as much during the day until Owen walked in. Now he couldn't get Jack out of his head, try as he might.

He wasn't really up for going out with Alison but he was a gentleman and when he said he was going to do something, he did it no mater what. He pulled his tired self off of the sofa and went and made a cup of tea in the kitchen. When it was made, he took it to the front window of his flat that over looked the street in front of his flat. He blow the hot tea and then took a sip. He remembered that he once tried to convert Jack to tea but he wasn't having any of it and he smiled to himself.

As he looked out of the window, watching people coming back from work, rushing along the pavement, his attention was drawn to a shadow being cast on the other side of the road. "Could it be? Was it really him? What was he doing there?" Ianto asked himself as he looked closer. It was Captain Jack Harkness and he had his stare fixed on Ianto's flat from across the street. Their gazes meet across the road and they couldn't take their eyes off of each other but Ianto knew he had to.

He looked down into his cup and then looked up at Jack again and he was still there so Ianto walked away form the window, his heart breaking as he did. It hurt him to walk away from Jack, even though he had done it once before and it wasn't any easier on him this time. He walked to his bedroom and sat on his bed. He knew he would be meeting Alison but could he really do that? Could he do it to her? Could he do it to himself? Ianto didn't see it as a date but he was sure that Alison did.

He drank a little more of his tea and then he got up again and walked over to his wardrobe. If he was going to meet Alison, he wouldn't be able to meet her in what he was wearing. He opened his wardrobe and looked at what he could wear. Like most of his life, it was sorted into categories. His suits were first and then his smart/casual wear and as Ianto passed his suits, the suits he wore to Torchwood, he ran his finger across the shoulder of each, capturing a memory from each suit. Something particular that had happened in that suit. The day Lisa was found in the basement, his and Jack's first kiss. Each memory both painful and beautiful.

He picked out what he was going to wear, black pants, smart shirt and he hung them on the front of the wardrobe, closing the doors and hiding away the suits he could bare to see anymore. Maybe one day, he would put them away but he wasn't ready yet, not yet. It was too soon. Ianto finished his tea and put his cup in the kitchen sink on the way to the bathroom and he got a shower. The sandwich shop left a different smell on him, different from Torchwood. Once out, he brushed his teeth, gelled his hair and made sure that his face was nice and smooth. Wrapped in his towel, he went back into his room and got ready.

Ianto stood in front of the mirror and checked himself over. His clothes were clean and pressed, his hair was neat and tidy but there was something missing. No matter how hard he looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't see what he was missing and quit in the end, making his way to the door of his flat. He hurried down the stairs, time starting to catch up with him which was very unusual for him. Everything was telling him that he shouldn't be going to meet Alison but he carried on regardless and then it happened.

As Ianto stepped out of the flat, he looked across the road where he had seen Jack standing before and Jack was stood there. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments and then a transit van passed and Jack had gone. Had he really been there or was it all in Ianto's mind? Had he seen him because he was the one person he wanted to see more than any other. Ianto didn't know, all he knew was that he wasn't there anymore and he was running late.

********************

Ianto eventually arrived outside the restaurant with a few minutes to spare and he looked around. Thank god that Alison wasn't there yet and he had time to get himself together before she arrived. Bang on 7 o'clock and Alison arrived outside the restaurant in a cab. As she got out, her dress blow in the summer breeze, warm but only just. She mounted the pavement and Ianto joined her.

"Good evening Alison. May I say how beautiful you are looking tonight," Ianto tells her, pulling out all the charm he could though it wasn't heart felt.

She did look beautiful but not the kind of beautiful that Jack was. It wasn't her fault and he knew it and he decided there and then that no matter how he wanted it, Jack would not creep his way into their night and his focus would be on her.

"Good evening Ianto and may I say that you look rather handsome tonight," she tells him, that glint in her eye again and stronger than ever.

Ianto know that glint she had in her eye. He had it some many times before looking at Jack. When he was working, when they were in bed together, every time he looked at him. That glint was a painful reminder of Jack and he couldn't look her in the eye.

"Shall we eat outside as it is such a beautiful night?" Ianto asks her, having an agenda of his own, not wanting to be trapped inside.

"On such a beautiful night, why not," she replied, the breeze moving her hair slightly.

They went inside and Ianto told the Garson that they would be taking a table outside and then Ianto lead Alison to a table, pulling her chair out for her and then sliding it under her as she sat down. They made conversation as they waited for the waiter to take their order. Since Ianto had left Torchwood, he hadn't been much of an eater, not that he was before so he didn't order a starter and went straight for the main course and Alison followed his lead.

"You don't eat much do you? You always cover our dinner breaks and you never leave work to eat and you don't eat in work," Alison mentions to Ianto and he sighs.

"I was never much of an eater. I only ever really got food for the others at work unless it was Chinese night. I am partial of a bit of Chinese," Ianto confesses to her, having no idea why he did. Another memory from Torchwood.

The waiter came back with their drinks, red wine for both and they talked a little as they waited for the waiter to come back with his food which he soon did to Ianto's relief. They spoke a little while they ate and then Ianto spotted a familiar figure across the road, at the mouth of an alleyway. This time, he knew that it was Jack, his long coat blow in the breeze, flapping against his leg.

"What is he doing here?" Ianto said out loud not meaning to.

"Who?" Alison asks looking around but Jack was behind her so she didn't see him.

"My old boss. He is stood across the road," Ianto tells her, taking another fork full of food and looking at Jack who he hadn't moved.

"What does he want?" Alison asks him looking him dead in the eyes.

"I don't know but I'm not letting him ruin our night," Ianto tells her and they continue to talk and eat, Ianto occasionally looking in Jack's way.

They finished their food and Ianto was well aware of the fact that Jack was still there, still watching them and he it was driving him crazy. "What did he want? Why was he there?" All these questions running through his head and he needed them out. He had to talk to Jack no matter how desperately he didn't want to.

He flagged down a cab and when it arrive, he opened the door and Alison got in.

"Will you be alright going home on your own, I'll pay for the cab?" Ianto asks her, knowing that that wasn't nice of him but he needed to talk to Jack, get answers as to why he was following him.

"He is really getting to you isn't he?" Alison asks him from the back of the cab.

"He has been following me all day but never approached me and I want to know what he wants, why he is following me," Ianto tells her with a very sorrowful look on his face.

She gets up off of the back seat of the cab and comes to the door. She puts her hand on the side of Ianto's face and she kisses him on the other cheek.

"You go and do what you need to do. I will be fine getting home and I will see you at work in the morning," she tells him sitting down on the back seat again.

"Thank you Alison and sorry that our night had to end like this but I will make it up to you, I promise," he tells her and he closes the door.

He watches as she leaves in the cab, looking at him from the back window and he waved a feeble wave to her and she simply smiled. She knew his heart wasn't in this date and it was better ending this way before she embarrassed herself by kissing him.

Once the cab was out of his sight, he turned to Jack just in time to see him turn away and leave down the alleyway. Ianto ran across the road, only just missing being hit by a car and he reached the top of the alleyway. Jack was about half way down.

"Don't you dare walk away from me. You have been following me all day and now that you have my attention, you walk away. I don't think so. Stop god damn you Jack Harkness," Ianto shouts down the alleyway and he stops dead in his tracks.


	4. Chapter 4

It's My Turn Now.

Jack turned slowly to face Ianto.

"Why the hell have you been following me Jack? What is it that you want from me?" Ianto asks him, stepping towards him slowly, the dim light reflecting on his face.

Jack looked tired, worn out and sad.

"I don't know what to say Ianto. I just needed to see you. I have wanted to see you for days now but never had the courage to see you," Jack tells him, his hands stuffed in his trouser pockets like he usually did.

"Courage. You have all the courage in the world Jack, just not when it counts, when it really matters. I gave you that chance too many times Jack and you wasted those chances and now, now it's too late. Stop following me. Stop standing outside my flat. Just leave me alone," Ianto tells him, trying his hardest not to cry.

Ianto turned around and began to leave the alleyway until Jack spoke again.

"Ianto. Don't leave, not like this, not angry at me. I couldn't bare it if you were angry at me. We need you, I need you. I can't cope with all the shit on my own. I need you beside me, with me," Jack tells him and Ianto stops.

He takes a second, anger rearing it's head in his heart. Finally, he had gotten it but now, now it was too late. Ianto had made the break from him and he wasn't going back to being the dog again, always being kicked, taken for granted. Not this time.

"They always say, you don't know what you've got until it is gone. Deal with it Jack. Everyone else has to. Just because you are immortal, doesn't mean that the rules don't apply to you. All you had to do is spare me a little thought and you just couldn't do it. As always, the fate of the world took up your every thought and there was no room left for me," Ianto tells him turning around.

"You don't know hard it is being Captain Jack Harkness. Knowing the things I know, feeling the things I feel. I always have a thought for you and you don't know what thoughts I have. I think about when I am going to lose you, for good, when I am going to lose all of you. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and my shoulders alone," Jack tells him and then he realises what he said.

"What a cop out Jack. You aren't alone and you know it. You have us, had us. You have Owen, Gwen and Tosh and you had me. We helped you through every mission, every fight, even when you weren't there. You kick us all but me, you seemed to kick the hardest and that wasn't fair. You think that a little charm, a little flattery, those rugged good looks and that little lost puppy look is going to make me want to come back, think again Jack. It might of worked once but I have another life now," Ianto tells him, his heart breaking right in front of Jack.

"I know you have another life Yan, I have seen. She's pretty," Jack tells him looking at the ground, jealousy in his voice.

"She isn't you Jack. Don't you get it? She is never and will never be you. I just don't feel about her like I feel, felt about you. Are you so blind you just can't see? I would have given my life for you, my soul for you and I gave my heart to you but no more Jack. My heart is tired and I need to repair it, away from you, away from Torchwood. Just get someone in to replace me and get over me," Ianto tells him, tears streaming down his face.

"I wish it were that easy, god I wish it was. Since you left, all I have done is think about you, run through our conversations and our actions and yes Yan, I know it was my fault. I kick myself every day for what I did to you, put you through. I know I asked a lot from you and never gave enough back and that's all on me," Jack tells him, tears now streaming down his face too.

They took a second, wiping their faces, neither of them wanting the other to know how much they were hurting, especially Jack. He was suppose to be the fearless leader, a man of steal but his feelings for Yan were more than he thought they were.

"You think that telling me now, what I wanted to hear back then is going to change my mind? You missed the chance Jack. The time has gone. I am trying to move on with my life and so should you be. You have very important work to do, I know but you can't keep thinking about what you should have said, should have done. It will drive you mad and the team need you to lead them," Ianto tells him, taking a deep breath in, trying to resist the urge to kiss Jack and make things better.

"I know the team need me but I need you and so do they. Please don't turn your back on me," Jack tells him, stepping closer to Ianto.

"Why do you all need me? Because no-one can make coffee like I can? No-one can order takeaways like I can? Or is it that no-one rolls over like I did? Tell me Jack. Why do you all need me so much?" Ianto replies, the anger rising up inside him again.

"It's not like that Ianto. You are much more than that to all of us. Your always the one who makes sure that we are ready and prepared. If we forget something, we know that you haven't. You think of everything. When we have been running around all day and haven't had chance to eat, you always make sure that we eat. You take care of everything in that hub. You keep the archives straight and you make sure that everything is in the right place so that we all can find it when we need it. You look after all the plants in the botanical and you are the only one who knows what plant needs what. Without you Ianto, Torchwood doesn't function the way it should, the way it used to," Jack tells him, now face to face with Ianto.

"So what Jack? I'm a glorified janitor? Taking care of the team, the plants, the files. So far Jack, I haven't heard anything about why you need me?" he asks him.

Jack puts his hand on the side of Ianto's face but Ianto looks away but Jack makes him look at him again.

"I need you Ianto more than anyone else needs you. When I am running around like a headless chicken, you bring me a coffee and force me to stop and take a minute. When I am in a flap because I can't find something because I have put it away in the wrong please, you use your logic and find it for me and tell me to stop flapping. When we are on alert, you always make sure that I have everything I need. When I need a comforting word or hug, you are always there to give them to me. You are the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning and I wouldn't have it any other way. You do everything for me, you are everything to me," Jack tells him while looking Ianto in the eyes.

Ianto couldn't help it. The urge to kiss him was over whelming and he knew that Jack wanted nothing more. He had missed Jack so much but had spent so much time being angry with him. Jack lent in and Ianto closed his eyes. He felt Jack's soft, full lips on his and it felt so good, so missed. He felt Jack's arm around his waist and pull him close. Though he resisted the urge to hold him back, he couldn't. It felt so natural, so normal, so Jack. He slide his arms around Jack's waist and pulled him close, so close.

Ianto didn't want to kiss him, didn't want to hold him, didn't want to care but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop holding him, couldn't stop kissing him and couldn't stop caring about him. He had loved him for so long and even though he was angry with him, it was Jack, the love of his life. The passion between them was rising by the second and they both knew what was coming. They had spent 2 weeks away from each other and in all that time, they had wanted nothing more than to be with each other.

"Not here Jack. Not in an alleyway," Ianto whispers in his ear between deep, passionate kisses.

"Yours?" Jack whispers, barely able to breath, their kisses so hard.

"The Hub," Ianto replies, taking a second to get his breath back.

"Ok," Jack replies, taking his lips away from Ianto's for the smallest of seconds to answer him.

They stood there together for a few more minutes, running their fingers through each others hair, kissing each others lips and necks, gently biting each others necks as the passion grow immensely between them. Ianto eventually stepped away from Jack knowing that if he didn't, the passion and emotion between them would grow so much that it would be in the alleyway. Jack looks at Ianto and the young Welshman simply smiled back, their smiles saying everything that they needed to say at that point.

They made their way quickly to the SUV that was parked near by. Jack had used it to follow Ianto that night. As soon as they were both in the SUV, Jack took off at huge speed and made it back to the hub in record time. They couldn't keep their hands or kisses off of each other as they made their way into the hub and into the office. They made love all over the office and then in Jack's little hole he called a bedroom and Jack eventually fell asleep in Ianto's arms.

Jack awakes the next morning and he is alone in the dark of his room, no sound, no light, nothing. Jack gets out of bed and climbs his ladder to his office. Still no light, no sound, nothing. He fumbles for the lamp switch, turns it on and sees it. A letter in the middle of his desk with his name on. Captain Jack Harkness.


	5. Chapter 5

The Letter Says Everything.

Jack sat at his desk, barely dressed, just his boxer shorts and he picked up the letter. He knew the handwriting, he should do, he had seen it for the past couple of years. It was Ianto's writing but why was he writing him a letter and why was it addressed to Captain Jack Harkness. He opened the envelope carefully and not in his usual fashion of ripping it open. He lent back in his chair and started to read the letter.

"Dear Jack,

This is the only way I can think of to tell you how I truly feel, sat at your desk as you sleep peacefully, writing by the lamp on your desk. Every time I try and tell you how I feel, you turn things around so that they are about you and it isn't Jack, it's about me, Ianto Jones.

How did you feel this morning when you woke up and found that I had gone? Did you feel used? Did you feel cheated or did you feel nothing? Now you know how I feel every time I spend the night with you, making love and falling asleep in your arms just to wake up in the morning to find you gone. To find myself alone in the dark. If you feel used, you now know how it feels for me, waking up and finding you gone after we had spent the night together, giving you what you wanted, what we both wanted and then you couldn't even wait until the morning, until I woke up before you leave.

Should you feel ashamed, you feel how I felt so many times. Falling for that Jack Harkness smile, falling for the Harkness charm even after telling myself that I wouldn't. I wouldn't give in to you again but folding every time. Do you feel hurt, hurt at the thought that you have been used for my sexual gratification? Now you know how I felt all those times when you took what you wanted, what you needed from me and gave me nothing in return. Do you feel disrespected? No Jack. You don't feel any of those as you are the fearless, immortal, ice hearted leader. The leader who can't show his feelings as you think it makes you look weak.

It isn't that you are weak for showing your feelings, you are weak for not showing your feelings, showing people that yes, you might be immortal but your are still human but I guess, that is something you have lost over the years and something you found in Gwen. I never push you to tell me how you feel but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know. You know how I feel about you, I have told you often enough but I never know where I stand with you.

You say the words you think I want to hear but they are hollow, there is nothing behind them. Just a ploy to keep me sweet for the next time you want something from me. That isn't enough Jack. Everyday I come into work and a little bit of me dies. I see the way you are with Gwen and when she isn't around, you ache for her but you don't ache for me. I ache for you with every beat of my broken heart but you just don't see it. I even suspect that you don't know that you are doing it, pinning over Gwen which makes it all the worse because it comes from deep within your heart.

I really don't know what else I can do to make you love me like I love you. I have given you so much but gotten nothing back. I gave you my life and you use it. I gave you my heart and you destroyed it. I gave you my soul and you wiped your boots on it. What else can I do Jack? What else can I do to make you love me? If you don't get it by now, you never will and that will have proved that I have done the right thing, walking away from Torchwood, walking from you Jack.

There is nothing else I can give as you have taken it all and discarded it with too greater ease. There is nothing left for me to fight for and that is why I wrote this letter, my final goodbye. I love you Jack Harkness, everything about you but I have to save myself before you destroy me. My heart has been destroyed already Jack, don't destroy the rest of me. With this last word, I set you free. Love another, someone who you see as an equal, a lover, a friend, a companion, someone you can share your life with.

With all the love I have and more and tears from my dying soul,

Ianto Jones."

Jack put down the letter, tears streaming down his face, eyes blood shot from all the tears. He leans back in the chair leaving the letter on the desk and he looks at Ianto's cup he had placed on his desk, waiting for the day that Ianto came back to Torchwood, to him. Jack had taken it from the kitchenette the day he left and put it on his desk so that no-one, no-one but Ianto could use it. He didn't want the others touching it.

He pulled his knees up to his chest, his bare feet on the rim of the chair and he put his head on his knees. He started to sob, looking at the letter knowing that that was Ianto's final goodbye and that he had lost him through his own stupidity.

"How stupid could I be and now I am paying the price. Ianto, oh Ianto, the man I loved his left and it is all my fault," Jack cries out, his heart breaking and his soul dying as he sits alone in the vast, dark hub.


	6. Chapter 6

The Day After The Night Before.

Ianto woke up the next morning in his bed, not having slept much after what he had done the night before. He thinks about what had happened. About the alleyway, about the hub, about Jack and the letter he had left for Jack. "Had Jack read the letter? How did it make Jack feel? Was he really that bothered about Ianto's feelings and thoughts or did Jack just see it is just another Ianto Jones rant? Did he think that last night would mean Ianto would come back to him, to Torchwood?"

Ianto turned over and looked out of the window, dawn had long arrived and the morning was in full swing. Sun shinning, birds tweeting, people chatting but Ianto wasn't interested. He had other things on his mind. "Had he stepped over the line? He had become just like Jack? Kicking him?" Ianto lifted his weary head off of his pillow and then dragged his bruised and tired body out of his bed, bruised form the rough and passionate sex with Jack in the office.

He dragged himself to the lounge and through to the kitchen where he turned the kettle on and made a cup of tea. He took it into the lounge and put the news on the TV. Nothing much had changed in the news over the past couple of days. It was the same celebrities, the same politicians and all the same wars. Ianto had no interest in the news anymore now that he wasn't with Torchwood and hardly ever put it on. He finishes his tea and turns the TV off opting to put the radio on instead and as the tunes of the morning fill Ianto's flat, he puts his cup in the sink and gets a shower.

Ianto was on auto pilot as got dressed for another day of work at the sandwich shop. His mind was else where, far away. He was feeling bad for what he had done but he knew that he didn't have a choice. Jack hadn't listened before and this was the only way he could make him see what he had done. Ianto's heart was broken, it was past the stage of breaking. He had finally taken the steps to end everything with Jack and if he was the decent person that Ianto hoped he was, he would leave it at that.

Ianto left his flat, made the 20 minute trip to the sandwich shop and knocked on the door when he arrived there. Alison came to the door and even after he had let her come home on her own, she still had a smile for him as she opened the door for him.

"Morning Ianto," she tells him and then closes the door as it was early yet.

"Morning Alison. I have to explain about last night," Ianto starts and she puts her hand up and he stops.

"It's ok Ianto. There is no need to explain. You had to go and sort something out. I understand," she tells him as she disappears behind the counter.

"No, really. I need to explain. I should have made sure that you got home alright last night and then dealt with him and what I did was wrong. He was my previous boss. He had been following me yesterday and I needed to know why," Ianto tells her hanging his coat up as he usually did.

"Did you get answers off of him?" she asks him as she carries on with the orders that they needed doing before opening.

"I did. He wanted me to come back to work for him. He said that they couldn't cope without me," Ianto tells her knowing that he wasn't telling her the whole truth, that he was also his former lover.

"Does that mean that we are losing you?" she asks Ianto, stopping what she is doing for the moment and looks up at him as Ianto was quite a bit taller than her.

"I'm not going anywhere Alison. I am happy here," Ianto tells her knowing that that wasn't strictly true either.

"I'm relieved. I thought we were going to lose you there for a minute. What did you do at your last job?" Alison asks him aware of the fact that Ianto never talked about it.

"I was a glorified tea boy, janitor and dogs body," he tells her wiping down the cabinet like he did every morning.

"And you gave that up to be my dad's dogs body instead," Alison laughed and for the first time in 2 days, Ianto actually laughed.

"Trust me, your dad isn't half the slave driver he was," Ianto replies, still smiling.

"What was that about slave drivers?" Thomas asks sticking his head out of the back room door.

"Nothing dad. You go back to baking and leave Ianto and I to the serious job of selling your baking," Alison laughs at the fact that her father had caught the last part of the conversation.

Alison and Ianto carried on like they did nearly every day. Serving sandwiches, cakes, having the occasional laugh, drinking tea which Ianto insisted on making and anything they usually did together. Once again, Kate came in on her lunch hour from school which indicated it was time for Alison to return to the back room for the daily family lunch and it was time for Ianto to be alone in the shop to serve.

********************

He was just restocking some cakes that had been popular today when the door opened and the bell rang. He put the tray behind him and looked up to find the third familiar face in two days.

"Hello Ianto," she says to him with the same Welsh accent as his own.

"Good Morning. What can I get you?" Ianto asks her, treating her like every other customer.

"What? No Hello Gwen? Have you forgotten our names already?" she asks him and he kept a straight face.

"Good morning Gwen. What can I get you?" he asks her again, using her name this time.

"I have a letter for you. It's from Jack so don't shoot the messenger," she tells him sliding the letter over the top of the counter.

"I don't want it so you can take it back," Ianto tells her, pushing the letter back over to her.

Deep inside, he knew that he wanted to read it even just to see if Jack apologised for anything but he knew, if he read it, Jack had him right where he wanted him. Thinking about him again.

"I really think you should read it. Whatever has happened between you both, you need to sort it out and for some reason, Jack has been all over the place so please Ianto, just read it," she tells him sliding it back in his direction.

Ianto turns around, closes the door to the back room so none of the family would here and then turns back to Gwen.

"I said I didn't want it Gwen so take it back with this message. I'm not interested. Jack, Torchwood and I are through so go back to Jack, give him the message and the letter. Go comfort him, give him your bleeding heart crap because it isn't welcome here. He is all yours, take him and be happy, now leave Gwen before I do something I regret," Ianto tells her leaving her in no doubt that he was being serious.

She picks up the letter, slides it into her pocket and looks at Ianto as if to ask, "What has happened to you Ianto." She turns away from him and leaves the shop, briefly looking back, his expression hadn't changed. She walked away from the shop and Ianto breathed a sigh of almost relief.

"Why did he send the letter with her of all people? He has replaced me quick enough as his companion. That's probably what the letter said. Don't come back, you've been replaced," Ianto thought to himself.

********************

Later on that same day, Ianto was out the back doing something for Thomas and Alison was front of shop when the shop door opened and a flower delivery man walked into the shop holding a huge bunch of flowers. He walks up to the counter, barely able to see past them with his clip board in his hand.

"Does an Ianto Jones work here?" he asks Alison as her face dropped when she figured out that they weren't for her.

"He's busy. Can I help you?" she asks him and he puts the clip board down on the counter.

"Can you sign for these please?" he asks her, a pen immerging from the flowers.

Alison signs her name and then the clip board and pen vanish behind the flowers and the flowers passed to her over the counter.

"Have a nice day Miss," the delivery guy tells her and leaves the shop.

Alison smells the beautiful and expensive flowers and then takes them to the door to the back room.

"Ianto. You have a delivery," Alison shouts to him and she puts the flowers on the side out of the way.

Ianto makes his way out of the back and as he reaches Alison, she looks over to the flowers and Ianto follows her look. He walks over to the flowers, not sure what to think and he looks through them for the card and then he finds it. He pulls it off of it's little stand and looks at it and as soon as he sees the message, he picks the flowers up, returns the card, takes them through the back into the alleyway behind the shop, finds the nearest bin and throws them in. He walks back inside and back to the front of the shop where Alison throws him a look that says, "What was that all about?" and he throws her one back saying, "Don't ask."

A little while later while Ianto was busy with a customer, Alison sneaks through the shop and out to the alleyway and searches the bins for the flowers. Luckily, the bin collectors weren't due until the morning so the flowers were at the top of the pile. She picks the flowers up, rifles through them to find the card and then pulls it out, replacing the flowers in the bin. Curiosity had gotten the better of her and she wanted to know what had caused Ianto to react like that.

She opened the card and read the message inside. "Ianto. I love you. You're the only one for me. Love you always. Jack." she slipped it into her pocket and went back inside.

********************

During the last of the tea breaks for that day, Ianto and Alison sat behind the counter, sipping on the tea Ianto had made. She goes into her pocket and produces the card from the flowers and shows it to Ianto.

"He was more than your boss wasn't he?" Alison asks him as he takes the card from her.

"He was. He was the man I loved," Ianto tells her, pain and sadness flooding his heart and showing in his face.

"You didn't want it to be over did you?" Alison asks him and Ianto looks at her with surprise.

"It's a woman thing. We know these things," Alison smiles at him knowing that Ianto was heart broken.

"I had to do it. I had to end it. I wanted more from him than he was willing to give and now, he wants me back and I am trying to move on and he won't let me," Ianto tells her throwing the card in the bin.

"Have you told him now you feel?" Alison asks him.

"I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt because he has a knack of turning everything around his way. With the letter, the worst he could was throw the letter away," Ianto tells her, a single tear running down his face.

Alison moves her chair over to Ianto's and she puts her arm around him as he unravels in front of her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

This one is just a short one. I will be returning to larger ones, I promise.

Breaking Up Is Always Hard.

Ianto arrived back home and slumped on his sofa. He was physically exhausted but mostly emotional exhausted. He couldn't be bothered to move, his legs wouldn't allow it. He had fallen apart in front of Alison at work and he felt so ashamed. He hadn't done that in a long time, other than in front of Jack. How had Jack gotten to him so much that he had lost control in front of an almost stranger and cried like a baby and why?

Because Jack had sent him a letter he had refused to read or because he had sent him a huge bunch of flowers? Should he have taken the time to read the letter at least before rejecting it? Should I have kept the flowers until they died at least before I throw them away? Would they remind him too much of Jack and what he meant to me? Too many questions and not enough answers. His head hurt almost as much as his heart did but he had to do it. He had to walk away for his own sake, to stop any future heartache he would surely suffer.

He curled up on the sofa, laying there and staring into space. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to think, he just wanted to be alone and then it began. His pocket of his coat started to vibrate and then the tune came, a familiar tune. Ianto knew who it was without even looking at it as he had given this particular ring tone to only one person, Jack.

Ianto ignored it and hoped and pleaded that it would soon stop and go away and soon it did. The tone stopped and the vibrating stopped and his mobile went quiet again. Ianto went back to staring into space but the piece didn't last long. Again the mobile vibrated in his pocket and again the tone came back. Ianto took his phone and put it in the side board draw, hoping that this would quieten the mobile but as he sat back down on the sofa, he could still hear it, vibrating and chiming away.

Ianto got up from the sofa and went into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and the silence was restored. Ianto curled up on his bed, on top of the duvet and closed his eyes. He was so tired. He wanted to fall asleep but he knew that if he did, he would dream of Jack. Jack was ever present in his mind, while he was asleep and while he was awake. No matter how he tried, he couldn't get Jack out of his head and he really wanted him out.

*********************

An hour or so later, when Ianto had almost fallen asleep, the door buzzer went. Ianto sat up with a start and waited for a second. The buzzer went again and Ianto had no idea as to who would be calling at his flat at this time. Ianto got out of bed and went to the window that looked out onto the street and he saw it. The sleek black paint work, the blue neon in the front windows, the name stencilled into the bodywork and roof. Torchwood.

As he looked at the SUV parked in front of his house, the buzzer stopped ringing and Jack stepped back onto the pavement. Ianto darted backwards from the window so Jack didn't see him and he went into the lounge. His door buzzer began buzzing again and then his mobile started librating and ringing again. This was too much for Ianto to handle. "Why was Jack doing this? Was it his revenge for Ianto walking away? Was this him getting his own back?

Either way, Ianto couldn't handle it. He got up and went to the drawer, pulled his mobile out, turned it off and ripped the battery out, throwing it all back into the drawer. The buzzer was driving Ianto insane, the constant buzzing, Jack keeping his finger on the button. Ianto went into the intercom and moved the dial for the volume control as low as it would go but he could still hear it. It wasn't as ear piercing as before but it was still there, Jack was still there. Ianto returned to his bed, curled up and after several hours of staring into space, buzzing from the ringer, he finally feel asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Dead On His Feet.

A week later and Ianto knocks on the door of the sandwich and as usual, Alison opened the door for him but her smile soon changed to a look of concern.

"Ianto. You look worse today than you did yesterday. Are you sure that you are fit for work?" Alison asks him and he piles in through the door.

"I'm fine Alison, just a little tired," he tells her with the best smile he could offer her.

Since the night Jack had come around and driven him crazy with the incessant buzzer ringing and endless phone calls, Jack hadn't left him alone. Every day, a different Torchwood team member would come into the shop, order their usual order and then tried to slip Ianto the letter from Jack which was starting to get a little shabby looking but every time, Ianto pushed it back and rejected it. Ianto didn't sleep much anymore and he didn't eat much anymore either.

All he did was go to work, gone home, curl up on his bed until it was time to get ready for work the next morning. Ianto was now a shell of the former, happy, young Welshman that he used to be and everyone around him saw it but Jack. Ianto gazed at the cakes as he put them in the cabinet. Alison was talking away to him but he was too tired, too empty to hear what she was saying.

"Ianto. IANTO!" Alison shouted and it scared him and he jumped a little before looking over to her.

"Sorry. I was miles away there. What were you saying?" Ianto asks her a gentle voice.

"It doesn't matter what I was saying. Should you be at work today?" she asks him, walking over to him and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to be at home. It's safe here. Please don't send me home," Ianto almost begs her like a little child.

"It's ok Ianto. I won't send you home if you don't want to go home. Tell me what's wrong Ianto?" she asks him and he sighs.

"It's Jack. He won't leave me alone. It's like he can't move on so he doesn't want me to either. You've seen what it's like in the shop. He sends me flowers, chocolates, teddies and then there are my former colleagues. Every time they come in, they order their food and then try and give me the letter from Jack again. If that wasn't bad enough, every time I go home, he follows me there, sits outside my flat, constantly calls me and rings my door buzzer religiously. I can't take it anymore," Ianto tells her, a single tear running down his face.

Alison puts her arms around him as Ianto again, for the second time in a week, falls apart.

********************

Hours later, after talking to Alison, sitting down and drinking tea with her and a few friendly regular pensioners, Ianto seemed a little more cheery. He was closer to his usual self again, Alison doing her best to keep his spirit up. It was just after 12 o'clock and the door bell rang as a customer opened the door and Ianto looked up and saw her walking in. He bit his bottom lip as Gwen walked up to the counter.

"Hello Ianto," she said, flipping her dark below shoulder length hair back over her shoulder and smiling like she usually did.

"Yes Gwen. How can I help you?" he asks her knowing what was coming.

"We'll have our usual please," she tells him and as Alison sets about starting to make the order up. Gwen slides the letter across the counter to Ianto and he sighs.

"I'm still not interested Gwen. I wish he would just leave me alone," Ianto tells her and the sadness from the morning returned to Ianto.

"I know Ianto but at least I can tell him I tried. We have all tried to tell him to leave you alone, that you will talk to him if you want to but he doesn't listen and every day, he hands us the letter and sends us out. He doesn't listen to any of us anymore. He's like a man possessed or obsessed," she tells him as he looks up to the ceiling, suppressing his tears.

Alison steps over to the counter where they are both stood, takes the letter and tears it into piece and bins it as Gwen watches in horror and Ianto watches with relief.

"Torchwood isn't welcome here anymore. You are all barred from this shop and you can take a message back to Jack. There will be no more letters, no more deliveries, no more anything. He is to leave Ianto alone," Alison barks at her and Gwen doesn't like it at all, to have this young girl giving her orders.

"And who the hell do you think you are?" Gwen barks back, looking her straight in the eye and Alison steps forward.

"I am Alison, Ianto's friend and I am trying to look after him and all this is destroying him. If you have a problem with that, we could always take it outside?" Alison asks Gwen, eyes blazing with anger and what she had said.

"Do you want me to past that message on?" Gwen asks Ianto turning away from Alison before she said something they would all regret.

"Please Gwen. Tell him to leave me alone. I'm not going back and I am trying to move on, start again and he is making it impossible. I don't know how much more I can take," Ianto tells her, Gwen seeing that he was a broken man and not the Ianto she knew.

"I will give him the message," she tells him with a smile and as she turns, she glares at Alison and leaves.

Ianto slumps into the chair that was behind the counter and puts his head in his hands and cries. Alison crouches down next to him and puts her arm around him. He turns into her and she puts her other arm around him and holds him close.

"It's ok Ianto. Hopefully he will get the message now. I am here for you Ianto," she tells him as she rubs his back, comforting him as he wept on her shoulder.

********************

The rest of the day went on pretty much as usual, serving customers, cleaning as they went along, Alison smiling at Ianto and even making a cup of tea for him as it was usually him that insisted on making it. Ianto's spirit seemed to lift on the outside but inside, he was dying. After the shop was closed and all the cleaning up was done, Ianto and Alison sat in the back room, each with a cup of tea.

"I hope you didn't mind me ripping up that letter? It was just making you so sad," she tells him, blowing the steaming tea and sipping it.

"In a way, you did me a favour. Eventually, probably soon, I would have cracked and read it and then who knows what would have happened," Ianto tells her.

"No-one is worth that Ianto. He might have meant a lot to you but you walked away. He can't keep hounding you like this. It's tearing you apart and even if you were to go back to him, it would never be the same as you aren't the same. Your not the Ianto that used to come in the shop for the sandwich order," Alison tells him, sorrow now in her eyes as well as his.

"He can't give me what I want even if I did go back. He hasn't got it in him. He promises me that he loves me and then everything carries on as usual," Ianto tells her knowing that it was true.

"Well I am a friend so I am here for you," she tells him smiling, knowing that he really needed a friend.

After they finish their tea, Ianto gets up and gets his coat and is about to leave but Alison dangles her dads van keys in front of his face and insists on taking him home. He is too tired to argue with her so he gets in the van with her. Her driving style reminded Ianto of Jack's. In a hurry, not caring too much about other people and road rage. He smiled as Alison came out with a line that Jack used and then his smile fell away.

They arrived outside Ianto's flat and they sat there a minute.

"I'd love to sit here all night with you but dad needs the van back. I can drop it back and then come back if you want?" Alison asks him, wanting to spend some time with him but not push him.

"It's ok. No doubt I will have the usual company tonight but thanks for the offer. I will see you at work tomorrow," he tells her as he leans over and kisses her on the cheek, his way of thanking her for her help.

He opens the door and gets out of the van, closing the door behind him and crossing in front of the bonnet of the van and stands on the pavement. Alison waves at him as she pulls her dads van away from the curb and away from Ianto and he waves back. He turns to the flats and then looks up at his flat and takes a deep breath in. He finally plucks up enough courage to go up to his flat and the depression and despair hits him as he opens his flat door. He steps inside and goes over to the sofa and sits down without even taking his coat off.

10 minutes after returning home and Ianto is in his bedroom sitting on his bed and then it starts. The buzzer starts ringing but then the shouting starts.

"Ianto. Ianto Jones. I know you are home. We need to talk," Jack shouts up to Ianto's window, pressing the buzzer while he shouts.

Ianto closes his eyes and cries.


	9. Chapter 9

It gets much worse for Ianto.

Calling In All Favours.

Ianto is so tired, so emotionally tired that he just can't take any more, so much so that he decides on drastic action. Desperate, sat on his bed, his mobile ringing for the tenth time since returning home from work, he makes the decision that he feared making but he knew was the only way out. He finds his mobile and access the contacts list. He finds the right number and presses dial.

"Hello," Owen answers and Ianto takes a deep breath.

"Owen. I'm calling in those favours you owe me from the past few years," Ianto tells him and the line goes quiet.

"Ianto. Is that you?" Owen asks, not believing that Ianto would call him over the others.

"No. It's the ghost from Torchwood past. How else would it be. Like I said, I'm calling in all the favours that you owe me and you know what I mean so I'm not going over the when's and where's. I don't have time for it," he tells him, a very serious look on his face as he gears up to tell Owen what he wants.

"What do you need Ianto and before you ask, I am alone and not at the hub," Owen tells him knowing what was coming.

"I need you to hear me out before you say anything," Ianto warns him so Owen knows something serious is coming.

"Fire away," he replies in his cool, calm, collected way.

"I need some Retcon, strong enough to wipe the whole of Torchwood from my memory. I want to go back 5 years, complete wipe," Ianto asks, his hands shaking.

"Ianto. What do you want Retcon for and don't tell me you want to wipe Torchwood from your memory. I think you want to wipe Jack from your memory and he isn't worth losing 5 years of memories over. He will back off in the end, trust me," Owen tells him, trying in his own way to get Ianto to think along a different way.

"Owen. Either you bring the Retcon to me or I will go and get it but the problem with me getting it is that I don't know what strength to use and I might pick the wrong strength and do myself some permanent damage. It's down to you. Done properly or done my way," Ianto tells him making sure that Owen knows that he is serious.

"How am I going to get the Retcon?" Owen asks, covering his own back as he knew that Jack would kill him if he knew it was him.

Ianto walks Owen through his security codes and such so if Jack went through the security logs, it would show that it was Ianto. Ianto also told Owen how to hack the computer to erase the video footage as well. Ianto had done it a few times so he knew how to do it.

"When and where do we meet so I can give you the Retcon?" he asks Ianto.

He thinks a moment and then replies.

"Midnight on the top floor of the multi storey car park. Alone Owen, I mean it," Ianto tells him.

Ianto puts the phone down and starts to make preparations. He gets a note book and takes it to his dining table and starts writing down things he needs to know after the Retcon takes affect. He writes about Alison and the shop that he works at, a fake short history and a letter to himself. Once done, he puts it on his bedside table where he would find it.

He then goes to his wardrobe and opens it. He knows that memories are a strong thing and he needed to get rid of his suits as they reminded him of Torchwood, events in Torchwood and Jack and he didn't want to risk awaking those after the Retcon. He took out all the suits but one, the one he saved for funerals and weddings. He left that hanging but moved it to the other end of the wardrobe. He gets an old suitcase and puts all his suits in it and takes it into the lounge and puts it by the front door.

He then goes from room to room in the flat and gets anything that would even risk his memories returning. Photo's of him and the team, him and Jack, a couple of books that Tosh had even him to add to his collection, a novelty mug that Owen had given him one Christmas, his humour not Ianto's, everything else that would remind him of Torchwood and the team.

He put them all in bin liners and he drags them out of the flat and into the alley behind the flats and into the bins. He comes back into the flat and looks at the time. 10:34. Ianto grabs his coat and puts it on and grabs the suitcase of suits. He leaves the flat, locking the door behind him and as he gets to the ground floor, he stops short of the front door.

"What if Jack is out there? I don't want him to follow me. I don't want him to know what I am doing," Ianto thought to himself and he decided that he would go the back way, out through the alleyway. Ianto uses all the back streets and alleyway's to get to the charity shop where he leaves the suitcase at the back door as he usually did on after hours drop offs.

He makes his way as quick as he can through the streets of Cardiff and as he walks, he throws his mobile in a bin. He didn't need Jack ringing it after the Retcon. He wanted all traces of Jack gone that he could remove. He reaches the top of the multi storey car park where he is meeting Owen and he stands at the edge and looks out. Ianto loses all track of time as he stands out on the edge and remembers Jack for the last time. Remembered their love, their life and Torchwood.

Ianto's thoughts are broken when he hears a car approaching him and he moves back away from the edge and turns around to see Owens car approaching him. Owen stops and opens the passenger door of his car and Ianto goes to the door and climbs in.

"Ianto. Are you really sure you want to do this because if your not sure, don't do it because you won't be able to go back once it is done?" Owen asks him not sure whether he should give him the Retcon.

"Owen. I know what I am doing. Jack won't leave me alone no matter what I do, what I say and everyone has tried. He is on a mission and I am too tired to fight him. I gave him chance after chance and he throw them back in my face so I made the choice to walk away. This is the only way I am going to get rid of Jack once and for all but I will miss you though I won't know who you are if that is what you are worried about," Ianto tells him with a smile and Owen smiles back knowing that this must be hard for Ianto to do.

Owen fishes around in his pocket and pulls out the Retcon pill and then gets the water out of the door panel at the side of him.

"I thought you might want some water to take it with," Owen tells him and passes him both the water and the pill.


	10. Chapter 10

This is a short chapter but hopefully a strong one. There is worse yet to come so stay with me and i will take you on a roll coaster ride, hopefully.

It's Too Late Jack.

Ianto puts the pill in his mouth and gets a good mouthful of water from the bottle Owen gave him and swallows the Retcon and turns to Owen.

"If there is anything you want to say to me, you had better say it now as tomorrow, I won't know who you are," Ianto tells him with a strange smile on his face, realising what he had done.

"You know that we quite often butted heads at work and I know that I was an annoying prick at times but you know that whatever I said, I didn't mean it. I can tell you this because you won't remember this in the morning but I quite admire you. You were always calm in a situation, always had a cool head and always looked ready for anything always dressed in a clean, pressed suit," Owen starts and then looks at Ianto, the Retcon working faster than expected as Ianto gets drowsy.

"For what it's worth, I think Jack is nuts. Love is hard to find, I know. I had it and let her go. I still think about Diane, Diane Holmes. You loved him and we all knew it, pity that Jack didn't see it before it was too late. It's his fault what happened, all of it. I don't think Retcon was the way to go but I understand why you are doing it. You loved him so much but you couldn't face the heart ache any more. I wish you hadn't fallen for Jack and then you would still be at Torchwood with us," Owen finishes and he looks over to Ianto and he had gone, unconscious and asleep from the Retcon.

Owen leans over to Ianto and kisses him on the forehead.

"Bye mate. See you around some time," Owen tells him.

He gets out of the car leaving Ianto in the passengers seat, sits on the bonnet of the car and thinks about what Ianto must have been going through for him to do this to himself. He hears a vehicle approaching and as he turns around, he sees that it is the Torchwood SUV coming towards them at speed. He gets off of the bonnet of his car as the SUV rocks to a stop and Jack jumps out and runs to Owens car and sees Ianto inside, asleep.

"It's too late Jack. He's gone and it's done. He Retconed himself," Owen tells Jack, anger in his voice.

Jack turns from looking at Ianto to looking at Owen and from nowhere, punches him knocking him to the floor.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE OWEN?" Jack screams at Owen, as loud as he possibly can.

"What have I done? This was all you Jack. This is all your doing. You just couldn't leave him alone. You just had to keep pushing him. How did you think this was going to end? You had broken him down so much, it was this or suicide. You pushed him that much that he had to destroy you the only way he could by forgetting you, forgetting us, forgetting Torchwood," Owen shouts at him, getting up off of the floor holding his jaw.

Jack opens the car door and pulls Ianto out and sits down on the floor, holding Ianto in his arms.

"I didn't want this Yan. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted you to come back to me. I wanted you to be my partner, my companion. Oh god Yan. This isn't the way it was meant to be. I love you so much and now I have lost you for good," Jack tells Ianto, holding him close, tears streaming down his face.

The tough arsed, emotionless Owen, stands with tears in his eyes and running down his face as his fearless leader sits on the floor holding his friend, Ianto, in his arms, holding him so close and kissing him, getting no response from Ianto. The sedative in the Retcon, keeping him asleep as his memories of Jack, Owen, Tosh, Gwen, Rhys, Suzie and Torchwood are wiped from his memories. Owen couldn't do anything but stand there and watch as his leader losses the man he loves and falls apart with Ianto in his arms, as though he had died. He might as well have for he wouldn't remember any of them when he woke up.


	11. Chapter 11

Another short one, the first of a couple but some bigger ones coming up.

Forgetting Torchwood.

Ianto wakes up the next morning to the ringing of his alarm clock and he felt slightly shaky. He felt as though he was hung over but otherwise fine. With the last 5 years of his memory gone but Ianto not knowing that part, Ianto wondered why his alarm had gone off and as he looked at the bedside table where is alarm clock was, he noticed a note book so he picked it up, still sat in his bed and read it.

"Dear Ianto,

You were involved in an accident a while back and you suffered head injuries. Due to these head injuries, you some times lose chunks of memory and that is why you wrote this down in this note book. It is a rough guide to what you need to know should you lose part of your memory again. Read it and hopefully it will help you. If you have lost any memories, call into work, number inside and call in sick for the day. There is a lot to get your head around depending on what you have lost. Good luck and be happy. Yourself. Ianto Jones," he wrote covering all bases before the Retcon.

Ianto thought a second about what the letter at the start of the note book had said and then read it again to make sure that he had it all right. Ianto had the strange feeling that something wasn't right but as he looked at the note again, he saw that it was his handwriting and his signature so it must be right. As the note requested, Ianto read the section on work about Alison and her family, as the note told him to take the day off if he lost any memory, which he had. He found the number in the note book and went to his land line and he called the number and spoke to Alison, telling her that he needed the day off which she agreed to. For the rest of the day, Ianto spent most of the time sitting with his feet up, drinking tea and reading the note book, over and over again so it stuck in his mind.

**********************

The next week went on as usual, well, as usual as it was going to be now. Ianto went to work every day, went home, did something new to make more memories and went to bed for it all to start again. Unlike the old Ianto, he had time to kill now and he caught up with what was on at the cinema, went to the pub and even took Alison out one night to the cinema. He took back to her house afterwards and as they said goodnight on the door step, Ianto kissed Alison. When she went in, he began to think as he walked home. "That didn't feel right. Why didn't it feel right? She is pretty, funny and we get on like a house on fire so why didn't that feel right?" Ianto thought to himself.

He went home that night and was unable to get it out of his head. The next morning he went to work and carried on as usual but he didn't say a word to Alison about it not feeling right when he kissed her. He didn't want to hurt her feelings and telling her that, would. Life was as normal for Ianto Jones as it could get. There were no thoughts of Torchwood, no thoughts of his colleagues and no thoughts of Jack and there were no reminders either.

The team had avoided going into the shop to get their dinner orders, opting to leave Ianto alone. They didn't want to go in the shop and see Ianto, going about his job like he didn't know them, after all that they had gone through in the past years. It hurt them too much. It hurt Jack more and he made sure that he never went near Ianto even though he wanted nothing more than to go and see him, talk to him, touch him, kiss him but he didn't want to risk any memories coming forward. Ianto didn't know him anymore and it hurt him.


	12. Chapter 12

Another short chapter but this leads to a longer chapter.

Wolves In Sheep's Clothing.

Ianto is sat in a pub, drinking on his own, watching the rugby when someone catches Ianto's attention, sat at the end of the bar. He looked familiar to Ianto but he looked totally out of place. The clothes he wore, the way he spoke, the way he acted, so familiar but where did Ianto know him from. The man sees Ianto looking at him, picks up his glass and comes down the bar to Ianto.

"Do I know you from somewhere because you seem to know me?" the guys asks him.

The guy was young maybe a little younger than Ianto, tall with a slim build and short brunette hair. There was something was familiar about his eyes.

"Sorry. You looked familiar to me but from where, I don't know," he tells him and the guy offers Ianto his hand.

"The name is Gray," he tells Ianto smiling.

"Doesn't ring a bell. I'm Ianto, Ianto Jones," he replies shaking Gray's hand.

They sit at a table in the same pub. They spend a few hours chatting, laughing, joking with each other. Ianto rather liked his new friend and finds that familiar feeling getting stronger. Ianto was comfortable with him and found that they had a lot in common. The things they liked, things they didn't like. As they talked, Gray kept getting the drinks in, pint after pint after pint and by the end of the night, throwing out time, Ianto was a little drunk and Gray offers to walk him home as he didn't live far away from the pub.

Gray help Ianto to the front door of the flats. Ianto fumbles with his keys so Gray takes them and opens the door. He helps him upstairs to Ianto's front door and opens the door for him. Ianto looks at the stranger, looks him strange in the eyes and for some unknown reason, wants desperately to kiss Gray and when Gray says goodnight to Ianto, Ianto leans in and kisses him on the lips. Gray doesn't pull away.

As soon as Ianto pulls away from Gray's lips, away from Gray, he starts to feel very dizzy, the hall of the building swirling around him so he leans against the door frame. As he gets dizzier and dizzier, his vision blurring, he sees Gray smiling at him. His legs go from under him and he crashes to the floor in a heap, banging his head off of the door frame as he goes down, his vision getting darker, unable to move.

"You sleep Ianto Jones. We have a long day ahead of us," Gray tells him and Ianto blacks out completely.


	13. Chapter 13

Short but sweet.

Bait.

Ianto opens his eyes, head hurting and something stuffed in his mouth and tied around his head. His eyes take a little while to focus but once they have, all he sees is darkness. He could hear noises, something dripping, something small moving far in front of him and then someone spoke, light suddenly blinding him, making him jump.

"I see you are finally awake Mr Jones. How are you feeling this morning? A little fuzzy maybe? That feeling will pass but there are much larger things to worry about," a familiar voice says to him but Ianto can't see who it is as the light shines in his eyes and he turns away.

"Who are you?" Ianto mumbles through the gag in his mouth.

"Oh, can't you see me? I apologise. The least you should be able to do is see the man who drugged you Ianto," he tells him, moving the light from Ianto's eyes and when he can see again, he sees Gray stood in front of him, next to the lamp.

"Why did you drug me? What did I do?" he mumbles with whatever it was still in his mouth.

"Oh sorry Ianto. You can't talk. You must have questions," Gray tells Ianto as he takes the gag out of his mouth.

"Why have you drugged me? What have I done to you?" he asks Gray as Gray smiles.

"You Ianto Jones, haven't done anything but Jack did. Your just the bait for my brother dearest," Gray replies.

"Who is this Jack? I don't know any Jack," Ianto tells Gray confused at what was being said.

"Captain Jack Harkness. Tall, good looking, dark haired, American accent, leader of Torchwood?" Gray asks him.

"I have no idea who you are talking about," he replies and Gray looked at him oddly.

Gray walked right up to Ianto though he pulls away, looks in his eyes and Gray sees it.

"Oh, what did you do wrong? You've been Retconed," Gray tells him.

"What the hell is Retcon?" Ianto asks as he tries to undo his restraints.

"Retcon is a drug alien to this planet and it is given to people to wipe their memories. Torchwood us it all the time without people even knowing it. It's been used on you. You must have seen, heard or done something you shouldn't have though I can't help but wonder what as you were my brothers right hand man and lover," Gray informs Ianto with great pleasure in his voice and face.

"I have never had a male lover in my life. The last partner I had was a beautiful woman called Lisa who I lost in the battle of Canary Warf and as for Retcon, is that what you used on me to drug me?" Ianto asks getting more and more confused by the second.

"How much of your memories has he taken? Doing my research, I would say about 5 years if your last memories are Canary Warf and no, I didn't use Retcon on you. I used a little thing I like to keep at hand for emergencies. You put it on your lips and it acts like a sedative, just a lot strong than you have on Earth. I am immune to it so I don't get affect when I put it on," Gray confesses to Ianto.

"You keep saying Earth and planet like your not from Earth?" Ianto asks him.

"Well done Ianto. That's why my brother likes you. Your not as stupid as you look. I'm not from this planet and neither is Jack. Hell, we're not even from this time. We're from the 51st Century. Now do me a favour and be good bait," Gray tells him and hits Ianto over the head knocking him out cold.


	14. Chapter 14

Old Voice, New Face.

Tosh was working on the new program, tracking the flares. Gwen and Owen were chatting in the autopsy room and Jack was in his office. All of a sudden, Toshiko's computer went nuts. Alarm bells rang, sirens sounded and lights flashed. Jack, Owen and Gwen came running into the main hub area and to Tosh's workstation.

"What's going on Tosh?" Jack asks her.

"The hub main computer is being hacked but something is coming in and not being taken out," Tosh explains worried.

"What's coming in?" Owen asks.

"It's a video stream but I can't trace it back. The sender is clever," Tosh tells him.

Before Tosh could say another word, a video comes to Toshiko's screen and every other screen in the hub that was on. The footage started with a young, dark haired man stood in a dark room.

"Hello big brother. Oh, by the look you have on your face, your probably wondering what is going on so I will tell you Jack though that's not the name I know you by brother. If you haven't figured it out by now, it's Gray, your little brother, the one you let go of. You have probably figured it out by now but I have been here for a while now, tracking. Those little rift flares, that was me. I have been looking for someone and I have found them. Now to the serious bit. You remember when we were kids and you said you would never leave me, well you did Jack. You let go of me. Dad told you, the older one, to look after me, make sure I was alright and safe when they came but you didn't did you Jack. You let go of me and I spent years in hell thanks to you. I spent so much time thinking that you would come back for me, rescue me but you didn't. Years of pain and after a few, hope turned to despair and then to revenge," Gray starts to tell him and then takes a minute.

"Once I was rescued by someone else, I set about reaping my revenge on you for all those years. I found a future Torchwood, one that I could infiltrate and I went through the archives back to your time, back to now and one person stood out to me. One person who seemed to matter to you and I plotted my revenge. I want you to feel some of the pain I felt, lost, abandoned, grief. I have someone here I think you might know," Gray finally finished ranting at Jack, he steps aside to reveal an unconscious, bleeding Ianto, gagged and tied to a chair.

"Your technical officer and I hope I get this write as it will be embarrassing if not, Toshiko Sato, will have already told you that you can't trace this feed and your medical officer Dr Owen Harper will verify that beautiful Ianto Jones is still alive, unconscious but alive and knowing about mother hen, former WPC Gwen Cooper, she is probably glaring at you, leaving you in no doubt that this is all your fault," Gray tells Jack.

With tears in his eyes and his heart breaking, seeing his lover unconscious and hurt, he turns to Gwen and indeed like Gray had said, Gwen was in fact glaring at him. A tear rolls down both of their faces and Gwen's face softens up as she sees how much Jack is hurting. He turns to Owen and asks him, "Is he still alive?" but without saying a word.

"He's alive Jack," Owen tells him sorrowful.

"Now that that has been verified, we can get down to the nitty gritty. As you look closer, over my right shoulder, Tosh, if you would be so kind as to enhance this section over my shoulder," he asks her indicating the area as Toshiko obliges.

"You will see that there is a clocking counting down. Oh yes Jack. Light bulb moment. The room where Ianto Jones is sat, is rigging to blow in 2 hours and 46 minutes. The bombs aren't anything you have ever come across so don't be under illusions that should you get here in time, you can defuse them because you can't and they are attached to every load baring support of this building so once they blow, Ianto is gone which even if I do say so myself would be a shame. I can see what you like about him. His tall strong build, his boyish looks, his gorgeous blue eyes, dark luscious hair and he's an amazing kisser. Don't be angry with him Jack. He doesn't remember he actually loves you. Retcon Jack? Still using the same old stuff," Gray tells Jack walking over to Ianto, crouching down beside him and stroking Ianto's face.

"Now for the mission Jack. You have 2 hours and 44 minutes to find Ianto Jones. Come and face me Jack and save Ianto Jones. One clue though for old times sake, for family. Your on the wrong side of Cardiff. Hurry Jack, time is ticking," Gray tells him with a cruel smile and then the video feed stops.


	15. Chapter 15

It's A Trap Jack.

The team look at each other in horror except Jack. He can't speak, can't breathe, can't move. His brother, little Gray, the brother he lost all those years ago when they took him and he never stopped looking for was actually alive, alive and had the man he loved, Ianto Jones, prisoner, using him to get Jack.

"I'll get our side arms from the armoury," Gwen suddenly announces in the silence of the hub.

"I'm counting down the time and getting the medical kit," Owen announces as he and Gwen split and go in different directions.

"I will ready the PDA's to scan for alien tech and get anything we might need tech wise," Toshiko says taping away on her computer.

"No!. I don't you to come with me. I have to do this alone. I get Ianto into this and I will get him out of it," Jack announces, speaking for the first time since seeing Gray and Ianto.

"Your not going on your own Jack. It's Ianto. He might not remember us but he still one of us," Owen tells him, surprised at Jack's announcement.

"And who's fault is that Owen?" Jack snaps at him.

"You know it's a trap don't you Jack?" Gwen asks him knowing she had to stop the argument that was about to kick off as Ianto didn't have time for this.

"I know. I know it's a trap. Gray knows I know but he knows what he is doing. He knows about us, us all and probably knows I can't die but Ianto can, he's mortal. He knows he can't kill me in body so he is going to kill me in mind, heart and soul instead by killing Ianto. He is clever and angry and that makes the worst combination. You heard what he said. I have to go alone and I'm not putting anyone else at risk. I have done enough already," Jack tells them.

"We can't just sit around doing nothing Jack. It's Ianto. You need our help," Owen tells him, now feeling very guilty for allowing Ianto to Retcon himself.

"I know you can't just sit around and I don't expect you to but I want you all safe. It's bad enough that I have put Ianto at risk without putting the rest of you at risk as well," Jack tells them, a mixture of sorrow and anger in his voice.

"Don't argue with us Jack. We are helping you to find Ianto and that is that. You know that Ianto would do the same for us," Gwen tells him sharply and straight to the point.

"And it would go quicker if we were out in the field. You need us Jack. You need us to find Ianto," Toshiko backs Gwen.

"Do I have a choice here?" Jack asks his team, all looking at him, all ready to go.

"No Jack, you haven't. Even if you order us to stay here, you know we will defy you. We are big enough and ugly enough to look after ourselves," Gwen replies.

Jack looks at his team, one by one and he can see that they where right. Ianto would do the same for them, they would defy him if he ordered them to stay and it would be quicker with them rather than without them. They could cover more area in less time.

"You leave me no choice. Tosh, PDA's. Map out search areas. Have you managed to save the video footage?" he asks her but she was already downloading everything to the PDA's.

"Already on it Jack," she tells him.

Jack turns to Gwen but she had already gone. He turns to Owen and he is stood there with the full medical kit looking at his watch.

"He has 2 hours and 16 minutes Jack," Owen reminds him as Jack looks at his watch, painfully aware the time was passing as they got ready.

"Owen. You and Tosh in one car. Gwen, in your own car and I'm in the SUV," Jack orders as Gwen returns with 4 Torchwood standard side arms, ready, loaded and with an extra mag each.

"Why 4 guns Gwen?" Tosh asks as Jack looks at Gwen, him knowing why.

"Ianto will need one when we find him," Gwen replies smiling at Jack as she gives him Ianto's side arm and extra mag.

"Right. Everyone in your vehicles and maintain constant contact. I want to know where everyone is at all times. Tosh. While Owen is driving, I want you going over the video to see if you can find any clue as to where Gray is keeping him," Jack tells him.

All four of them leave, almost running, leaving the main hub area and they make their way up to the garage where the SUV, Gwen's car and Owens car were. Jack jumped in the SUV, Gwen in her car and Tosh and Owen in his car. All three engines roar to a start almost simultaneously and the garage door raises on Jack's request. Jack was at the front and Owen was taking up the rear with Gwen sandwiched in the middle.

"Toshiko. Issue out co-ordinates and then there are the rules. If you should find Gray or Ianto, call in and don't not approach. Only I am to approach as Gray demanded. No trying to play the hero and if you are planning it, stay here, do you hear me Owen?" he asks knowing all too well what he was like.

"Yes boss. Clear and understood. No being a hero," Owen tells him and Tosh smacks him on the knee showing him that that wasn't really the best time for his humour.

"Sorry Jack," he apologises.

"I want you're A game out there. Ianto has just over 2 hours left and we have one hell of a large area to cover. Gray's one and only clue was that we are on the wrong side of Cardiff so I think that we should start north and work down. Gwen, you have the east side, Owen and Tosh, you have the west side and I will head straight down the middle. Time is of the essence team so be sharp, be clever and be safe," Jack orders and he pulls out of the garage with Gwen behind him and Tosh and Owen behind her.

The garage door closes behind the Torchwood team.


	16. Chapter 16

Fear And Darkness.

Ianto comes around again, his head throbbing with this amazingly painful headache where Gray had hit him and knocked him out. The gag was no longer in his mouth but it was replaced by a foul, dry taste. Partly from the material used for the gag, partly due to the fact that Ianto hadn't been able to brush his teeth and he had the distinct taste of stale, old lager in his mouth and lastly, the fact that he hadn't had anything to drink. His mouth was so dry as he wasn't producing saliva.

Ianto looked around the room he was in and saw that it wasn't a room at all. It was an entire floor and it looked like it was that ground floor of an old warehouse. There was more light now and it was natural. It was coming from a few small windows, dotted around the top of the high walls. The windows were only small but large enough for enough light to come in for Ianto to see and he could tell that it was after dawn.

Ianto continued to look around and he sees some rubbish laying around. Coke cans, crisp packets, smoked cigarette ends, the usual rubbish. On the walls was graffiti. Some were of cartoon men smoking cannabis, others were tags from various people. He saw the lamp in front of him, the lamp that that nutter Gray had shone in his eyes. Next to it but not too close was another chair, restraints attached to it and then Ianto sees it out of the corner of his eye. Big red numbers.

1:48. A minute later, 1:47. It was counting down to something but what. Ianto looked around again, this time studying everything more clearly. "What was that? 1, 2, 3, 4. Oh god. Could that really be? Were they really bombs?" Ianto thought as he looked around the room and continued to count them. "8, 9, 10."

By the time that Ianto had finished counting them, there were 14 of them. 14 bombs, all attached to the support posts of the building.

"HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME," Ianto screams but all he heard was echo's.

He shouted again but again, there was no reply other than his voice echoing around the place.

"Oh god. What is going on? Who was that crazy guy called Gray? Why was he saying all those things? Why was he saying he wasn't from this planet or century? Why did he insist that I know someone called Captain Jack Harkness from something called Torchwood and why was he saying that I was this Jack's right hand man and lover?" Ianto thought, his head hurting more and more as he thought whilst fiddling with the restraints, his mouth finally producing some saliva but it tasted foul but he was thankful for it.

"I don't know any Captain Jack Harkness, I don't know any Jack. I'm not gay either. I have never even thought about a man that why let alone slept with a man and Torchwood, what the hell was Torchwood?" Ianto thinks, blinking hard, his face hurting where it met his hair line under an open, bleeding wound.

1:36. Time was going much quicker than Ianto expected, his heart beating faster, his pulse racing, sweat running down his face.

"Why am I here? I've been mistaken for someone else. I have been drugged, kidnapped and sentenced to death because some mad man thinks I'm someone else? Death! Is this it? Is this my life over at such a young age? Is this how I'm going out, out into the darkness? Is this really the way it is going to end? Is this my lot? What have I done with my life?" Ianto asks himself, tears running down his face.

"I don't want to die. I like my life. It might not be much but it's mine. I want to love again. I want to find a beautiful woman, make love to her in the morning, I want to marry her and have a family. I want to grow old happy and die an old man with his wife and family around him. I'm not ready to die yet," Ianto sobs.

"HELP ME. GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME," Ianto screams as loud as he could, his heart breaking, his tears flowing faster than ever now as he realised, no-one was coming.

**1:32 flashes on the clock. **


	17. Chapter 17

This chapter is split into sections and it will be clear as to why I have done this.

Getting Close.

Owen and Tosh arrive at the co-ordinates that they were to start from and as Owen stops the car, Tosh has her head buried in her PDA.

"Looking at the video footage of Gray and Ianto, I think he is holding him in a warehouse or similar type of building. Obviously it has to be abandoned and not recently either. That is the only clue I can give you Jack. Sorry," Tosh tells him over her earpiece.

"No. That's great Tosh. You have managed to narrow down what we are searching for," Jack tells her and she smiles at the thought of herself helping to find Ianto.

"Right Tosh. We are at the start point. Where now and please, no technical babble as Ianto doesn't have time for you to have to explain everything twice. He has 1 hour and 46 minutes," Owen tells her, looking at his watch.

Tosh looked at her PDA and found the nearest search area to their current location and gives Owen directions. As he drives, Toshiko works on her PDA, sending Gwen and Jack search areas and instructions to their PDA's and SUV onboard computer. Owens driving was almost as bad as Jack's but he had a reason for driving like that. Their former colleague and their friend was in trouble, a life and death situation.

They arrived in the centre of a derelict industrial estate and Owen stops the car, slamming on the brakes, both of them being thrown forward. They both exit the car, Tosh with her PDA in her hand and Owen with his side arm drawn and ready. Owen looks at his watch. **1:32**.

* * *

Gwen arrives at her start point. She looks at her mobile, the timer counting down. 1 hour and 46 minutes. She turns to her PDA which is sat in a dock on the dashboard of her car.

"Tosh said an abandoned warehouse or building but not recently abandoned," Gwen tells herself tapping away on her PDA.

She entered in search parameters and her PDA flagged up three different areas that fit the bill so she picked the closest to her current position and enters it into her SatNav. With some impressive driving, Gwen arrived at the right location in good time, for her anyway. She arrives at her first stop, a derelict meat packing plant, turns her car off and gets out with her PDA, mobile and gun. She locks the car and slides her gun into the waist band of her trousers and she looks at her mobile which is still counting down. **1:32.**

* * *

"1 hour and 46 minutes," Jack tells himself as he reaches his start co-ordinates set by Tosh.

Jack fumbles around with the onboard computer, hating it, technical things were Tosh's thing. He was the action man.

"Tosh. How do you work this damn thing?" Jack asks her, punching away at the buttons.

"Give me a second," she tells him over the earpiece.

A few seconds later, the screen on the onboard computer of the SUV changes.

"There Jack. You should be seeing a map with four areas in red bubbles. All you have to do is press the red bubble where you want to go and then the SatNav will kick in and direct you. When you get there, the map will come back onto the screen minus the one red bubble where you are," Toshiko explains to him.

"Thanks Tosh," he tells her and taps the closest red bubble and the SatNav kicks in.

After a few minutes driving, Jack arrives at the right place and the map returns to the computer screen. Jack is at an old, derelict Mill. He gets out of the SUV, locks it and draws his Webbly. He looks at his watch. **1:32. **

* * *

Toshiko scans for alien tech and her PDA detects something and bleeps.

Gwen scans for alien tech with her PDA and it detects something and bleeps.

Jack scans for alien tech with his wrist strap and it detects something and bleeps.

**1 hour and 31 minutes. **


	18. Chapter 18

This chapter comes in four sections, the same time from everyone's point of view.

Rescue?

Tosh and Owen move in closer on the alien tech signal that she was receiving to her PDA. They approached the building, Owen to the left, side arm raised and Tosh to the right with her PDA in one hand and reaching for her side arm out of her waist band with the other. The building they where approaching was a brick built, post 1900 and had many uses in the past. It was four storey's high with all the windows covered with metal shutters. Owen and Tosh reach the outer wall and stand with their backs against it.

Owe tries to look into the building through one of the shuttered windows but there just wasn't a big enough gap for him to see.

"Jack. We are at our first location and Tosh has detected alien tech so we are doing a walk around to see if we can see anything," Owen tells him but all he hears is static.

He looks at Tosh and she shrugs at him.

"Might be the alien tech interfering with the com's," Tosh tells him not knowing why there was just static.

"I'll go around this side and you go around the other side and meet me around the back," Owen tells her raising his side arm again.

She nods to him and they both edge to the corners of the building and then disappear from each others sight. Tosh very cautiously walks along the side of the building keeping her back as close to the wall as possible. She was naturally nervous about what they were going to walk into and she nervously looks behind herself to make sure nothing and no-one was behind her.

She reached a window which had shutters on and tiptoeing carefully as it was quite high, she tries to look in but she couldn't see anything. As she backed away from the window a little, she noticed that the bolts holding the shutters on were brand new. They hadn't been there long which Toshiko thought was rather strange as this building had been derelict for a few years now.

**********

Owen moved quite quickly along the wall, less cautious than Tosh. He was more confident than her anyway. Whenever he got to a window, Owen tried to look through the shutters but he couldn't see a thing. He tried to move the shutter but it was solidly attached. Owen gave up and moved on quickly and in no time, he arrived at the rear of the building and there was no sign of Tosh. As Owen walks around to the side of the building where Tosh was, she appears at the corner.

"Did you find anything?" Tosh asks him as they walk together to the back door.

"No. I looked through all the windows but I couldn't see anything. I even tried to get one of the shutters off but they are too secure," he confesses.

"I noticed something about those shutters. They are all brand new which is strange as the building has been derelict for a while and there are no plans for the building," Toshiko informs him.

"That is quite strange. Maybe Gray has done it so if Ianto gets lose, he can't escape. We need to get inside," Owen tells her and he tries the door which was solid metal.

Owen manages to move the door a little but it was locked and rattled in it's frame.

"I have something here that might help us with this," Tosh tells Owen, handing him her side arm and taking a familiar device from her pocket.

It was an alien device that could unlock nearly ever lock in under 10 seconds. She holds the device to the lock and allows it to do it's thing and in 3 seconds. Owen and Tosh heard the lock move.

"Clever girl Tosh," Owen tells her as she returns the device to her pocket and taking back her side arm from Owen, smiling at him as he had complimented her and she didn't even mind that he called her "girl".

Owen reaches for the door handle and slowly opens the door carefully, side arm raised. Tosh follows him as he slowly goes through the door, her side arm raised and glimpsing at her PDA. The signal was getting stronger. They had cautiously walked about 10 feet into the building when the door slammed behind them hard, sound echoing around the building.

The alarm bells sounded, literally, lights flashed and then they both saw them, there were a lot of them. Bombs, what looked liked bombs, all around the room. Then the numbers, numbers that they had seen before, counting down. Owen looks at his watch and they were the same.

**1:17.**

* * *

Gwen makes sure that she is walking to the right building, the largest as there were three of them and she points her PDA around and the signal was strongest from the larger building. As she walks, she makes sure that her side arm is ready if she needs it. She looks around as she walks closer to the building, making sure that nothing and no-one was watching her, the little hairs on her arms and the back of her neck standing up. She was nervous, scared and excited all at the same time, her heart pounding, finally reaching the building.

"Jack. I am at my location and I have detected alien technology," she tells him over her earpiece but all she gets is static and noise.

"Jack. Owen. Tosh," she calls over the earpiece but nothing, just static.

She gets her mobile out of her pocket, brings up contacts and tries to call Owen but her mobile just cuts out. She tries to call Tosh but again, her mobile just cuts out.

"Great. The technology must be interfering with the signals," Gwen says out loud and then realises that she is talking to herself.

She puts her mobile back in her pockets and she looks up at the building. A big metal door and shutters at the windows. She takes a deep breath in and tries the front door. As she suspected, it was locked and didn't shift an inch. She sighs thinking, "That would have been too easy." Gwen moves along the front of the building, trying to see through the windows but not seeing anything. She moves along the side, checking the windows there but having no luck and then she gets to the back of the building.

Slightly to the left of the centre was a back door. She makes her way to the door very cautiously with her side arm raised. She puts her hand on the handle of the heavy, metal door and she takes another deep breath in and turns it. Surprisingly, the door opens and she brings her gun up in front of her. "That was too easy," she thinks to herself as she slowly walks into the building, eye balling every corner, every shadow. Then the door slams behind her.

**"NO!"** Gwen screams as she runs to the door and frantically tries the door handle.

**"NO, NO, NO," **she screams and then she sees the red numbers.

**1:17**

* * *

Jack walks confidently but cautiously towards the building the signal was coming from. His heart was beating so fast and so hard, it was almost in his mouth. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his face as he looked around, turning around at every sound, every noise. If his heart beat got any faster, it would surely explode. Jack feels every footstep as he gets closer to the building, his palms getting sweaty.

"Why was he so nervous? This wasn't like him but it was Gray, his little brother and Ianto, the man he loved," he thought to himself as he walks and reaches the front of the building.

"This is it," Jack says out loud.

Jack puts his hand on the door handle and it opens. He goes inside, Webbly in front of him, hearing his heartbeat in his ears now. The place is dark with another door in front of him. Jack looks at his wrist strap.

**1:17. **

* * *

Ianto is sat on his chair sobbing when he hears a noise. A door opening, very faint footsteps.

**"HELP! HELP! I'M IN HERE,"** Ianto screams, his throat hurting from all the shouting, his head almost in pieces with the pain.

**"SOMEONE HELP ME,"** he screams again and then, to Ianto's surprise and relief, someone steps through the door in the room.

"Help me. I've been kidnapped and there are bombs," Ianto shouts almost not being able to get it out to the stranger at the door, arms stretched out in front of it.

"Ianto. Thank god I found you," the stranger tells him almost running towards him.

"How do you know who I am?" Ianto asks, confusion flooding his mind.

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness," Jack tells him almost reaching him and then it happens.

A loud bang rings through the room, the look on the strangers face changes and then Ianto see it, blood. Blood soaking through the strangers shirt and he falls to his knees and then to the floor.

"**NO!" **Ianto screams, looking at the dead stranger at his feet and then Ianto looks at the clock.

**1:17.**


	19. Chapter 19

Warning. There is a little swearing but no much.

Resurrection.

Ianto looks to the doorway and sees Gray standing there with a gun in his hand.

"You killed him," Ianto shouts at Gray as he lowers the gun.

"And?" Gray replies, walking over to them both.

"What do you mean AND? You just murdered him in cold blood. Why did you do that? Why did you murder him?" Ianto asks confused as to how Gray could be so cold about killing this Captain Jack Harkness.

"Stop panicking Mr Jones. Your lover will be just fine. Give it a little time and he will be back on form," Gray tells him.

Gray walks over to where Jack's lifeless body lays, face down on the floor. Securing his own weapon and then securing Jack's Webbly which is laying on the floor, Gray struggles to get his big brothers lifeless body off of the floor and into the chair opposite Ianto. Once Jack's body is in the chair, Gray puts the restraints on him.

"What the hell are you doing? It's not as though he is going to get up and walk out of here. He's bloody dead," Ianto tells him, very confused now.

Gray refuses to answer him as he knows full well the truth about Jack. Ianto knew the truth too, he had just wiped it from his memory.

"Are you ignorant as well as a cold hearted murderer?" Ianto asks, pulling at his restraints.

"For goods sake Ianto Jones. Did you hen peck him so much? Is that why he Retconed you because I think I might have if I were him," Gray tells him turning around to look at Ianto.

"You seriously have a problem other than you fact that you are totally nuts. You have me confused with someone else," Ianto tells him, looking at Gray with a look that almost dared him to answer him.

"And how have you worked that one out?" Gray asks him, standing face to face with Ianto.

"You say that I am the lover of this Captain Jack Harkness. There is a couple of problems with that. I am not gay. I have never even thought about a man that way. And this Captain Harkness, I have never heard of him and I have never met him. You talk to me about Torchwood like I should have a bloody clue about it which I can assure you that I don't. You have got me mixed up with someone else and I think you should let me go. You have already killed someone and you are just digging a deeper hole for yourself," Ianto tells him with a dead serious look on his face.

Ianto was certain of what you was saying as Gray stands there and just smiles at him. Ianto thought that this guy was just absolutely crazy. He had to get out of there before he decided to kill him too. Ianto fights against the restraints around his wrists but they weren't shifting no matter how hard he tried.

"Your not going to get out of those Mr Jones so there is no point trying. You'll just hurt yourself," Gray tells him, looking at him smugly knowing that he was right. Ianto wouldn't be able to get out of them.

"You expect me to sit here, across from a dead man you have restrained to a chair even though he is dead and listen to this crap that you are spouting about me but isn't true?" Ianto asks him, becoming more and more angry now, replacing the scared that he was before.

"Your really not getting this are you Ianto Jones. That man there," Gray starts pointing at Jack who was sat in the chair, restrained, head hanging forward and lifeless, "Might be dead now but in a few more minutes, will be resurrected, against his own will but resurrected never the less. He was your boss up until recently when for some unknown reason, you were giving the alien drug Retcon which wiped a whole 5 years from your memory. Your didn't just work for him though, you were his lover, his companion and right hand man. You worked in a secret, non government owned organisation called Torchwood that deals day to day with a rift in time and space in Cardiff and also combats alien threats to the UK. You have been there for just over 4 years, working every day, saving the world, fighting aliens, solving problems and anything else you were asked to do," Gray tries to explain to Ianto.

"And your not getting it either. I have never been with a man, never kissed one, never slept with a man. I have never seen that guy before in my life let alone been his lover. I have never been involved with any secret organisation called Torchwood in Cardiff. Yes, Lisa worked in Torchwood London but when she died in the battle of Canary Warf, that was the end of my involvement with any Torchwood. The only aliens I have ever come across were Cybermen and Daleks and that was in the battle of Canary Warf and half of the world came across them and I have no idea what this rift thing is. I think that you need professional help but not until you have served some time at Her Majesty's leisure. Your crazy," Ianto tells him, staring right at Gray.

Gray just looked at Ianto smiling. He knew the truth and soon, Ianto would come to know the truth too. Ianto and Gray simply stared at each other and then there was a loud, long gasp as though someone hadn't been able to breath and then all of a sudden, had. Ianto's focus turn immediately to Jack who was sat up straight and looking straight at him. Ianto's mouth feel open as he saw the stranger looking right at him and breathing.

"I told you Mr Jones. Just a little time," Gray tells Ianto but he wasn't listening.

"What the hell is going on. You were dead. I'm going to wake up any second now. This is just a night mare. Is this a joke or something? Is someone playing a cruel joke on me? Let me out of here. Let me out of here now," Ianto shouts really struggling against the restraints now.

"Calm down Ianto," Jack tells him as he sees his lover struggling so hard.

"Yes Ianto. Calm down. You are going to give yourself a stroke or heart attack the way your going and I haven't finished with you yet," Gray tells him.

"Your both nuts. I want out of here. You drug me and kidnap me putting me here and then you pretend that you are here to rescue you me, pretend to get shot, pretend to die and then pretend to come back to life. I think you both need some serious help now let me go," Ianto shouts at them.

"Please calm down Yan. I can't bare to see you like this," Jack tells him, the look in his eyes and face saying it all and the Ianto stops at hearing Yan.

"No-one has called me Yan since Lisa. That was her name for me. How do you know that name?" Ianto asks him now focusing only on the stranger named Jack.

"That was my name for you when we were alone. I have been calling you Yan for a few years now," Jack smiles at Ianto trying not to let him see how much pain he had just suffered in resurrecting.

"No-one knows that name. Why would you know it and I have never met you before in my life?" Ianto tells Jack, his face screwed up in confusion.

"You do know me, you just can't remember even though I wish with all my heart you could remember," Jack's face changing, sorrow now creeping over ever inch of his face.

"Ok. I am going to have to stop you there before I am sick and I have other things to do, other people to torture," Gray tells them and they both look at him.


	20. Chapter 20

The Team Isn't Coming Jack.

A projection appears on the wall behind Gray and at first, it is blank. Ianto looks at Jack but Jack's focus was on Gray and the projection. He looked curiously at Jack, the blood still evident on Jack's shirt, the beads of sweat still on Jack's forehead. He then focuses on Gray too.

"If you are under the assumption brother, that your precious Torchwood team are going to arrive at the last minute and save you both, you can think again. I think that they might have escaping issues of their own," Gray tells him and actual pictures come onto the projection.

"As you can see, Gwen is trapped all on her own and Toshiko and Owen have each other but also trapped. They are in the same situation as you are two are in. They are sealed in huge rooms with no way of escape with bombs scattered around the room and a clock counting the bombs down," Gray tells Jack with a manic smile on his face as though he were processed.

Jack watches helplessly as Gwen hammers on the door, Toshiko tries the alien device on the door for the second time and Owen thrashes angrily at one of the shuttered windows.

"Why are you doing this Gray? Why do it to them? It's me you want to hurt so hurt me," Jack barks at him.

"This is the perfect revenge for all those years I was locked up, terrified, scared, hoping that you would come and get me, praying that someone would rescue me and it never happening. All the years of pain and torture so now Jack, now brother dearest, it's my turned. I am going to put you through as much pain as I was in and torture you for the rest of your life however long that is. I am going to kill your time. Dr Owen Harper, the tough one who always puts everyone back together again but aches everyday for the two women he lost. Toshiko Sato, the shy, unconfident but genius technical wizard. Former PC Gwen Cooper, the caring one who cares so much about everybody that she lies to and cheats on her long term boyfriend and last but not least and this one is the best on. Ianto Jones, loyal, faithful and your lover and the only one of your team you would truly die for and the only one who would truly follow you to the gates of hell and beyond," Gray smiles.

Jack looks at the projection and watches his team, lonely, desperate, terrified and frantically trying to get out and he looks at the clock briefly.

**56 minutes. **

* * *

"It's not working Tosh so just quit it. No matter how much you try that, it isn't getting us anywhere is it?" Owen asks your aggressively and she just looks at him.

"Sorry. I was trying to do something," she tells him, returning the device to her pocket and looking down to the ground.

Owen sees that he had hurt her and he hadn't meant to. He was just frustrated at them being caught and trapped.

"I'm sorry Tosh. I know you mean well and that you trying everything you can to get us out of here and I'm sorry I bit your dead off," he tells her as he walks towards her and puts his arm around her shoulder.

"I'm scared Owen. That isn't the way I was supposed to die. I am meant to be old and grey when I die not young," Tosh tells him, tears running from her eyes and she doesn't have the will to stop them, what was the point.

"I'm scared too Tosh but I know that Jack will get us out of this, he always does Tosh," Owen tells her, wiping her tears from her face.

"He is looking for Ianto and he has no idea we are trapped. It will be too late by the time he figures out that we are missing," Tosh tells Owen, walking away from his arm and further into the room.

"He will find us Tosh. I just know he will," Owen tells her following her.

"It's all about to end and you act as though nothings really wrong. There are bombs on the wall, we can't get out because the room is as secure as Fort Knoks and our boss doesn't even know that we are in trouble. We are going to die Owen, both of us. I have so much I wanted to do, so much I wanted to say and now I can't," Tosh tells him as he tries to put his arm around her again to comfort her but she turns to face him instead, her tears still flowing.

"What is it that you want to do, want to say?" Owen asks her taking hold of one of her hands, holding it tightly.

"It doesn't matter Owen," she tells him looking away from him.

"It does matter Tosh. I matters to you so it does matter," he tells her, pulling her closer to him as he wipes her tears away again and she turns into his touch.

"Your going to think that I am stupid Owen so I would rather not," she tells him but not moving from his touch and he flattens his hand on her cheek.

"I don't ever think your stupid Tosh. I know what you want to say, I know what you feel, I have done for a while now so just say it Tosh," Owen tells her, still holding her hand, still with his hand on the side of her face and now looking into her eyes.

Toshiko's heart beat faster , her mouth becoming dry, her legs becoming weak. She looks into his eyes, her words trying to leave her mouth, her mouth failing her for once. There is so much she wants to say but she just couldn't.

"Tell me Tosh. There is no-one here but you and me and this might be the last time you get to say it to me," he tells her, moving a little closer to her.

"I….I…..I," Tosh starts but she can't get in out.

"You like me," Owen replies, helping her out.

She looks away from him but uses his hand that is on her cheek, to turn her face back to him.

"Say it Tosh. You like me," he tells her, moving a little closer still.

"I like you Owen, always have, even when you are being cruel to me," she tells him finally, breathing a sigh of relief.

"I know you like me and I like you too Tosh. I was always afraid to say anything, you being much more intelligent than I and that is why I was always so nasty to you," Owen tells her as she looks up at him.

"Why Owen? Why did you never say anything to me?" she asks him with gentle eyes.

"Does it really matter now Tosh? We now know how we both feel," he tells her.

He leans into her and kisses her lips so gently, so unlike him.

* * *

Gwen is going from window to window, trying to get one of the shutters of, even just slightly.

"I have to get out of here. I need to help Jack find Ianto. I need to go home to my husband and tell him I love him. Come away from the wall you damn shutter," Gwen shouts, hitting the shutters.

She hit it again and again until her hand hurt and she stopped.

"Why didn't I say goodbye to Rhys this morning? I should of made the time. I should have stopped at the bedroom door, I should have gone to his side and woken him up. I should have kissed him and told him I love him. I should have told him that there was no-one else for me and that I was so happy to be his girlfriend," Gwen tells herself as she paced the room.

She goes around the room a few times and then sits on the floor, her back against the metal door. She puts her head on her hands and cries.

"I should never had started work at Torchwood. I should have stayed with the Police and I should have never followed Jack. If I hadn't have followed Jack, I would be at work, working a shift and then back home and having tea with Rhys, curling up on the sofa and then maybe the pub or bed. Oh Rhys. What have I done. I have lied to you about work, I had an affair and then drugged you after I was selfish enough to tell you and I endanger myself and now, now I won't be coming home and you won't know why," Gwen sobs out loud.

* * *

Jack turned to Gray.

"Let them go Gray. It's me your angry at so let them go. You don't have to do this," Jack tells him, horror in his face and eyes. Tears streaming down his face.

"What is going on? I know I'm missing something here?" Ianto asks, his confusion one step away from turning to madness.

"Why don't you explain it Jack but keep it short. Your running out of time," Gray points out on the clock. **43 minutes.**

"He has trapped the rest of the team. Owen, Tosh and Gwen. He is planning on killing them to but why Gray?" He asks, half explaining to Ianto.

"Because you let me go, you didn't look after me like dad asked you to and I went through years of torture because of you so I am just rolling all those years into one and giving it to you all at once. Your friends, your colleagues and your lover. Everyone gone Jack. I can't destroy you in body but I can destroy everything else about you Jack, your heart, your soul and mind. Revenge Jack. Revenge is the name of this. Now, if you will excuse me. I really don't want to be here when that clock reaches zero," Gray tells them and goes over to Jack.

"Bye Jack. Have a good life brother," he tells him and kisses him on the forehead.

He then walks over to Ianto and wipes some blood off of his face. "Nice to meet you Ianto Jones," he says and leaves for the door.

"Don't do this Gray. Let them go. You don't have to do this. You won't be able to live with yourself if you do this," Jack shouts, trying his hardest to get Gray to release everyone.

"No Jack. You won't be able to live with yourself. It's surprising what I have grown to live with now use the little time you have left together wisely. For one of you, it will be your last few minutes," Gray tells them, opening the door and closing it behind them.

Ianto and Jack both hear something bleeping and then a huge slamming noise by the door. They were sealed in. No way of escape. Jack turns to Ianto and the familiar Welshman is looking right at him.

"Do I look familiar to you Yan? Is there anything about me that rings the smallest bell in your head?" Jack asks him, looking deeply at the young man sat across from him, looking at him with confusion.

The room goes quiet and the two of them, just look at one another.


	21. Chapter 21

Revelations And Awakenings.

Ianto tilts his head to the side as he looks at Jack.

"What is it? What do you remember?" Jack asks him, almost scaring Ianto with the sudden question.

"I don't…I don't think I remember anything," Ianto tells him, not sure of what was running through his head.

"Tell me and I might be able to help you," he tells him, eager for him to remember something, remember him.

"I'm not sure myself. I think…..I think I have seen your eyes before," Ianto tells him, looking into Jack's eyes as he wasn't that far away from him.

"Why do you remember my eyes? Think. Where have you seen them before?" Jack asks him.

"Stopping pushing me. I don't know you so don't think that you can order me around," Ianto tells him, glaring at him.

"There's that Ianto glare and that beautiful feistiness and sorry, about coming across that I was ordering you. I just really want you to remember. Remember who you are, how I am and what we mean to each other," Jack tells him and he screws his face up.

"Why don't you tell me something and if I am who everyone else says I am, something might click," Ianto tells him, still stuck on the fact that Jack's eyes seemed so familiar, those nice deep eyes.

"Ok. From the start. You came to me after Canary Warf. I would step out of the hub, the place where we worked and you would be stood outside waiting for me, with a cup of coffee in your hands to give me. Every morning with the coffee came the same question, could you work for me, for Torchwood Cardiff and every day, I would tell you the same thing. No. You were very persistent. Every morning, you were there, same lovely coffee and same question," Jack starts and he looks at Ianto who was actually listening to him, his beautiful eyes on Jack.

"You got tired of always asking me, bringing me coffee and getting nothing in return even when you told me that you would work for free and you would do anything," Jack starts again and Ianto stops him.

"Do I look nuts to you? Do I look stupid enough to work for nothing and hound a man, everyday and for what? To work for you?" Ianto asks Jack.

"You had an agenda but I didn't know it yet. You got tired of the same approach every day, not getting you anywhere so you called in something that you had found that wasn't exactly normal. I arrived and after a debate about you working for me, you showed me her. Myfanwy, the Pterodactyl. We caught her together, got a little close and that was the start of your career in Torchwood," Jack tells him.

"Hang on a sec, you just said Pterodactyl. Now if my childhood and schooling serves me right, a Pterodactyl is a dinosaur so extinct," Ianto tells him.

"We have one at the hub thanks to you. Myfanwy. You fed her every day. She lives in a little area at the top of the hub. She came through the rift and got stuck here," Jack tells him.

"How can there be a dinosaur on earth, a real live dinosaur?" Ianto asks him, very confused and not quite believing him.

"Bare with me Yan. I will explain," Jack starts and Ianto jumps in.

"Please stop calling me Yan. It's not my name, well, not for you to call me anyway," he tells him and Jack sighs.

Ianto used to like it when he called him Yan, usually when they were in bed together. Jack goes on to explain the rest of Ianto's life in Torchwood, including Gwen's first day, Lisa and the fact that the rest of the team killed her, Suzie's suicide and all the major events that Torchwood dealt with. Jack went through all the things that Ianto did on a daily basis and what his job title was and what it involved.

"Sounds like I am a glorified coffee boy and janitor? You've told me about my work life, what about my social life?" Ianto asks him.

"You are much more than a glorified coffee boy and janitor. You're the one who holds the rest of the team together. I can't really say much about your personal life as when you did in fact go home, you didn't really tell people what you go up to there but you like to read. I remember how happy you were when Toshiko got you some books for Christmas for your collection," Jack tells him.

"I do like to read, that is true but is that it? Is that all my personal life is? Reading?" he ask him.

"That's the only personal life I know about you outside of work. You do have a personal life in work, when everyone went home except you and me," Jack tells him, his heart sinking as he knew that Ianto didn't remember their love but still fighting the restraints behind him.

"Go on. Tell me. Everyone else has been saying it so you might as well," Ianto tells him and Jack looks at the clock. **32 minutes.**

"We were lovers. We loved each other but in different ways. You with all your heart but I was guarded, afraid to let you in. I treated you wrong and I regret it and have done for a few weeks now, since you walked away from me and Torchwood," Jack says keeping it the basics.

"I don't believe you," Ianto tells him.

"We slept together but that wasn't just all of it. Sometimes, we would just lay together in bed, holding each other, looking into each others eyes, stroking each others skin," Jack tells him, the memories of those nights burning in his mind.

"Looking into each others eyes?" Ianto asks. "Those eyes, his eyes. Is that where I know them from? Looking into his eyes whilst making love to him, holding him? It can't be true. Me and a man," Ianto thinks to himself as he looks into Jack's eyes.

"We spent a lot of time looking in each others eyes. We didn't need to talk, our eyes said it all," Jack tells him, the Welshman's features softening.

"Your eyes, I know them," Ianto tells him, not really believing it himself.

"Go on Yan. Remember," Jack tells him, not knowing what would happen when Ianto remembered.

Ianto looks at him as his mind shatters. His head feels like it is breaking apart. All of a sudden, his mind starts to fill with flashes, pictures, thoughts, feelings, memories. Things were coming back to him but it hurt, it hurt so much. Ianto screams out in pain. No-one had ever had 5 years wiped from their memories and then had them brought back, all at once.

**"YAN,"** Jack shouted and some how, Jack managed to move his chair closer to Ianto's.

"It hurts Jack. It hurts so much," Ianto shouts, his head hurting like never before.

"Stay with me Yan. Stay with me," Jack tells him, putting his leg against Ianto's, letting him know he was there, leaning forward as far as he could go without dislocation both his shoulders in the process. If he had of known how much it would hurt Ianto, he wouldn't have pushed him.

"Why Jack? Why did you make me remember? It hurts so much. My head, my heart, my soul," Ianto asks him.

"I'm sorry Yan. I didn't know it would hurt you. I'm so sorry," Jack tells him, pulling against the restraints, wanting to get to his love, comfort him, hold him and kiss him.

Ianto passes out with the pain and his head flops forward.

**"YAN,"** Jack screams.


	22. Chapter 22

Time Is Almost Up.

Toshiko and Owen sit together, arms holding onto each other, kisses exchanged but only few of them but enough for Tosh. They glance at the clock, watching the time ticking away, coming closer to the end. Their final few minutes.

"I'm sorry that I was so nasty to you all those times. I really didn't mean to be. I was just," a pause and then Owen looks at Tosh again, "scared I suppose. I was the ladies man and I was suppose to behave a certain way. When I lost Diane, I saw you. You always had a smile for no matter how nasty I was being to you. Forgive me Tosh for being so stupid, for wasting what little time we had left and for being an arse. I should have told you sooner Tosh," Owen tells her, holding her hand and then kissing her soft, swollen lips.

"It's ok Owen. At least we said it before it was too late. I'm glade we are together at the end and I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else," she tells him, a slim smile on her face as he looks into Owens eyes, seeing the fear inside.

"I want to hold you Tosh when the time is up," Owen tells her and she smiles again.

He pulls her close and she sits in between his legs, his arms around her and she holds onto his arms, his chin on her shoulder.

"It will be alright Tosh. Jack will get us out," he tells her, trying to convince her as much as himself as he kisses her cheek.

They both look at the clock. **26 minutes.**

* * *

Gwen is sat on the floor, back still against the door, tears flowing down her face and looking at her mobile. She had been trying to call Rhys for the last few minutes but her mobile kept cutting out. There was something here that was stopping her mobile from working. There was no signal, no way of calling out or sending messages. Gwen knew that she would be found at some point but after it was all over. She goes to messages and she begins to write a message.

"Rhys,

I am so sorry that I didn't say goodbye this morning and work shouldn't have been the priority, you should have been, you should be. I'm sorry that I never tell you about work stuff and that it always seems to get in the way of us. I should have made more time together and I shouldn't have let work come between us. We have been together too long for anything and anyone to come between us. I love you Rhys, with all my heart. Gwen."

She saved it to her draughts as she couldn't send it anywhere but at least it would be on her phone to be found and given to Rhys to read. She cried as she placed it in her pocket and hoped it wouldn't get too damaged. She looks up at the clock. **26 minutes.**

* * *

Jack looks at Ianto as he beings to stir.

"Yan. Ianto. Are you ok?" he asks him and Ianto slows lifts his head up, pain on his face.

"I don't know about ok but I am here Jack," Ianto tells him, tears in his eyes.

"Thank god," Jack simply replies.

"No Jack. Not thank god. I am here as in all of me, memories and all. I didn't want to remember Jack. That's why I took the big step to Retcon myself. Why did you make me remember Jack? What for? So I can die the old Ianto instead of the new Ianto? You really are selfish," Ianto tells him.

"Your not going to die here. You are going to die and old man and with me," Jack starts but Ianto butts in.

"Stop Jack. Just stop. They are all empty words that I have heard before. If we should get out of this by the grace of god, we will just go back to the way we were before and I deserve better than that so don't waste what little time I have left talking about shit that won't happen Jack," Ianto tells him, looking away from Jack and to the projection of Owen, Tosh and Gwen.

"See Jack. You end up destroying us all in the end. Suzie shot herself in the head, I Retconed myself, Gwen is ripping herself part because she won't see Rhys again and Tosh and Owen, have just realised that they feel the same about each other but to later for them to do anything about it now and this is all your fault Jack. Yours and no-one else's," Ianto tells him, looking back at him.

"Yan, why are you being so mean? I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Jack tells him, tears in his eyes, his heart breaking.

"You never mean it Jack but it still happens. I left Torchwood, left you and you just couldn't leave it and I ended up having to Retcon myself, losing 5 years of my life but you didn't mean for that either did you?" Ianto asks him, a serious look on his face.

"I know that that was my fault Yan and I am sorry for that. I just could leave you alone. I came into work expecting you to be there and you weren't there. The hub was so empty without you in it. I would lay awake at night and think about you, think about the times we shared together, think about what you were doing now and aching for you all the while," Jack confesses to him.

"Don't Jack. We had this conversation some many times before and it always ended the same. I would wake up the next morning after making love and you were gone, again. I would want to spend time with you and you would shut me down, push me away and I couldn't take it anymore. I took a lot for me to be with you Jack. I had only ever been with Lisa, long term anyway. You can't possibly know how hard it was for me to admit that I had feelings for you, a man and then you abuse the way I felt," Ianto tells him as Jack listens but still fighting the restraints.

"I know Ianto and I am sorry. I was afraid to let you in, to know me. To see who I really am. I was afraid for you to love me and for me to love you but I'm not afraid anymore Ianto. I love you. I love you with all that I have and I will admit it to everyone. I love you Ianto Jones and I can't be without you. I just hope it's not too late for us to be together," Jack tells Ianto, moving his chair closer to him.

"Don't Jack. I can't fall for you all over again, I just can't. It hurts too much when you walk away from me and I can't go through that again Jack. My heart can't take it anymore," Ianto tells him, a single tear running from his eye and down his cheek.

"I'm never going to walk away from you again Ianto. I will never hide anything from you again and I will always be there. I love you Ianto Jones like I haven't loved anyone in a while. I want to spend the rest of your life with you until you are old and grey. I want us to have a family, children, the house, everything that goes with being a couple," Jack tells him.

"Even if I could except that, we haven't the time left Jack. It isn't on our side," Ianto tells him, sorrow filling his heart, looking at the man he loved and knowing he couldn't touch him or hold him, no matter how much he wanted to, was aching to.

"Kiss me Ianto," Jack tells him and leans forwards, as far as he can lean.

Ianto leans forward and their lips touch in a gentle kiss.


	23. Chapter 23

Final Moments.

Owen and Toshiko sit in each others, holding each other close as though they had been together for a while. Owen stroked Toshiko's hair as she rested her head against Owens chest. They both watched as the clock was ticking down. Not long to go now. 3 minutes and 34 seconds.

"I wish we had more time together," Tosh tells Owen, holing his hand tightly in hers.

"I know. This shouldn't be it. It shouldn't be this way," Owen tells her, holding her a little closer and looking down at her.

"Do you think it will be quick?" Tosh asks him, looking up him.

"With the amount of bombs here, I should have thought so Tosh, sorry for being so blunt," he tells her, still looking down at her.

"I wonder if Jack has managed to find Ianto and if he has, has he gotten him out or is he in trouble too?" she asks him, taking her mind off of what was going to happen any minute.

"Jack can look after himself, he always does and has probably found Ianto. I wonder if Gwen is alright?" he asks and Tosh frowns at him.

"I didn't mean it like that Tosh. I just wonder if she is trapped like us or if she is on the outside," he tells her and she loses her frown.

"I hope she isn't. I hope that she is free and that some of us make it out of here," she tells him, biting her lip as she knew what Owen and Gwen had had in the past and she was jealous of that.

"It's been really great knowing you Tosh and pity that we didn't tell each other how we felt sooner. We could have had fun," Owen tells her and kisses her on the forehead.

"Don't you dare say goodbye Owen. Don't say it," Tosh tells him, tears falling ever so slowly from her red, sore eyes.

"Don't cry Tosh. Please don't cry," he tells her and lifts her head a little so he could see into her eyes.

He kisses her again but this on the lips, softly and holds her close, knowing that the time would soon come.

They hold each other so close as the time ticks away. 1 minute, 5 seconds.

"I love you Dr Owen Harper," she tells him, holding onto him tight, watching clock count down.

58, 57, 56,55.

"I love you too Toshiko Sato," Owen tells her, a tear running from his eye, watching the clock tick away.

44, 43, 42, 41.

"Don't cry Owen. It will be alright. We are here together," Tosh tells him, wiping the tear away.

32, 31, 30, 29.

They held each other, Owen almost wrapping his legs her as she shook in his arms, the whole of her shaking as she watched the clock.

14, 13, 12, 11.

"See you on the other side," Owen tells her, he couldn't think of anything better to say as she closes her eyes.

4, 3, 2, 1, 0.

* * *

Gwen was sat in the same place, her body so tired, her head sore and her eyes even more sore.

"Damn you Harkness. Where the hell are you? I swear I am going to come back and haunt you arse," she says out loud smiling to herself but then the smile faded and the tears came again, each one stinging her face as it follows the same track the last did.

45, 44, 43, 42.

She puts her hands together and starts to pray.

"Dear God,

I know that I'm not a religious person and the only time I seem to be in church is for wedding, funerals and christenings but I need you now. Please God, I need you to look after Rhys for me. When he knows what has happened to me, it will destroy his world so I need you to keep an eye on him, he will need your help.

I know you that this is pushing it but can you also keep an eye on Owen, Ianto and Tosh as well. They are my friends and they will need an eye keeping out on them. Jack you can kick in the butt but he might need the smallest of eyes keeping on him. Please do me this favour. None of this is their faults and if Gray should come knocking on your door anytime soon, please send him to hell. Well I think it is about time now so I have better stop talking to you and face the music," she prays and then looks up at the clock.

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.

* * *

Jack and Ianto pull away from each other and as they do, the sound of snapping rings through the room and echo's.

"What was that?" Ianto asks as Jack brings his arms from behind him.

"I broke the restraints," Jack tells him holding his arms out with what looks like strange handcuffs hanging off of his wrists.

"Get me out of here Jack. Don't leave me here," Ianto shouts at him as Jack gets off of the chair and looks at one of the bombs without touching it.

Ianto looks at the clock.

1 minute and 42 seconds.

"Jack. We are running out of time and I can't get out of the restraints," Ianto tells him, horror filling every corner of his voice as he talks.

Jack runs over to Ianto and behind his chair to see the restraints around Ianto's wrists.

"How long do we have?" Jack asks him as he pulls at the restraints.

"Aw Jack. That hurts," Ianto tells him and looks at the clock.

"We have 1 minutes 34 seconds yet. Hurry. Please Jack. Get me out of here," Ianto begs him.

"I'm trying but these are almost damn impossible to open," Jack tells him struggling to open them, Ianto's harder than Jack's to get off as Gray had put them on differently.

"Please Jack. I don't want to die. I want the life you talked about. A future, kids, the house, the wheelchair races when we are old and grey," Ianto tells him, the tears flowing freely from both of them.

"I'm trying. I am really trying," Jack tells him looking at the clock, still counting down.

1 minute 12 seconds.

"I might be able to get them off but it might hurt a little," Jack warms him as it is going to take some brut force from Jack against the restraints.

"I don't care how much it hurts as long as we get out of here," Ianto tells him, his eye still on the clock.

They were now into seconds. 52, 51, 50.

Then the pain comes. Ianto can feel Jack pulling against the restraints, Jack bracing himself against the back of the chair with his foot. Jack was trying to snap the restraints like he done with his but Ianto's were proving a little more difficult then his own.

43, 42, 41, 40.

"Hurry Jack," Ianto shouts, not caring about the pain but feeling it still.

Jack looks at the restraints. The link that Jack was pulling at was starting to bend but not as fast as he want it too. This was going to be close to the wire but if he got Ianto out, he didn't care about himself, he was immortal after all but Ianto wasn't and he couldn't lose him for good.

"I'm nearly there Yan. Just a little more and you will be free but when you are, we have to run, run to the corner furthest away from us," Jack warns him.

"We can't get out Jack," Ianto states but Jack had worked that out already. He was going to use himself as a shield to shield Ianto from the blast. It would surely kill him but shield Ianto from the worst of it.

"I know Yan. I have a plan but do you trust me?" Jack asks him loosening the restraints even more.

"I trust you with my life," Ianto replies and then realises, that is exactly what he was talking about.

23, 22, 21, 20.

"Ianto. I love you," Jack tells him, hoping to god that he would be able to tell Ianto after.

"I love you too Jack. Always have," Ianto tells him knowing that he was telling him just in case he didn't make and that was worse.

15, 14, 13, 12.

The link Jack was working on finally gave way enough for Jack to separate the restraints so Ianto could move. Jack grabs Ianto's hand and almost pulls him away from the chair.

"RUN," Jack barks and Ianto follows him to a corner that didn't have too many bombs around it.

They duck down in the corner with Ianto in the corner and Jack in front of him, shielding him.

6, 5, 4.

Jack leans into Ianto and kisses him and Ianto kisses him back.

2, 1, 0.


	24. Chapter 24

Aftermath.

Alarms starting going off, big red numbers flashed in the room and smoke came from what they thought were bombs and then nothing. Silence. Nothing. Owen and Toshiko open their eyes. They were still in the room, still alive, nothing had happened. They both breathed a sigh of relief but then they realised that they were still sealed in but as they thought it, they heard the lock in the big, heavy metal door open. Owen gets up first and then helps Toshiko to her feet.

"Was that it? Nothing happened. Is this some kind of big practical joke?" Toshiko asks him as she straightens herself up and brushes off the dust.

"I have no idea Tosh, really I don't. I think we should get out of here before something does happen though," Owen tells her and she nods her head at him.

He takes her by the hand and they walk to the metal door and Owen opens the it. A gust of fresh air hits them and it never felt so good. Owen pulls Tosh out of the building and out onto the clear area where his car was still stood. He pulled her so fast that she almost left her shoes behind.

"Slow down Owen. I can't go that fast," she almost begs him, unable to keep with his fast pace.

He turns to see her struggling so he close down.

"Sorry Tosh. I just wanted to get us as far away from that place as soon as possible," he tells her and smiles at her.

They make it to the car and Owen unlocks the doors and gets in. Tosh doesn't. She pulls her PDA out of her pocket and her earpiece and she puts it in. She taps away on her PDA, on a mission to find Jack. Owen opens the passenger door.

"Are you getting in?" he asks her leaning over the passenger seat.

She turns to look at him and after a second or two, gets into the car, closes the door and buckles up.

"Have you found him yet?" Owen asks her and she knew who he meant.

"I have a faint trace," she tells him and then his SatNav comes up with directions, thanks to Tosh. Owen starts the car and throws it into gear, moving away from the derelict industrial estate that they were on.

Owen follows the directions that Tosh had put his SatNav while Toshiko works on her PDA. She hasn't said a word since they got into the car and he glances over to her.

"Are you ok Tosh?" he asks her putting his hand on her knee but she moves her knee away, further to the door and doesn't answer him.

"What's wrong Tosh?" he asks her putting his hand on the steering wheel again.

"I'm trying to find Gwen, Ianto and Jack," she tells him, her voice very cold and matter of fact and then her PDA bleeps.

"What does that mean?" Owen asks her, looking at her, just avoiding another car.

"I found Gwen," Toshiko replies, still coldly.

* * *

Alarms started going off, big red numbers flashed in the room and smoke came from the things that she thought were bombs and then nothing. Silence. Nothing. Gwen opened her eyes and began to cry. She was still in the room but she was alive. Uninjured and alive. She felt something against her back and she heard the lock open in the metal door behind her. She got up off of the floor and, even bothering to dust herself off, she opens the door and flies out of the room and out into the fresh air.

She sank to her knees as she realised that she was free, free and alive. She started crying again as she pulls her mobile out. She goes to contacts and when she reaches the right number, she presses dial. It takes a minute for the other person to answer but they do.

"Hello Gwen," he answers.

"Hello Rhys. I can't really chat but I wanted to tell you that I love you," she tells him so glad to hear his voice.

"Not that I am complaining but where did that come from?" he asks her.

"Having a bad day at work and realised that I didn't tell you enough that I love you," she tells Rhys.

"Ok sweetie. I have to go now but will I see you later?" he asks her.

"You will and I shouldn't be too late. I will give you a call later though," she tells him and almost puts a smile on her face.

"Ok sweetie. See you later then Gwen," Rhys tell her and hangs up.

She puts her mobile back in her pocket and picks herself up off of the floor. Keeping as far away as possible from the building she had just been trapped in, Gwen makes her way down the side of the building to where her car was still stood, no-one or nothing around. She hurried across the open space and made it to her car. Still shaking, Gwen gets her car keys out and unlocks the car door and she gets inside.

When she is belted up and put her keys in her ignition, the PDA in her pocket started to bleep. She pulls it out and looks at it and then she remembers her earpiece so she gets it out and puts it on.

"Gwen. Gwen. Can you hear me?" Tosh asks over the earpiece.

"Loud and clear Tosh. Are you two ok?" she asks and there is a pause before Toshiko replies.

"We are alive if that's what you mean," she replies briefly looking at Owen.

"Have you found Jack or Ianto yet?" she asks, starting the car.

"I think I have. It is only a weak signal but I think it's Jack," Toshiko tells her and then Gwen's SatNav starts to give her instructions.

"Thanks Tosh. I will meet you two there," Gwen tells them and then drives away from the building with severe relief.

* * *

Jack comes around the feels pain like never before. This time coming back had been more painful than normal. The next thing he felt was cold and wet. While he had been dead, the heavens had opened and it had started to rain. His whole body ached as he lifted his head and then he realised. He was outside. Outside of the building where he and Ianto had been.

**"IANTO!"** he shouted as he realised where was.

There was no reply so Jack, slowly but surely got to his feet. His whole body ached, no, more than ached, hurt. Near where he had been laid, Jack saw a large enough hole through the wall and Jack stepped through it. Unbeknown to him, in the blast, Jack had been thrown through the wall and outside. Jack is careful walking through the rubble, so much rubble. There wasn't much of the building left. Most of the external walls were left but the inside, had gone.

"Ianto. Ianto. Where are you?" Jack shouts as he walks through the rubble, his eyes saw from the dust still flying around, still disorientated from the blast but he couldn't hear anything.

"Ianto. Make a noise. Do something to show me where you are," Jack almost orders, worried that Ianto hadn't replied to him.

Jack searched the rubble for any sign of Ianto. He couldn't see, his eyes watering and the air thick with dust. And then he saw it, in the corner where he and Ianto had been. A hand sticking out of the rubble. Jack ran over and as soon as he came up close, he saw Ianto's face. Blood all over it, bruising and dirt. Jack frantically digs his lover free from the rubble, Ianto not making a sound or movement.

"Ianto. Ianto say something," Jack begs him as he removes the last of the rubble off of Ianto.

Jack checks for Ianto's pulse as a large piece of rubble falls behind him, a few feet away.

"A pulse. I feel a weak pulse," Jack thinks to himself, the rain now falling on Ianto's face, washing away some of the blood and dirt and still, no sound, no movement.

Even though Jack was hurting from his unexpected trip through the wall, he puts one arm under Ianto's knees and the other under Ianto's shoulders and lifts him out of the rubble, Ianto's arms flopping past his side. Another sizable piece of rubble falls from the explosion ravaged building and smashes to the ground and erupts into smaller pieces, bouncing off of the floor.

"I'm going to get you out of here Ianto. Everything is going to be ok," Jack tells him, hoping he could hear him.

Jack steps through a gap in one of the walls, careful not to hit Ianto's head or feet off of the wall as he carried him through it. Jack steps out as the rain falls down on them, Jack looking at the unconscious body of Ianto, tears falling as fast as the rain. As he steps towards the black SUV, two other cars race towards him and screech to a holt next to the SUV.

Owen, Tosh and Gwen jump out of their vehicles and run towards Jack as the pain and the weight of Ianto become too much for him and he crashes to his knees still holding him in his arms. He sits him on the ground but doesn't let go of him, holding him close as the rest of the team arrive.

"Owen help him. I can't lose him now," Jack cries as the team look at there leader, cradling his unconscious lover in his arms, blood all over both of them.


	25. Chapter 25

I apologise but I only have limited understanding of medical terms and treatments so if something isn't right, (any doctors or nurses reading this) then I apologise. Sorry for the spelling too. My spell checker doesn't like medical words. Angelwood.

You Can't Leave Me Now.

Owen kneels down next to Ianto and Jack. He feels for a pulse and finds a very weak on. He listens to Ianto's breathing and it very slow and shallow.

"We have to get him to hospital now Jack. Give me the SUV keys," Owen tells him with concern on his face so the team knows it is serious as Owen only had that face if it was really serious.

Jack fumbles in his coat pocket, still holding Ianto in his arms. He passes the keys to Owen and he gets up and goes to the SUV and opens it, coming back to give Gwen his car keys.

"Lock both cars. Jack, you get Ianto into the back with Ianto and I will join you. Gwen, your driving and Tosh, in front with Gwen and clear the way," Owen orders taking charge and every obeys him.

Gwen locks the cars as instructed and then gets into the drivers seat of the SUV, removing the keys off of the seat first. Owen opens the door for Jack as he gets to his feet, holding Ianto and carries him to the back door. Owen gets in and slides to the other side of the car as Jack gently puts Ianto in the car and then gets in. Tosh shuts the door and gets in the front and as soon as her door is shut, Gwen starts the SUV and floors it, leaving hers and Owens cars where they were. That was the least of their problems.

"Gwen. Get us there as fast as possible," Owen tells her and she looks in the rear view mirror and sees the look on his face and she can see that it isn't good.

"I have alerted the hospital and they are standing by and ready to receive Ianto. They have a theatre standing by, staffed and ready. I informed them that his own doctor would be in attendance and that you were lead for Ianto's care," Tosh tells Owen from the front of the car and he reaches forward and puts his hand on her shoulder and she shrugs it off.

* * *

They arrive at the A&E entrance of The Cardiff Royal and the doctors and nurses are waiting for them, ready with a trolley. Toshiko had been keeping them updated on Ianto's condition, giving them any info that they needed about him and advising them on his ETA (Estimated Time of Arrival). Gwen pulls right up to the entrance and as soon as she stopped the SUV, Jack throw the door open and got out. He gently lifts Ianto enough to get him out of the SUV and gently lays him on the trolley as Owen gets out of the SUV.

"This is Torchwood Officer, Ianto Jones. DOB is 19.8.83 so he is 25 years old. Caught in a bomb blast inside a building. Unconscious throughout with weak pulse, shallow breathing and no response to pain stimuli," Owen tells the doctors and nurses as they begin to take Ianto inside with Jack next to him.

"I'll park the SUV and then I will find you," Gwen shouts to Jack, standing on the SUV footplate and shouting over the roof of the SUV.

Jack just looks back at her, a more of a sideways glance and then disappears inside with Owen and Ianto. Gwen gets back in as Tosh gets out and follows Jack in, ready to answers the questions that were going to posed, questions that were always posed. Ianto is rushed to a resuscitation room where everyone was ready for him. Jack is about to go inside but Owen stops him.

"You can't go in there Jack. We need to work on Ianto, concentrate on him and it is easier if we don't have to work around you," Owen tells him, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"I need to be in there with Ianto, Owen. I need to be with him," Jack tells him, pushing against his hand.

"Jack. We need to help him. He needs you to stay out here so we can help him. I am with him and I will let you know what is going on, I promise," Owen tells him as Jack looks into his eyes.

"Save him Owen. I lost him once and I can't lose him again," Jack tells him, tears filling his eyes.

"You stay here," Owen tells him and disappears into the resus room.

Jack watches through the window as Owen cleans his hands with gel and then goes to Ianto and takes charge. Jack watches as the doctors, nurses and Owen become like a swarm, running backwards and forwards, fetching equipment, taking blood away to be tested. Every now and again, he hears what they are saying.

"We need to get him to the MRI," a Doctor requests.

"He isn't stable enough for the MRI," Owen replies.

"Portable Ultrasound and X-ray please," the Doctor orders

"X-ray first," Owen replies.

Jack watches as X-rays are taken of Ianto who was still unconscious and then he is intubated. Jack puts his hand on the window as Ianto's unconscious body is scanned and Owen goes to look at the images.

"Damn. He is bleeding internally, chest and abdomen. Fractured skull, broken ribs on both sides, punctured left lung, broken Humerus, Radius and Ulna of his right arm and broken Tibia and Fibula of his right leg," Owen shouts out after looking at the Ultrasound and x-ray.

"How the hell is he still alive?" one of the doctors asks Owen.

"Ianto is a fighter," Owen simply replies.

"Get pre meds on board, prepare him for surgery, call theatre and tell them we are on the way and we are going to need bloods, as much as they can spare. Bag him for transport," Owen orders and then turns to the door and sees Jack there, tears falling down his face.

Owen takes a deep breath, goes to the door and opens it as Jack steps back as Gwen and Tosh joins them.

"How is he?" Jack asks and then Owens face gives it away.

"He's not doing so good Jack. He has a lot of injuries and we having to rush him to theatre as he is losing a lot of blood. He has sever internal bleeding that we need to get under control never mind all the broken bones. They are getting him ready and then we have to hurry but Jack, prepare for Ianto not to make it," Owen tells him, putting his hand on Jack's arm, his eyes welling up telling Jack what he might not make it.

"You have to save him Owen. Do everything you have to," Jack tells him, his heart breaking, tears streaming down his face and Gwen puts her arm around him.

"You know I will do everything I can for Ianto but it might not be enough. He's in a really bad way," Owen tries to warn him again but Jack isn't excepting it.

The doors of the resus room opens and Ianto is wheeled out, hooked up to monitors, being bag fed air, drips and blood hanging from every point, surrounded by doctors and nurses.

"Ianto," Jack almost shouts and he runs to his side, trying to get hold of his hand but nurses getting in his way.

A nurse comes out with Ianto's clothes, cut from his body, folded in a neat pile.

"Who do I give these to Dr Harper?" the nurses calls to Owen.

"I'll take those," Gwen tells her taking Ianto's clothes off of her and smiling.

"Jack, you can only come with us as far as the theatre outer doors and no further. One of the nurses will show you to the observation deck so you can see what is going on," Owen tells him as he and Jack jog next to Ianto as he is taken to theatre.

"I'm sorry Dr Harper but the observation deck is only open to other doctors and for teaching purposes," one of the nurses tells him.

"They are going on the observation deck and that is final. Anyone has a problem with that, they can deal with me," Owen snaps back.

Seconds later, they arrive at doors of the theatre and Owen tells them to hold off a second as Gwen and Tosh catch up.

"Go on Jack," Owen tells him with a small smile knowing that Jack needed a few seconds with Ianto.

Jack takes his hand and leans into him and kisses him on the forehead as one of the nurses continues to bag feed him air.

"I'll be here Ianto. Do give up the fight and I love you," he whispers into Ianto's ear, a single, solemn tear runs from Jacks eye and then Ianto is almost torn out of his hand.

"Nurse, show them to the observation deck," Owen orders as Jack watches as Ianto is wheeled into the theatre, Owen following and then vanishes behind closed doors.


	26. Chapter 26

Once again, I have only basic knowledge of medical procedures so I apologise if I am wrong. Some scenes of blood and some swearing always, all from Owen. Angelwood.

He Needs A Miracle.

Jack, Gwen and Tosh are taken up to the observation deck by the nurse that Owen had order to take them up.

"You will able to see everything from here. There is an intercom on the wall and if you press the top button, you can hear what is going on," the nurse tells them as Jack rushes to the window.

"Thank you," Gwen tells her as the nurse turns to leave.

"I hope that your colleague pulls through," the nurse tells Gwen smiling as Jack almost punches the button on the intercom.

Jack watches as Ianto lays on the table, intubation cube in his mouth, Anaesthetist at Ianto's head making all the checks and making sure that Ianto was actually under and not just unconscious. People running around making sure that the doctors had all the implements that they would need. The scrub nurse helping Owen on with his mask as he enters that theatre, head to toe in green scrubs, making his way over to Ianto and the other doctors at Ianto's side.

Owen briefly looks up at Gwen and Tosh and then his attentions moves the Jack. His fearless leader looked so old, so tired, battered and bruised, holding his hand up to the window. Owen nods at Jack and then they start the procedure. Another doctor steps forward and puts a green sheet over Ianto's mostly bare torso with a section cut out of it.

A tray and a nurse comes to his side and she hands him a scalpel and he makes the first cut. All of a sudden, the green material is flooded with blood, running off of the side of Ianto's torso and onto the floor.

**"Shit,"** the doctor screams, **"Suction now,"** he barks and Owen grabs the suction devise and tries to clear out the wound as the blood carries on spilling out.

"Increase suction," Owen orders and within seconds, the bleeding seems more under control but it hasn't fully stopped.

The doctor who opened Ianto, gets two devices to open up the incision so he can see what has ruptured causing all the blood. Owen holds the suction device in place trying to stop the incision from filling with blood as the doctor tries to find the location of the bleed. The doctor finds it and then looks at Owen.

"Someone take over suction for Dr Harper please as I am going to need him to assist," the doctor tells him and a less senor doctor takes over from Owen and the doctor nods him closer.

"What's wrong?" Owen asks him seeing the concern in his eyes.

"Look," he simply says and Owen does.

"Oh god. Stitching kit now," Owen barks and looks up to Jack and then lowers his head.

The room almost explodes into action on Owens order.

"What's happening?" Tosh asks.

"I don't know but it doesn't look good," Gwen replies and then realises that Jack is crying, both hands on the glass now so she walks over to the intercom and presses the bottom button, working out what it did.

"What's wrong Owen?" she asks him over the intercom releasing the button afterwards.

"Not now Gwen," Owen replies not even looking up at her.

* * *

After half an hour, things seem to calm down and Owen steps away from the table and the scrubs nurse brings him a bottle of water with a straw in it and he tells her to talk the mask off. She does and he talks a drink of water from the straw. She is about to put the mask back on but he asks her for a minute and she takes her hand back.

"We have finished clearing up the first mess Jack and he is holding on in there but his heart is getting stressed and we haven't finished yet. We still have to sort the internal bleeding in his abdomen as well as all his broken bones so we aren't even half way through it yet Jack but he is still with us," Owen tries to reassure Jack but he knows it won't.

Owen gives the nurse a nod and she puts his mask back on and put his mask on. He goes back to Ianto and they are ready to make the second incision. The doctor nods to Owen and he nods back. There is a new green sheet over Ianto now in a new place. The doctor receives a new scalpel and makes the incision and this time, the blood doesn't just spill from the incision, it almost irrupts and covers Owen and the other doctor.

The less senor doctor dives in with the suction device again trying to clear the wound as it is clamped open but it just keeps filling as fast as it is drained. Owen puts his hand inside the incision and Tosh has to look away as he does it, blood spilling over Ianto and the floor, nurses frantically running around with paper towels covering the blood on the floor.

"Get another suction unit. I can't see a blooding thing in here," Owen barks, his fingers still inside Ianto feeling where the blood is coming from.

More suction arrives and the blood seems to slow down though it isn't. Owen gets a better look at what is going on inside the incision and finds various problems.

"A new stitching kit," Owen barks, holding onto a tear in a blood vessel.

When the kit arrives, Owen starts to stitch the section that he is holding and just as he thinks that he has done, there is another, bigger bleed. Owen gets a clamp from the nurse and tries to clamp it.

**"Shit,"** Owen shouts and as he does, alarms go of.

"He's in arrest," the Anaesthetist shouts and the room becomes a hive of activity.

"Get that bleed under control," the other doctor tells Owen.

"I'm bloody trying," Owen replies, sweat on his forehead as he tries to control the bleed.

"Full arrest," the Anaesthetist calls and Owen takes the clamp out.

**"Shit,"** Owen shouts and as he turns, he throws the clamp in his hand and it bounces off of the theatre wall landing on the floor, luckily, no-one was in it's path.

The defibrillator is brought to Ianto's side, the intubation tube disconnected from the machine and attached to a bag and the table is cleared. Ianto is shocked, no change. He is given adrenalin, air fed to him from the bag and then clear. He is shocked again.

Jack frantically starts to bang on the window, the Perspex window rattling and Owen looks up at him, tears evident in his eyes as he sees the pain Jack is in, the girls holding each other, crying as they watch the horror at Ianto's lifeless body being shocked in front of them. Jack can't hold himself together anymore and he stumps to the floor and sobs. The girls rushing to his side, arms around him, their hands joining Jack's on the window. Owen can't do anything but watch Jack, watch the girls as Ianto's life slips through the doctors fingers.


	27. Chapter 27

Now you all finally know. Hope you enjoy and keep reading as I'm not done yet.

He's Still Here, Just.

Jack, Toshiko and Gwen are sat in the chairs outside the theatre waiting for news. Owen had told them to wait there so they had. Jack hadn't uttered a single word, had hardly moved since they had gotten there and sat down. Gwen has started pacing up and down the corridor and it was slowly driving Toshiko mad.

"Would you please sit down Gwen. You are making me dizzy with all that pacing," Toshiko snaps and then looks at Gwen. "Sorry," she adds as Gwen sits down.

"Sorry Tosh. It's just….Owen told us to be here an hour ago and there hasn't been any word," Gwen tells her, fiddling with her hands.

"Well pacing isn't helping is it?" Toshiko asks her a little annoyed.

"Yeh. Sorry Tosh," Gwen tells her, putting her hand on Toshiko's knee.

The door of the theatre opens and Owen walk out. No bloodied gloves, no scrubs, no mask and no head gear. Jack almost jumps out of the seat he is in, scaring the girl and is in front of Owen in less than a second.

"How is he? Is he alive? What's happened?" Jack asks Owen barely able to get the words out in the right order.

"He's still alive Jack but he is in a critical condition. We have repaired the internal bleeding though we nearly lost him as you saw. He has lost a lot of blood Jack and he is on his 11th litre of blood. He is only just hanging on. He still has a fractured skull, broken arm and broken leg and broken ribs and we had to re-inflate his collapsed lung. His leg and arm are in casts and he has various tubes coming out of him. He looks a mess Jack, not the Ianto we know," Owen tells him, Jack not really taking it all in.

"What happens now?" Gwen asks him.

"He has been but in a chemical coma but only so that his body has a chance to heal a little. He will be coming out in a minute and then he will taken to ICU, (Intensive Care Unit) until he is out of the woods but I warn you Jack, Jack," Owen replies, nudging Jack and he turns to look at him.

"Normally this is the part where we you hear doctors say that the next 24 hours is crucial but I am saying that, we need to take this one hour at a time. He is holding on by a string and it could snap any moment. We could still lose him Jack so be prepared as much as you can be," Owen tells him putting his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Can I see him?" Jack asks looking at Owen, the pain more than evident in his eyes.

"If you want you can come into ICU with me but we have to get you ready and let them settle him in," Owen tells him with a small smile and Jack nods at him.

"Do you want me to stay with you Jack?" Gwen asks him rubbing his back.

"You go home to Rhys. It's been a long day and I don't want you back at the hub until after dinner time," Jack tells her and then he looks at Tosh who hadn't said a word yet except her rant at Gwen.

"You ok?" Jack simply asks her.

"I think I am going to go home but I will do all the admin while I am at home and then start on the reports in the morning," Tosh tells him, still not able to look at Owen.

"Night Tosh and don't work too hard. I will let you know if anything happens," he tells her and she tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek and moves away.

She starts to walk away and is about to talk away when the doors of the theatre opens and nurses and doctors, pull Ianto out. They all look as Ianto passes them, a tube in his mouth still, drips hanging out of the arm that wasn't cast, a bag hanging out of his side draining any blood from his chest, monitors bleeping. Gwen holds onto Jack as Ianto passes and as he passes Tosh, she slips out of Owens hands and leaves.

"I will see you tomorrow Jack. I will come in and bring you some fresh things. Look after yourself Jack," Gwen tells him and hugs him and he hugs her.

Gwen leaves, patting Owen on the arm and leaving him with Jack. They both follow Ianto, the doctors and nurses all the way to the ICU, (Intensive care Unit) where Owen drugs him to a room.

"What are you doing Owen?" Jack asks him confused as Owen looks the door behind them.

"You can't go in there like that. I need you to scrub down and that means strip, shower and change into scrubs. There can't be any chance of germs, bugs or viruses or it will make the patients sicker which includes Ianto and in their state, it could kill them," Owen tells him, rummaging through some shelves and finding some stuff for Jack and he passes them to him.

"Strip first and then into the shower. You have to scrub every part of you, every inch, everything you need is in there already and then you get dressed into these and we will put your clothes into one of the lockers. I have a key for one. I will sit over here with my back to you so you don't have to worry about me looking and just give me a shout if you have problems with the scrubs," Owen tells him putting the scrubs on the bench, smiling at him.

Owen goes to another bench, straddling it and sitting down. He can hear Jack getting undressed and after a few minutes, he hears the shower come on. He goes over to the pile of clothes Jack has left behind and he starts folding them ready to go into the locker.

"If Ianto could see you just dumping your clothes on the floor, he would have a fit," Owen tells him and then realising what he had just said and hoped that Jack hadn't heard him.

Owen puts Jack's things in the locker and then sits on the bench again.

"Owen," Jack asks from the shower.

"Yes Jack," he replies.

"Is he going to make it?" Jack asks him, his voice trembling a little.

"Honestly?" Owen asks him.

"The girls aren't here so honestly," Jack replies.

"I don't know Jack. He is in very bad shape. He is literally fighting for his life at the moment but you know Ianto. If anyone can get through this, he can. Did he remember you before?" Owen asks trailing off.

Owen waits for an answer but then he didn't get the answer he was looking for. He hears Jack sobbing as he stands in the shower, all alone. Owen gets up and grabs a towel, takes it into the shower, averting his eyes as Jack was butt naked and he turns the shower off and hands the towel to Jack and he takes it, putting it around himself.

Jack is still sobbing so Owen puts his arm around him and puts Jacks head on his shoulder, resting his hand on the back of Jack's head, comforting his boss. He wished that Gwen was around to do this but she had gone home to Rhys so he was left picking up the pieces of his boss, his friend as he feel apart and sobbed on Owens shoulder.

"It's alright Jack. He is a fighter. He will pull through and we will do everything we can to help him through this," Owen tells him, Jack still crying on his shoulder, Owen surprised to see this strong man so weak and helpless.

They stood there like that for a few minutes and then Jack pulls away.

"I'm sorry about that," he tells Owen, wiping his tears away.

"It's ok but you tell anyone about it and I will have you Jack. I have a rep to uphold," Owen tells him smiling and Jack actually smiles back.

"I won't tell anyone," Jack tells him and Jack starts taking the towel off so Owen turns around and goes back to the bench.

Owen starts counting the tiles on the floor as Jack gets dressed into the scrubs. After a few minutes, Jack is finished.

"How do I look?" Jack asks him and holds out his hands.

"Ianto is going to be pissed that he missed this," Owen smiles walking over to Jack and straightening out his scrubs.

"Can we go and see him now?" Jack asks him like a little child.

"Remember what I said Jack. He is going to hooked up to all sorts of machines and he isn't going to look like our Ianto. He's very sick," Owen reminds Jack.

"Let's go and see if they have him settled in yet," Owen tells Jack, opening the door and leading Jack to ICU, one of the nurses that was in the theatre, letting them in.

"Ianto Jones?" Owen asks the nurse and she points Owen to a bed near the window.

Owen and Jack follow her pointing and find Ianto laying in the bed next to the window. Jack takes a deep breath to ready him for seeing him but when he gets there, nothing could prepare him for what he saw.

Ianto was laying in a bed with a cage over him and a sheet over the cage, allowing his wounds air to heal. He's being help to breath with a respirator leading to a tube down his throat. His face was all bruised with little cuts all over it. His arm was cast from shoulder to hand and in a metal harness attended to his side, strapped around his chest, careful of his wounds and broken ribs. His ribs strapped up to keep them in place. A bag hanging out of his side, only a little filled with blood. Drips hanging out of his other arm, saline, blood and morphine. His leg in a sling keeping it up in the air.

Tears come to Jack's eyes and he fights then with the little energy he has left.

"Why don't you sit with him Jack. Talk to him, he can hear you," Owen tells him pointing to the chair on the left side of Ianto.

Jack looks at Owen and he smiles at him, letting him know that it was alright. As Owen gets out Ianto's charts and looks at them, Jack sits in the chair next to him and looks him over, head to toe. He sees Ianto's hand and he slides his hand under it and holds it. He sees the bruises on his hand and he leans down, slightly lifting his hand and he kisses all the bruises on Ianto's hand. He simply sits there looking at Ianto.

"What have I done? You got hurt because of me and I will never forgive myself for that? I will make it up to you every day of our lives," Jack tells him quietly and kisses his hand again.

Owen puts the clipboard back it's slot on the bed and turns to Jack.

"I'm going for coffee. Do you want anything Jack?" he asks him and Jack simply shakes his head.

Owen leave the ICU and goes and gets some coffee and leaves Jack with Ianto. Jack sits there just holding Ianto's hand, looking at him, watching him breath though not by himself. "Why did he have to hurt you? Why couldn't he just come after me? Oh Yan. What am I going to do Yan? Help me. Come back to me," Jack thinks to himself.

Owen comes back in, sweet talking the nurses to bring the coffee's in giving them some story about what happened and why he needed to bring the coffee's in. Owen brings it over to Jack and puts it on the table at the end of the bed.

"I got you some coffee. It's not as nice as Ianto's but it isn't as bad as what they give the patients and visitors. I nicked this from the doctors lounge. I put an extra sugar in as you haven't eaten and your body needs the sugar," Owen tells him.

"Thanks Owen. Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" Jack asks him, remembering that he is still the boss.

"I'll stay here Jack. I want to be here if Ianto's condition changes," Owen tells him pulling up a chair from the bed next door and sitting on Ianto's other side.

A few hours later, after dropping off and waking up again, Owen looks over to Jack and he is fast asleep in the chair, still holding Ianto's hand after moving his chair right up to the bed. Owen gets up and stretches out and goes to see the nurses. He manages to get two pillows and a blanket from them and takes it back to Ianto and Jack.

He puts one of the pillows on his chair and then puts the other at the foot of Ianto's bed as he unfolds the blanket. He covers Jack with the blanket and then takes the pillow, gentle moves Jack's head and as he puts the pillow behind Jack's head, he awakes.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" Jack asks with a start.

"Nothing Jack. You feel asleep and I was just putting a pillow behind your head to make you more comfortable. Go back to sleep. Ianto's is ok and there is no change in his condition," Owen tells him as Jack puts his head back against the pillow and tightening his grip on Ianto's hand.

Owen goes back to his chair and moving the pillow, sits down and puts the pillow behind his head. He watches Jack and he is soon asleep again so Owen closes his eyes and falls asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

This is a longer chapter. Again, I have only a basic knowledge of medical procedures so I apologise in advance if I get it wrong which I will do. Sections written in _Italic_ are what Ianto is thinking, not to much of that though. A little swearing. Angelwood.

First Signs Of Life.

Jack wakes up the next morning and his eyes are sore. Once his eyes have adjusted to the strange light, he looks into the bed and Ianto's is still there, still hooked up to all the machines and still unconscious. Jack's eyes wonder across the bed to the other chair to find Owen gone and Gwen sat in his place.

"Where is Owen?" Jack asks her as he stretches out, not letting go of Ianto's hand, the pillow slipping from behind him and the blanket falling onto his knees.

"He's gone for a shower. I brought him some stuff and I brought you some stuff as well," Gwen tells him with a smile, happy to see him a little brighter.

"What time is it?" Jack asks her looking around at the lack of people around.

"It's 9:24 am. The night staff are just briefing the day staff," Gwen tells him as he kisses Ianto's hand.

"Morning Ianto. This isn't the way I thought I would be waking up next to you but I'll take you just being here as a start," Jack tells him, picking up the blanket, placing it at the bottom of Ianto's bed, leaning over and carefully kissing Ianto's forehead and sitting down again.

"Do you want some coffee Jack? I found some of Ianto's special coffee and made some up, bringing it with me this morning," Gwen tells him producing a flask from her bag on the floor.

"You found some of Ianto's coffee?" he asks her, knowing that he had been looking for that since Ianto left.

"I found it in the kitchenette. I was actually looking for something else when I found it. Cup?" she asks him taking the cup off of the flask.

"I would love one," Jack replies, his eyes almost lighting up as Gwen pours the strong coffee with a heavenly aroma into the flask cup and handing it over to him.

He holds cup up to his nose, savouring ever smell. He had so missed Ianto's coffee and nothing they had tried since he had left, came anywhere close to his coffee. Ianto made the best coffee in the world. He blows the steam from the cup and takes a sip. It was almost enough to charge his tired, drained batteries as he took another sip, the smell of this amazing coffee flooding the ICU. Jack settles back into his seat, still holding Ianto's hand but with renewed vigour, sipping the perfect, black coffee.

Owen returns to the ICU, hair still a little wet from his shower and he stands at the foot of Ianto's bed.

"Do you want to sit down?" Gwen asks him preparing to grab her bag up off of the floor.

"No, it's alright Gwen. You stay where you are. If I sit much longer in that chair, my arse is going to be permanently numb," Owen tells her with a smile and she smiles back and then Jack turns to him.

"How is Ianto doing?" Jack asks him and then looking back at Ianto.

Owen picks up his charts and thumbs through them, looking at the obs which were now every 30 minutes instead of every 15 minutes. Owen returns the charts to it's place and looks at Jack.

"He isn't out of the woods yet Jack but the other doctors seem to be happy with his progress. His blood pressure has risen slightly, the blood drain is empty and urine output is up. As long as nothing happens, I am going to suggest to the doctors that they taken him out of the chemical coma early this evening. Jack, listen to me. If they do take Ianto out of the chemical coma, it doesn't mean that he will open his eyes and be out of the woods because that won't happen. It will take time for him to come around and then, he won't say anything as he will be too tired. He is being dosed up with Morphine and a cocktail of other drugs to stop him producing blood clots and such so there is more waiting ahead Jack," Owen warns him standing behind him and putting his hand on his shoulder.

"The main things is that he is getting better though," Gwen tells Jack, glaring at Owen knowing that Jack needed something to hold onto.

"Yes, he's slowly getting better but is going to take a while for him to fully recover if he does," Owen tells her but is again met by a glare.

"I don't care how long it takes as long as he gets better," Jack tells Owen but all the time keeping his eyes on Ianto, looking for any signs of life, kissing his hand.

All morning, nurses and doctors come to check up on Ianto's condition, each time working around Jack as he doesn't move from Ianto's side unless he really had too. He sat on the side of the bed, briefly letting go of Ianto's hand so that a doctor could remove the chest drain and bag from Ianto's side, stitching him up and dressing the wound.

Doctors came and went, checking on Ianto's wounds, redressing them each time and eventually removing the cage from over Ianto. Nurses, bathing Ianto and making sure that Ianto was comfortable, moving him with great care to stop him getting bed sores. Everything seemed to be happening around Jack as he didn't take his focus off of Ianto, not noticing people coming and going, Gwen and Owen leaving for some air and Toshiko arriving.

His focus was broken as he sees Toshiko sit down in the other chair next to Ianto, PDA in her hands and he turns to her. Though the PDA was in Toshiko's hand, her focus was on Ianto but her thoughts were a million miles away, Jack could see it in her eyes.

"Is everything ok Tosh? You don't seem to be your usual self and you are a million miles away," he asks her, snapping her out of her thoughts and she looks at him briefly, blinking hard and then back at Ianto.

"I'm fine. I'm not the one laying in a hospital bed on ICU," Toshiko replies, her eyes not shifting off of Ianto and Jack looks at her, not knowing how to take that reply.

"What happened to you yesterday Tosh? What happened to you and Owen?" Jack asks her, almost hitting the nail on the head without meaning to, Tosh careful not to show him that there is where her thoughts were wondering to, yesterday with Owen.

"It doesn't matter Jack. We are alright and so will Ianto be," Toshiko replies, still not looking at him.

Jack felt bad as he realised that he hadn't even asked the team what had happened to them, knowing that they had each gone through their own trauma at Gray's hands. Owen and Gwen soon walk about into ICU, giggling away quietly like a pair of school girls and then they realise that Jack isn't alone anymore.

"Tosh. I didn't see you come in," Owen tells her and she looks away from Ianto and down at her PDA, gently flicking it on.

"I just came to see how Ianto was doing and to tell Jack that my report is done and waiting on his desk," she tells Owen, not looking at him, Jack sensing the atmosphere around Toshiko.

"You did have to do the report but thank you anyway," Jack tells her with a smile but met by nothing.

"I will go and start work on the hospital records and liaise with the Police about the building. I'll get them to turn over all evidence to Torchwood," Toshiko tells Jack, tapping on her PDA as she gets up from the chair and walks around it.

"I hope that Ianto gets better soon," Toshiko tells Jack, briefly and for the tiniest of seconds, meeting his gaze.

"Thanks Tosh. I don't know what I would do without you," Jack tells her and when Toshiko doesn't react, knowing that she usually would, he knows that something is wrong.

"Wait up Tosh," Owen tells her and goes after her, having to get hold of her arm to stop her from walking away.

"What's going on Tosh? This isn't like you," he asks her, stroking her hair as he talks to her and she moves her head away from his hand and walks away, not saying a word, not even looking at him.

Toshiko leaves the ICU and Owen watches her, confused as to why she was acting the way she was after what had happened between them the day before. He goes back to Jack, Gwen and Ianto, the confusion clear as it was written all over his face.

"Is it me or is Toshiko behaving really strangely?" Owen asks Jack and Gwen, Gwen now sat in the chair.

"You mean stranger than usual?" Gwen asks not realising what she was saying until she had said it.

"Now why did you have to say that Gwen? She isn't strange, she is Toshiko," Owen tells Gwen, glaring at her leaving her in no doubt that comments like that weren't welcome.

"What happened yesterday Owen while you were both locked in that building?" Jack asks him as all focus is turned to Owen.

"Nothing for you to worry about Jack," he replies, what happened between him and Tosh not being Torchwood business.

"She wouldn't tell me either," Jack replies and looks back at Ianto.

* * *

Around 6 o'clock that evening, Owen was called aside by one of the doctors and they went to the side and had a talk and then Owen came back to Jack.

"The other doctors are in agreement with me that Ianto is ready to be brought out of the coma now. All his vitals are improving, the chest drain is out and he is doing better. He will still have all the drips and he will still need the respirator to breath for him as he comes out of the coma but as soon as we know he can breathe on his own, we will remove that too. He isn't out of the woods yet Jack but it is looking better. Providing nothing happens, he will be taken off of the critical list and later moved to a side room," Owen tells Jack.

"Did you hear that Yan? You are doing better already. I knew you were a fighter," Jack tells him, getting up and kissing him on the forehead. He sits back down and looks at Gwen who is smiling at him and at last, Jack feels hope.

The doctor soon comes in and injects Ianto with something to bring him out of the coma and then he turns to Jack.

"Now we have to be patient. It may take Ianto a little while to come around, his body his been through a lot so just be patient as it might take him a while. Some patients come around in an hour, some patients take several hours but it is all down to the individual patient," the doctor warns Jack and then turns to leave and smiles at Owen and Gwen and then leaves.

"Now it's just a waiting game Jack," Owen tells him putting his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Why don't you go home Owen and get some sleep? I've got tonight and I will call you when he wakes up. Ianto won't be impressed if he sees you dead on your feet," Gwen tells Owen with a smile.

"Are you sure? What about Rhys?" Owen asks her, knowing full well that there was no point arguing with her and he was tired and in desperate need of his bed. The chair had done him no favours.

"I've already spoken to Rhys and he is fine with it," Gwen tells him with a smile.

"Make sure you call me as soon as he stirs," Owen tells Gwen reinforcing the point.

"I will now you go and get some sleep," Gwen tells him, settling down in the chair.

"Do either of you need anything before I leave?" Owen asks them as he grabs his coat and puts it on.

"No thank you Owen," Jack replies and Gwen shakes her head, holding up and Jackie Collins novel that she had brought with her to read.

"I will see you both later and Jack, try and get some sleep," Owen tells him with a smile and then he disappears out of the ICU.

Gwen settles down with her book and Jack stays where he is, his eyes on Ianto looking for the smallest movement, holding Ianto's hand like he had done since he had arrived in ICU the evening before.

* * *

"_God those lights are bright. Where am I? Jack, Gwen. Why is my throat so sore? My arm, why is it in a cast and why can't I move my leg? What is going on? Why can't I talk? What is in my mouth and throat? Jack! Jack! Help me. Someone help me. I think I am going to be sick. Someone! What's that pain? Aw. Pain in my chest, pain in my stomach. Why is no-one helping me? Jack! Jack! Wake up."_

Jack awakes as Ianto pulls his hand out of his and he sees Ianto's eyes wide open and blazing wilding, confusion all over them as he tries to grab the intubation cube in his mouth. Jack jumps up which wakes Gwen up with a start, dropping her book. Jack presses the alarm and then comes into Ianto's view taking hold of his hand.

"_Jack! What's going on? Why can't I talk? What's in my mouth? Answer me god damn you."_

Nurses rush into where Ianto is and reset the alarm.

"Ianto! Ianto! I am nurse Clark and I need you to came down for me Ianto. You have a tube down your throat to help you breath," the nurse tells him as he looks at her like a child lost.

"_So that is what it is. That's why I can't talk. What the hell is going on? Why am I in a hospital?"_

"Ianto! I need you to calm down and focus on me a second. You have been in a major accident and you were very badly injured so we need you to calm down for a minute or you will pop your stitches," she warns him.

"_Accident? What accident? Wait a minute? I remember Gray, I remember being tied to a chair and you were there Jack. I remember big red numbers, Jack getting me out of the chair and running. The bombs! Did the bombs go off?"_

A doctor soon appears behind them.

"Can you give me some space please?" the doctor asks and Gwen pulls Jack away from the bed and the nurse moves away too.

"_Where are you going Jack? Gwen, don't leave me here. Who are you?" _

"Ianto, I am Dr Kennedy. I need you to listen to me," Dr Kennedy starts.

"_Ok. Are you going to help me then?" _

"You have a tube in your throat that is helping you to breath," Dr Kennedy tells him.

"_She's already told me that. Stop talking and get it out. I really think I'm going to be sick and I'm in pain too."_

"In a minute, on my count, I need you to cough for me as it will help when I pull the tube out and what ever you do, don't swallow," Dr Kennedy instructions Ianto, tears in his eyes.

"_Ok. Cough don't swallow. I am going to be sick Start counting already."_

"On three. One, two, three," Dr Kennedy counts as he puts his hand on Ianto's chin and takes hold of the tube and as Ianto closes his eyes and coughs, Dr Kennedy pulls the tube out of Ianto's throat and mouth, letting go of his chin and as Ianto had thought, he throws up all over the sheets that were over him, tears running down his face.

"It's ok Ianto. Sometimes that happens. Nurse Clark. Can we get some clean sheets for Mr Jones please," he instructs her as Ianto looks down seeing this greenish bile with bits of what looked like debris in it.

He lays back down.

"Your throat will feel sore for a little while but it will so go back to normal. Try not to talk as it is going to hurt when you do. When you were admitted, you had to be taken straight to theatre. You had internal bleeding in your chest and abdomen but myself and Dr Harper managed to get it under control after a fight. You also have a fractured skull, broken Humerus, Ulna and Radius of your right arm, broken ribs and broken Tibia and Fibula of your right leg. You are lucky to be alive Ianto so rest. Nurse Clark will give you a mild sedative to help you sleep," Dr Kennedy tells him smiling at him, glad to see him awake.

Nurse Kennedy changes Ianto's top sheets as Jack, Gwen and Dr Kennedy stand there.

"_This is so embarrassing." _

"Nurse Clark will be back to give you the sedative in a minute so rest and I will see you in the morning," Dr Kennedy tells Ianto and then he turns to Gwen and Jack.

"He is tired and he needs his rest. He won't be awake long now and I don't want either of you stressing him out. He has been through enough these past 24 hours," Dr Kennedy warns them with a stern look.

He walks away from them and Nurse Clark comes back with some water in a cup and with the sedative in a syringe.

"I thought that you might be thirsty so I brought you some water but you can only have a little so don't be greedy," she tells him smiling, Ianto noticing her amazing Jade green eyes.

She puts her hand on Ianto's neck to help him up a little and then places the rim of the plastic cup gently on his bottom chapped lip and gently pours a little cold water into Ianto's mouth. As she pulls it away, Ianto swallows the water, tasting his mouth for the first time and it was foul, the water sliding down his swollen, aggravated throat, Ianto feeling the pain but also the relief as she lays his head back down.

"Thank you," Ianto tries to tell her but the words don't come out and is followed by amazing pain.

"It's alright. It's my job. Now I am going to give you the sedative and it works quite quickly so you should be asleep soon. Here is the buzzer if you should need me for anything," she tells him with a smile as she reaches over him carefully and gets the buzzer and puts it by his hand.

She takes the sedative and puts it in the port in Ianto's arm that was already full with the Saline drip and the Morphine drip but she puts it in and gently squeezes the sedative in and once done, pulling it out and putting the syringe in the needle bin on the side.

"It will kick in soon so if I don't see you tomorrow, I wish you a speedy recovery Mr Jones," she tells him with a smile as Ianto took a last look at her amazing eyes.

She leaves and Jack comes over to Ianto's left side and Gwen comes to his right side.

"It's good to see you awake Yan. We nearly lost you there. I am so glad to see you awake. I'm sorry and I will never let anything happen to you again. I am going to look after you and help you get better," Jack tells Ianto before kissing him on his chapped, dry lips but Ianto doesn't respond to his kiss and Jack feels it.

"_Really."_

"Glade to have you back Ianto. You scared the hell out of us all," Gwen tells him with a smile and then she leans in and kisses him on the cheek.

Nurse Clark and Dr Kennedy were right and a few minutes after being given the sedative, Ianto was fast asleep again and Jack settles into the chair.

"I'll go and tell everyone that he is awake and alright," Gwen tells Jack as she goes to get her bag.

"Why don't you go home Gwen. It's been a long day and you look worn out. Tell everyone when you get home," Jack suggests wanting some time with Ianto on his own.

"Ok Jack but you need to get some sleep as well. Ianto is going to be out of it for a while. I will see you in the morning," Gwen tells him with a smile as she grabs her bag and then she leans into Ianto and whispers into his ear.

"I will see you tomorrow Ianto," she whispers, stroking the side of his face and then she leaves, leaving Jack with his sleeping beauty, Ianto.


	29. Chapter 29

**WARNING: **Ianto slips into darkness. Some swearing and all Ianto. _Italic_ is Ianto's thoughts. Please review so I know I'm doing something right or wrong, which ever the case may be.

The First Day Of The Rest Of Ianto's Life.

Ianto walks up the next morning and allows his eyes to adjust, still in pain and just unable to move half of his body. His mouth felt like the bottom of a bird cage and he had the over whelming desire to brush his teeth. His head hurt, vague memories of the dreams he had had, running through his mind. Not dreams, nightmares, nightmares that he couldn't get out of, the sedative had done it's job.

Without making a noise, Ianto looks around him and sees Jack in the chair next to him, curled up in the chair with a blanket over him and fast asleep. Ianto follows one of Jack's arms and finds that Jack is holding his hand, loosely but still holding it. He had no desire to wake him so he left his hand where it was. Ianto looks past Jack and to the window behind him. It had only just thought about turning from night to day so Ianto knew that it was still early.

Rain drops were racing each other down the window, one after another after another so Ianto knew it was raining. He closed his eyes again and listened to the rain beating off of the window. He wished he could be out there in the rain. Feel the rain running down his hair and down his neck. Looking up and feeling the rain on his face. He liked the rain. When he stood in the rain, it felt like the rain was washing his troubles and cares away but he couldn't. He was stuck in a hospital bed, hardly able to move and why?

He feels something at the end of his bed and he turns his head and opens his eyes. There at the bottom of the bed was the smaller, red headed, Jade eyed, Welsh, nurse Clark.

"You are awake then," she tells Ianto with a smile as she perches on the end of the bed, writing down his obs on his chart. Ianto simply smiled at her.

"You have had a few people worried about you. Dr Harper has been with you since you came into hospital, he helped you in theatre and then hadn't really left you until last night. As for him," and she nods over to a sleeping Jack, "He has hardly moved. He's been by your side since the start," she tells him.

Ianto simply looks at her as she takes his temperature, no expression on his face, nothing in his eyes. He was just blank, tired, emotionless.

"He's your boss isn't he? Jack I mean?" she asks Ianto, writing obs again.

Ianto just nodded at her.

"Is he your partner? I mean, he hasn't let go of your hand unless he was forced to," she tells him, now looking at him with those amazingly green eyes.

Ianto shakes his head and frowns at her.

"Lover?" she almost whisper as though someone was listening.

Ianto shakes his head but with no expression.

"_Is he my lover? He can't be. I still love him, I always will but can I go back there? Can I really allow myself to be dragged into heart break again? No! Pull yourself together Ianto Jones. Why are you in this hospital bed? Because of him. Because his brother used what you had between you once and tried to hurt him by killing you. You are in here because of him, Captain Jack Harkness," _Ianto thinks to himself as though the angel and the devil on his shoulders were having an argument. His focus returns to nurse Cark.

"You drifted away there. You seem as though you have a lot on your mind, more than the usual patient," she tells him and he smiles at her with the weakest of smiles and they both knew, there was nothing behind it.

"I with go and carry on with my rounds now but I will pop back and see you later before I leave. Hopefully, when I come back on shift, you will be in a side room on your own. More privacy for you," she tells Ianto as she gets up and flash Ianto a smile, her eyes shining brightly.

She leaves him and Ianto's focus returns to the window, watching the rain against the window. He drifts further and further away. Away from his aching body, away from the hospital bed, away from Jack who slept in the chair next to him.

* * *

A little while later, Ianto's thoughts were drawn back to where he his body was as Jack woke up, squeezing his hand. Ianto doesn't look at Jack, he simply stares straight ahead, no emotion stirring inside of him. Jack stretches out and then stands up and leans into Ianto. He goes to kiss him on the lips but Ianto turns his head at the last minute so Jack's lips met his stubbly cheek. Jack pulls away and frowns at Ianto.

"Yan. What's wrong?" Jack asks him sitting on the side of the bed, still holding Ianto's hand and he squeezes it.

Ianto doesn't reply, doesn't even look at him. Jack runs his fingers through Ianto's thick, dark hair.

"Yan. Look at me," Jack tells him and Ianto moves his head, removing his hair from Jack's fingers.

"Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you," Jack tells him, resting his hand on Ianto's shoulder.

"_You, help me Jack? When have you ever helped me Jack? Just leave me alone. Don't touch me, don't kiss me, don't run your fingers through my hair, don't talk to me. Just leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you," _Ianto says, nothing coming out of his mouth, the conversation in his head.

Ianto didn't sigh, he didn't move, didn't blink. The lights were on but Ianto wasn't there and Jack sees it. He sits back down in the chair, still holding his hand, unable and unwilling to let go. The silence between them was deafening.

* * *

Time past, Ianto didn't know how much, he didn't care but soon the silence was broken by Gwen bounding in, arms full of things and Owen following her, less energetic than her. Ianto turns to them and sees that Gwen has flowers, card, balloons and a teddy. Ianto looked at Owen and he was looking right at him with a thin and less enthusiastic smile on his face. Ianto turned away from them all.

"_I don't want this, I don't need this. Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm not with Torchwood anymore, I'm not one of you, I haven't been for a while now. This doesn't make anything different. Just leave me alone," _Ianto thinks to himself as Gwen fusses around, getting a nurse to get a vase for the flowers, sitting the teddy on the side table, attaching the balloons to his bed with something and putting the card on the side.

Ianto just left her to it. He really didn't care about the flowers, the balloons, the teddy or the card. Ianto simply just didn't care. Gwen buzzed around him a little while longer and then she calmed down. They all talked around him but no matter what they said, Ianto didn't react. They could of told him that the Queen was stood at the bottom of the bed, he didn't care. But it didn't stop him from listening.

"He's been like this all morning. He won't look at anyone, he won't say anything, he won't react. It's like Ianto's body is here but he isn't. What's wrong with him?" Jack asks Owen.

"It happens sometimes. Sometimes patients get depressed after something like this happening to them. They just need time, Ianto just needs some time. It's doesn't help that he can't go anywhere, do anything and someone is always with him," Owen replies knowing he had just his foot right into an argument.

"Are you saying that this is my fault because I won't leave him alone?" Jack replies finally letting go of Ianto's hand as he stands up to face Owen.

"That's not what I mean Jack. Think about who Ianto is. He's like a lone wolf. Yes, he might have run with a pack, the Torchwood pack but he is still a lone wolf. He likes being alone. He likes having space. He just needs time alone to think and get his head sorted out," Owen explains.

"_Finally. Someone who has the smallest of understandings as to how I feel. Thank you Owen. Now try and get that into his thick, stubborn head,"_ Ianto thinks to himself.

"We are crowding him Jack. Give him a little space and give yourself some space," Gwen tells Jack, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"_Here we go. Gwen and her bleeding heart, caring crap. I knew it was coming. Bleeding heart, caring but underneath, she wants nothing more than to get in his boxers. Go ahead. I really don't care anymore. He's all yours Gwen,"_ Ianto thinks to himself, his eyes glazing over, disappearing further into the land of, "He didn't care."

Ianto closed his eyes and just drifted away. He disappeared into the darkness. No light, no sound, no emotions, no feelings, nothing. He felt like he was sat at the bottom of a black hole and he liked it, needed it. Nothing there could hurt him, nothing there could make him feel, nothing in there could make him do anything. It was just him and nothing.


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry for the repost. Made aware of name issues. Thank you, you know who you are.**

**WARNING:** Some swearing, from Ianto again and again, Ianto's thoughts are in _Italic._

I'm Not Crazy.

During the evening, Ianto had in fact been moved to a side room, a room all to himself but people still kept coming in and out. Nurses doing his obs, doctors checking his surgery wounds, none of them getting a sideways glance, not a word or a grumble. Then there was the Scooby gang. They kept popping in and out under the heading, "You just want to know if there was anything you need."

"_I need you to leave me alone. That's what I need," _Ianto thought to himself.

Jack tried to kiss him put again before leaving and again, he pulled away from him. The only two people who hadn't been in to see him yet were, Nurse Clark but she wasn't on shift yet and Toshiko.

"_Why hasn't Toshiko been to see me? I thought she would have by now. Is she ok?" _Ianto thought as the rain lashed against the window. The sky outside was dark. A storm was moving in.

Ianto drifted back into the darkness of his own head until he was brought back by the sound of a familiar, gentle, Welsh accent. It was Nurse Clark.

"Good evening Ianto. How are you feeling tonight? I see you haven't touched your tea," she tells him as she moves the tray from in front of Ianto, Ianto not even realising it was there but he didn't want it either way.

"Not hungry," he simply reply, shocking her as she hadn't heard him speak.

"So you do speak then. I thought I had gone deaf," she tells him with a larger than usual smile, her eyes blazing.

He just smiled at her.

"I see that you have had your usual visitors," she tells him, nodding over to the side table, clattered with cards and such.

"I don't want them," Ianto tells her, meeting her bright, green eyes.

"Do you want me to get rid of them?" she replies, her smile dropping.

"I don't want them here," Ianto replies, looking away from her.

"I might sound a little thick here but do you mean your friends or their gifts?" she asks him, probably knowing the answer already.

"Both!" he replies, snapping at her, "Sorry," he then follows with, knowing it wasn't her fault.

"It's ok. You seem to be a million miles away when they are around. You seem to be a million miles away all the time. Do you want me to tell them that you don't want to see them at the moment?" she asks Ianto, putting a comforting hand on his.

"Please," Ianto replies, saying it more with his eyes than his mouth.

"Ok. Get some rest. Is there anything I can get you? Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, whiskey?" she asks him with a broad smile, hoping to see him smile again.

"No thank you," he replies, a small smile creeping across his face.

"I had better go before the boss rips me a new one. I'll pop in, in the morning if that's ok?" she asks him and he smiles at her.

She gets up and leaves his room, Ianto's thoughts start to wonder again and in no time, he was asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Ianto wakes up feeling less dark than the day before and wipes his eyes. The light was coming in through his window and unlike yesterday, the sun was shining and there was no sign of rain. Ianto looks around his room and there was a strange, slim, blonde haired man sat in the chair next to Ianto.

"_Who the hell are you?" _Ianto asks himself, looking the strange man up and down.

"Good morning Ianto. My name is Dr Matthews. I am the hospital's Psychiatrist. Some concern has been expressed by Dr Harper and Dr Kennedy," he tells Ianto.

"_A shrink.? Owen sent in a bloody shrink? I don't need a bloody shrink, I need people to bloody leave me alone," _Ianto thinks to himself as he watches the Psychiatrist chatting away.

"I was wondering if it was alright if we have a little chat. I have been looking at your notes," Dr Matthews continues but Ianto's isn't listening.

"_Talk all you want mate. Knock yourself out. It's not as though I am actually listening," _Ianto tells him, still not actually talking.

Ianto looks out of the window, deep in his own thoughts. He wasn't interested in what some shrink thought and it wasn't as though Ianto could actually tell him the truth. Telling him about Torchwood and what they did would land him quicker in the nut house than anything else. After a little time, Ianto notices that the shrink had stopped talking.

"Why am I here Mr Jones?" Dr Matthews asks him.

"_If you don't know then how the hell am I meant to? Your probably hear because I want to be alone, people don't get it and think I am going crazy," Ianto thinks as he looks at him. _

"Mr Jones, I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong," Dr Matthews tells him and Ianto has had enough.

"I'm not crazy. I just want to be left ALONE," Ianto barks at him, his voice getting louder at the end.

Dr Matthews closes the file he is writing in, gets up off of the chair and then leaves the room.

Ianto breathes a sign of relief and then everything goes quiet. He stares out of the window again and disappears into his thoughts. He wasn't happy but at least, he was ALONE.


	31. Chapter 31

Friendly Faces - A Chink Of Light.

Ianto had been laying in his bed for a while, amazingly, it had been quiet since the shrink had left. Nurse Clark had popped in before but it was only for a second. Then there was a little knock at the door and followed by a little voice.

"It's Toshiko," he hears and he sits up more.

"Come in Tosh," he tells her, happy to hear her voice. She was the only member of the Scooby gang that hadn't been to see him since he awoke.

The door opened and Toshiko walks in, closing the door behind her with a bag in her hand. She comes over to his bed and puts the bag down, sitting on the edge of Ianto's bed.

"I thought you were never going to come and see me," he tells her, reaching over with his other hand and taking hers.

"How are you and don't give me any bull about you being fine. I have heard Gwen, Owen and Jack talking and they are worried," she tells him, squeezing his hand and looking at him straight in the eyes.

"What have they been saying?" Ianto asks her, looking rather more crossed now but not at her.

"Owen was saying how he had sent you a shrink to try and find out why you were being the way you were. Not talking and that. I was going to tell him why you were being the way you were but I didn't. Let him work it out for himself," Toshiko tells him.

"Why do you think I'm being like this?" Ianto hating the way that sounded, as if to test her.

"You hate being fussed over at the best of times. You hate them fussing over you and around you, especially Jack. You want to be left alone, you want space to think about what has happened, how you feel and where to go from here. How did I do?" she asks him, looking down at his hand which was still bruised.

"They think that I am still one of them, still part of Torchwood but I'm not. I left for a reason. Jack's the worst. He thinks that saying things he thinks I want to hear with pull me back in line, be his Yan again and roll over just like before but I can't do that Tosh. I just can't," Ianto tells her, opening up for the first time since that day.

"Gwen keeps telling Jack that you will be fine, you just need time, fussing all over him," Tosh tells him and Ianto hears something in her voice, sees something in her eyes at is familiar, he had been there.

"What's going on Tosh and don't lie to me and forget Gwen, she can have him, it's all she has wanted from the start," Ianto tells her, squeezing her hand.

"It's nothing for you to worry about Ianto. You have enough to worry about," Tosh answers knowing that Ianto was the only person who would understand but she didn't want to burden him.

"Your worrying about it Tosh so tell me. Is it Owen?" Ianto asks knowing that only Owen could do this to Tosh.

"He said he liked me. He kissed me and not on the cheek," she simply tells him.

"That's good isn't it Tosh? You have loved him for long enough," Ianto asks and he sees her eyes well up.

"True. I have loved him for a long time but he hasn't even looked at me sideways. He said it when we thought we were going to die. Since we have gotten out, he has spent any time away from the hospital, with Gwen," she tells him, a tear drops from her eye.

"Come here Tosh," he tells her, letting go of her hand and holding his arm out.

Tosh moves further up his bed and he puts his hand on the back of her head and gently pulls her down to him, resting her head on his chest, pain suddenly hitting him as her head rests on one of his wounds but he didn't care. His friend was hurting. He strokes her hair.

"Oh Tosh. Have you spoken to him about it?" he asks her as she cries on him the way only she did, quiet and small.

"I'm afraid to. I don't want to make myself look stupid in case he just said it because he thought we were going to die," she mummers to him through her cry.

"Have you been avoiding him every time he gets anywhere near you?" he asks her knowing full well she had been and he feels her nod on his chest.

"Has he been trying to talk to you?" Ianto asks her and she nods again.

"And are you afraid that he wants to apologise for what he did and he will say he has no interest in you that why?" he asks knowing the answer already and she confirms it by nodding.

"Oh Tosh. He clearly wants to talk to you about it. You have to bite the bullet Tosh, one way or another. You can't keep avoiding each other. It doesn't work. It tear's you up inside. I know," he tells her still stroking her hair.

They simply stay there for a few minutes longer, Toshiko's head on Ianto's chest, Ianto stroking her hair. They both felt comfort, Ianto not wanting to disappear into his thoughts for once. He knew what she was feeling. He had been there himself so he knew how torn she felt. Eventually, Toshiko raised her head and wiped her face, Ianto's chest still hurting but he didn't mind, it was Tosh.

"I borrow your spare flat keys from Jack's office and I went around and got you a few things. I hope you don't mind?" she asks Ianto, getting off of the bed and putting it on the bed in her place.

"What have you brought me?" Ianto asks her with a smile.

"I have brought you some books in case you want to read, a laptop, one of mine so if you want to chat, I'm on the other end of an email, it's all set up so don't worry about that. Coffee because there is no way you would drink the stuff in here so I got yours and some clothes. I had then altered so that they would fit over and around the casts. I thought you would feel better wearing your own clothes. I also brought you underwear, socks, cleaning stuff, things like that," she tells him placing the laptop on the table with the coffee and books.

"Owen doesn't deserve you Tosh. You are too good for him. Be with me instead," Ianto tells her and they both smile knowing that Ianto was joking but they were happy to see smiles on each others faces.

"I'll go and see if I can get one of the nurses to make a cup of your coffee. Black or white?" Tosh asks him getting the canteen of coffee off of the table.

"Any way it comes Tosh," he tells her, he could almost smell the coffee already.

Tosh leaves the room and as she leaves, another arrives. Nurse Clark.

"I see you have a visitor. Do you want me to come back later?" she asks him, Ianto could tell she was curious about Tosh.

"It's ok. Tosh won't mind. She's brought me some stuff from home," he tells her, fuelling her curiosity.

"Your girlfriend is she?" she asks him trying to make it a throw away question.

"Careful nurse Clark. Your almost as green as your eyes. She's a work colleague and a friend," Ianto replies with a smile and she blushes going red instead of green.

"What did she bring you then?" she asks him, trying to distract him from her bright face but it was too late, he had seen it.

"Some clothes, specially altered so it will fit around the casts, washing things, books, laptop and my own special blend of coffee. Everything a trapped patient needs," Ianto jokes.

"You might not be trapped for much longer from what I've heard," she tells him sitting on the bed.

"What have you heard?" he asks her as Tosh comes back into the room, quickly putting the two cups and the canteen down on the table.

"Here Tosh, Nurse Clark was just about to tell me why I might not be stuck in here much longer," he tells her as she picks the cups up and gives to Ianto and he takes it thankfully.

"I was listening to the Doctors when I came in, that Dr Harper was outside and they were saying how happy they were with your progress and in couple of days, they don't see why you shouldn't be allowed to go home," she tells him.

The look on Ianto's face is conflicted. He didn't know whether getting out was a good thing or not. On the one hand, he would have more freedom but on the other hand, he was safe there, safe from Jack and everything he brought with him.

They all sat around chatting, nurse Clark having to go but she kept popping back and on one of her visits, she tells Ianto and Tosh that Dr Harper had left. Ianto enjoyed having Tosh there. Her and nurse Clark were the only ones to even get a smile from him. No-one else could crack his steely face. Ianto broke with Tosh. They were the same, both screwed up over some, just him more than her.


	32. Chapter 32

WARNING: This is an insight into Ianto's mind. Some people may find it just a little, unsettling. Those people will know what I mean but for the rest of you, hope you enjoy and this sets the scene for what is coming. Please R&R.

Ianto's Secret Letter.

While he spent the last few days in hospital, Ianto spent a lot of time on the laptop. It had been a good send from Tosh, filling his time but there was only so many times you could play Hearts before it got boring. He decided that he should write something, a way to get his thoughts and feeling out and so he began.

"Day 5,

This place is starting to drive me insane. It's not the staff, they are nice enough. I think Nurse Clark has a thing for me. She is a young, about 23 year old and a nurse here on this ward. She has the most beautiful flame red hair and the greenest eyes you have ever seen. Sometimes I see her eyes when I close my eyes, they are burnt that deep into my memory. They are like cats eyes, only brighter. She is quite sweet really. I tease her sometimes, in jest of course and she blushes, oh my god she blushes.

I would consider the option if I weren't broken and damaged. I'm broken in body but also in mind and soul. I close my eyes and I go to the darkest place I have ever been and what scares me is, I like it. It's a vast empty space. No light, no sound, no people, no life, just me. How can I explain it? It's like sitting in the middle of the biggest tornado you have ever seen with your eyes shut. There is nothing but silence in the centre while life, all the shit, flows and whirls around you.

I spend a lot of time in this darkness. There I don't have to think about me, who I was, who I am and who I am becoming. I don't have to think about all the shit from the past, the shit that still affects me. Lisa, Canary Warf, losing her, finding Jack, finding Torchwood and giving up on Jack. I don't have to think about the love I found, the love I lost, the love I gave and the love I was denied.

If I stay too long in this dark place, I can feel it cover me, flow through me like a dark spectre, fill every corner of my mind and turn my soul black. I feel my soul turn black and I want more, I like the taste of it, of the anger, the rage, the horror that ravages my mind. The feeling almost primitive, roar, uncontrolled. I almost get pleasure from the darkness and what it brings to my soul. Am I becoming Evil? No.

I need the rage, the anger, my life survives on it now. Sometimes though, there are chinks of light in the darkness over coming me fully. My dear friend Tosh who doesn't see or feel the darkness, not like I do. She is the only one who really stops me from disappearing into the darkness for eternity. Some might say that Ianto Jones is just depressed but what I feel isn't as controlled as that. What I feel can't be controlled.

The darkness is too nice, it tastes too sweet, feels so good and there is no-one left to keep me balanced, balanced between light and dark. There was once but not anymore. He has gone and so there is darkness, comforting darkness. I take comfort in it, it gives me pleasure, it gives me energy, it gives me everything I need and I don't need anything but the darkness. The darkness gives me life and meaning."


	33. Chapter 33

Some swearing, from Toshiko of all people. Here's a little break before we get back to the angst.

You Just Can't Help Yourself.

While Ianto is in hospital, life in the Torchwood hub carries on almost as usual. Owen is at his desk and so is Toshiko. Gwen had been in the office a while talking to Jack, what about, Tosh didn't know but she was about to find out. She had finished the report that Jack had asked her to finish as he needed it ASAP and since Ianto nearly died, no-one dare argue with him.

She got up from her desk and slowly walked to the office door, passing Owen who noticed her going past but didn't say anything. Now wasn't the right time. She was about to knock on the door when she saw Jack and Gwen in the office and her hand seemed to hover just in front of the glass. She watched through the blind at what was about to unfold.

Gwen had her arms around Jack, his head on her shoulder and she was stroking his hair, comforting him.

"Fucking typical," Tosh thought to herself.

She doesn't say or do anything, she just watches. Tosh only wished that she could hear what they were saying. They were stood behind Jack's desk with the back of his thighs against the desk. Jack lifted his head off of Gwen's shoulder and her arms slipped onto his shoulders. They exchanged a few words and then she did it. Tosh knew she would. Gwen lent in and kissed Jack.

There was no return from Jack, he moved back, ending up sitting on his desk. He said something to her which she wasn't happy about and she moved around the desk. As Tosh sees her heading for the door and she almost dives back to her desk. She makes herself look busy as Gwen storms out of the office, slamming the door behind her. She storms back to her desk, slams herself down and moans to herself in a right mood.

Toshiko thinks a second and then realises that it might be better if she didn't go and see Jack at that point.

* * *

An hour later and everything had gone back to usual or as usual as things could be and Tosh delivers her paperwork to Jack.

"Are you ok Jack?" Tosh asks him seeing that he was in pieces.

"How do think I am? You saw Tosh. What was she playing at?" Jack asks her.

"I have no idea Jack. I know you didn't welcome it. Just brush it off and carry on. What else can you do?" she asks him putting the paperwork on the desk.

"I miss him so much. How has he gotten under my skin so much?" Jack asks her, looking up at her.

"Look Jack. As I friend, he has been through a lot. Let him deal with it any way he chooses and wait for him. As your employee, pull yourself together boss. We need a leader so lead," Toshiko tells him and he smiles at her.

"Thanks Tosh," he tells her and she simply smiles and walks out of the office.

She returns to her desk and carries on with some work. Ianto wasn't on line so she couldn't talk to him so work was the only option.

* * *

A few hours after that, after dinner, Toshiko is back at her desk, Jack is in his office and Gwen and Owen are at Gwen's desk and they are laughing and joking. Toshiko watches them out of the corner of her eye and sees something, hoping that she didn't see it. Her blood starts to boil and she starts to feel very angry. There, it happens again. Toshiko sees it clearly. Gwen puts her hand on Owens leg, close to his thigh and she sees red.

Toshiko gets up from her desk, walks the short distance to Gwen's desk and slaps Gwen right across the face, making her hand sting but she didn't care.

"Tosh," Gwen shouts but can get another word out.

"What's wrong with you Gwen? Isn't Rhys enough for you? You just can't help yourself can you? First you were shagging Owen and now you are all over Jack. Jack loves Ianto so leave him alone Alleycat," Tosh tells Gwen, fire in her eyes and Gwen can't reply, she is too shocked at Toshiko's outburst.

Owen grabs Toshiko's arm and drags her away from Gwen before she hit her again, dragged her to the autopsy room, down the stairs and over to his desk.

"What has come over you Tosh?" Owen asks her, confusion all over his face.

"What do you care? You and her laughing together," Tosh replies, venom in her voice.

"Why are you being like this?" he asks her not understanding at all.

"Like what? Quiet, boring little Toshiko?" she asks him, the venom still there.

"Tosh. Please stop. I can't bare seeing you like this. This isn't the Tosh I fell for," he tells her and she turns away from him, your eyes starting to well up.

"Don't say it Owen. Don't say you like me when it's not true," she tells him.

He turns her around to face him. A tear rolls down her face and Owen wipes it away, stepping closer to her.

"I am in love with you Toshiko Sato. It has been killing me, you always walking away from me. I have wanted to hold you so many times, since that day. I've wanted to hold you close, kiss you and protect you. God you don't how hard that was for me to say," Owen finally admits.

He puts his arm around her waist and pulls her close. She turns away from him.

"Please tell me you feel the same Tosh. Please tell me I haven't just made an arse of myself?" he asks her and she looks back at him.

"You know I feel the same Owen. I have been in love with you almost since the first day," she tells him.

"Well, what shall we do then?" Owen asks putting his other arm around her and pulling her so close that she can feel his breath on her cheek.

"I don't know. Are we together or bed buddies or what," she asks him.

"Together I hope. How do you feel about that?" he asks her and then she gives him the answer.

Her lips meet his and the longer they kiss, the hard they kiss having to remind themselves that they were at work, as they hold each other.


	34. Chapter 34

Theme of the next few chapters. Ianto slips further into the darkness but can Jack bring him back from the edge of eternal darkness or will someone die while he tries.

Back At The Hub.

Two months later and Ianto had been back at the hub for four days. Jack had requested a doctors note declaring Ianto fit for work first but after various tests, Owen declared Ianto fit for active duty. The first day had been the hardest, getting back into the old routine, the routine he had left behind and changed for the shop routine.

Ianto soon found his footing and pace and went back to all his duties, well, nearly all his duties. It was a Friday morning and Ianto was the second one in the hub as Jack was nearly always there, he slept there. It was his fifth day so he back in his routine and after hanging his coat up, making sure that main hub computer had been set for the forthcoming shift, Ianto disappeared into his kitchenette, his because no-one really dared to go inside and touch anything. This was Ianto's place.

He set about starting the coffee machine so that it would be ready for the team when they came in. He was so distracted in his thoughts and what he was doing, he didn't hear Jack come into the kitchenette and then he felt two arms crossing his waist and coming together across his abdomen. It sent a shiver down Ianto's spine at the thought that Jack had his hands on him and on the scar of all places. Jack had forgotten about his scars, either that or he didn't care.

"Is there any chance of an early coffee Yan?" he whispers into Ianto's ear sending another shiver down his spine at the thought he was so close so he closes his eyes and almost drifts into the darkness but stopping himself.

"Please remove your hands sir. It is inappropriate from an employer and could be seen as sexual harassment. The coffee will be ready in 9 minutes. Now, if there is nothing else I can help you with, I have work to be done sir," Ianto replies with no emotion, his voice hollow.

Jack pulls back his hands and puts them in his pockets and then steps back, allowing Ianto to leave. Jack watches as Ianto, not acknowledging Jack, exits the kitchenette and continues with his duties.

* * *

The day carried much as usual, no alerts, no action. Nothing. As Ianto brewed more coffee for the teams afternoon chill out, he observed the team. There was clearly still friction between Tosh and Gwen after what had happened between. Tosh had one day come to see Ianto at home while he was recovering and told him everything. She told him that it had been eating her up inside and then had told him that she and Owen were now a proper couple.

Ianto was happy for her of course but nowhere near as happy as he should have been for her knowing how much she had wanted this. He watched as Owen, caught in the middle of the two women, his girlfriend and his ex bed buddy and friend, tried to play peace maker and failing. There were some rifts that wouldn't heal and some that would heal but after a long period of recovery. This one was one of the long periods of recovery.

A feeling came over him and he knew exactly what it was as he looked up and saw Jack watching him across the hub from the window in his office. Ianto looked right at him, Jack smiled at him and with no emotion, nothing, Ianto turned and walked into the kitchenette and out of Jack's sight. Ianto continued with the coffee making and then took the cups out to the rest of the team. They each took their cup, thanking Ianto with a smile until there was only one left. Holding the tray in one hand, Ianto makes the short walk to the office door and knocks on it firmly.

"Come in," Jack orders from his desk and Ianto opens the door and walks in, leaving the door open.

"Your coffee sir," Ianto tells him and puts the cup on his desk.

Putting the tray under his arm, Ianto turns and heads for the door.

"Could you close the door please Ianto? I think we need to talk," Jack tells him just as he reaches the door so Ianto close it and goes back to the desk, stopping just short.

Ianto stands there, almost to attention as Jack continues with his paperwork. Ianto is starting to get impatient as he just stands there, Jack saying nothing.

"You wanted to talk to me sir?" Ianto asks him, pressing him to get this over with as Ianto had better things to be doing.

"Yes Yan. I do want to talk to you," Jack tells him, putting his pen down and regarding Ianto.

"Pressed black suit, pale blue shirt, navy blue tie, clean shaven, dark, slightly gelled and styled hair, soft, slim lips. Everything seems to be the same but something isn't right with Yan. What is it? His eyes, his eyes are wrong. They were crystal blue like the ocean before and now they are dark. No feeling in them, just voids," Jack thinks to himself as he stands up and walks around the desk and sits right in front of Ianto.

"Why have you stopped calling me Jack? Why do you insist on calling me sir?" Jack asks, looking in his void eyes, searching of the smallest glimmer of light but finding none.

"You are my boss sir and it is only appropriate that I address you as sir. Calling you Jack is too familiar," Ianto replies to his question, his face like stone, giving nothing away.

"Are you ok Yan?" Jack asks him touching Ianto's hand and Ianto pulls it away.

"I am sir. May I remind you that it is inappropriate for an employer to touch his employee in such a manner," Ianto replies very coldly.

"What's going on Yan?" Jack asks him, almost not recognising the man that stood in front of him.

"I don't understand sir," Ianto replies, never flinching, never wavering.

"That makes two of us Yan," Jack tells him, dropping his head.

Ianto turns away from Jack and goes to the door. As he opens, Jack asks him a question he wasn't really expecting.

"Why did you come back Yan?" Jack asks him hoping he wasn't going to get the answer he did get.

"This is where I work sir. This is were I am employed and my name isn't Yan. It's Ianto, Ianto Jones sir," Ianto tells him walking through the door, closing it behind him.

Jack goes back to his desk and slumps into his chair.

"I have lost him. I have lost my Yan. Did I do this to him? Is all this my fault? I don't know how to help him, to get back my Yan," Jack thinks to himself as he sits at his desk, a tear tracing the edge of his cheek.

Ianto had plans and being with Torchwood, in the hub, was the only way of achieving those plans no matter how much he didn't actually want to be there. His plans, REVENGE.


	35. Chapter 35

WARNING: Some swearing and scenes of a some what sexual nature. Covering my own back. Please R&R.

Cracks.

It was the next morning and as usual, Owen was hung over, Gwen was in a mood and Toshiko, well Toshiko was Toshiko. Owen and Toshiko had gone out and Owen ended up getting drunk and Toshiko had to take him home but made him sleep on the sofa while she had the bed. Gwen had had yet another argument with Rhys about going to see his parents and her telling him she couldn't because of work. Jack was Jack and Ianto, he was plotting behind everyone's backs.

Tosh was eyes deep but happily so in a new translation program, Owen was trying to recover in the autopsy room and Gwen, she was catching up on paperwork that Ianto kept insisting on putting right in the middle of her desk so she would be faced with it every morning. Ianto had become cunning. Ianto had a whole stack of files and paperwork to file away which took him to the archives, one of the places he loved most in the hub. People left him alone there.

Ianto had been in the archives for the last hour as while he had been gone, his filing system had been totally ignored so he was having to sort it out. Jack seized this opportunity, with everyone else being busy and Ianto being alone, to go and talk to him. Jack needed to know what he had done, what was wrong with Ianto before he could help him.

"Ianto. I need to know what is going on," Jack tells him, leading against the door frame of the archives.

"Going on sir?" Ianto asks him, feeling Jack coming closer.

"Stop calling me sir. I'm not the bloody Pope Ianto. Going on with you, with us, with all of this," Jack explains, a mixture of confusion, anger and pain in his voice.

"What do you want from me Jack," Ianto snaps, momentarily loosing his stoney exterior.

"You said my name, that's a start. Where are we at Ianto? I'm lost and I can't find the road map," Jack asks him with a little wit, trying to soften things up.

"It's in the SUV," Ianto replies still filling, no wit and no sarcasm.

"That's not what I meant," Jack replies a little angry that Ianto was avoiding the point.

"I know what you meant Jack. What do you want me to say? Give me a clue?" Ianto asks him still filing things away.

"Stop doing that for a start and look at me," Jack tells him pulling him to the side away from it, almost slamming him into a filling cabinet.

"Don't do that again Jack. You have no right over me and you have no right to lay a hand on me," Ianto warns him, eyes burning.

"There. There is some emotion in you still," Jack tells him letting go of him.

"Just one Jack. Just anger," Ianto tells him before returning to his cool, steely state and turning away from Jack.

"Don't you dare do that. Don't you dare go back to that no emotion bull shit," Jack barks at him.

"What do you want Jack? Sex, love, lust, what? What the hell do you want from me? I have nothing left to give," Ianto barks back, pushing Jack away from him.

"I want to know if you have any feelings for me. I need to know if you love me?" Jack asks him, risking a lot.

Ianto refuses to answer him. He didn't want to, he couldn't. The darkness had infected him so much, he didn't know if he could feel anything other than what the darkness brought.

"I need to know if you feel anything when I touch, hold you, look into your eyes?" he asks Ianto, taking hold of his hand, sliding his fingers through Ianto's, putting his other arm around Ianto's waist and pulling him close to him, looking deep into his eyes.

Ianto didn't react, not even a flicker.

"Nothing. There is nothing there. What about now?" Jack asks and he gently presses his lips against Ianto's.

He kisses Ianto harder, begging for some kind of reply but at first, Ianto doesn't reply, he doesn't kiss him back. Jack persists and opens his mouth a little and then a little crack appears. Ianto kisses Jack back a little, not as hard or a full on as Jack was kissing him but he kissed him back. Jack kisses him harder still, using his tongue and running it over Ianto's teeth, silently begging entry. After a few attempts and persistence on Jack's part, Ianto gave in to temptation and opened his mouth.

Within another minute, they were both kissing each other hard. Jack pushes him back so Ianto was sandwiched between him and the filling cabinet. Jack was aroused, Ianto knew it, he feel it against his thigh and that made Ianto aroused. Ianto did want to get aroused, he didn't want to react, he didn't want to be weak but he couldn't help himself. He still loved Jack no matter how much he hated him.

Ianto would probably have gone all the way if Jack hadn't made a mistake, a mistake in Ianto's eyes. As they stood there kissing, hands on each other, intensity growing, Jack purposefully stroked one of Ianto's surgery scars. Ianto seeing red, his eyes flew open. He puts his hands on Jack's chest and pushes him away, their lips almost tearing away from each other.

"No Jack. This isn't going to happen again. Don't kiss me again, don't touch me again, especially not the scars I got because of you Jack," Ianto shouts at Jack before pushing past him and leaving the archives.

Ianto left the files, left the coffee machine, left everything and got out as quick as he could, grabbing his coat and things and then disappearing through the cog door.

* * *

Ianto arrived back home, slamming the door of his flat, throwing his coat on the sofa. He was angry, very angry. Angry at himself for cracking, angry at Jack for cracking him. He went straight to the bathroom and put the shower on. As the water in the shower got hot, Ianto stripped and put all his clothes in the washing hamper. They were contaminated, contaminated by Jack, he was contaminated.

The steam filled the bathroom and after some time, standing in front of the mirror, examining his scars, he finally got into the shower. He stood under the hot water, arms out with one hand against the shower screen and one hand against the wall, water pounding his body, flowing over every inch of him, his head bent down into the water, the water hitting his neck and the back of his head.

He thought back to what had not long happened in the archives. He thought about what Jack had done to make him crack. He thinks about Jack's touch, Jack holding his hand, putting his arm around his waist and pulling him close. His kiss, his gentle kiss at first, then getting harder and him kissing Jack back. Jack's tongue playing with his, massaging and teasing. Jack pinning him against the filing cabinet, Jack getting aroused, him getting aroused, Ianto wanting so much to crumble and cave in, Ianto wanting so much to make love to Jack and then Jack stroking one of his scars.

As Ianto thought about the past events, he felt himself getting aroused by his thoughts of Jack. Ianto raised his head, putting his face directly into the water stream, taking his hand off of the shower screen and running his fingers across the scar down his chest reminding himself of them, how he had gotten them and why. The anger came again, this time hitting him harder. He curled up his hand into a fist and started punching the wall of the shower, over and over again.

"How could you be so stupid? How could you have allowed yourself to crack? To give in? You stupid man. Remember why you are there. Your not there to be friends with anyone. You are not there to fall for Jack again, become his puppy again and roll over. Remember the plan. Stick to the plan. Don't let anyone distract you from the plan. The plan is priority and nothing else matters. Don't crack again!" Ianto thought, the darkness in his mind, the devil on his shoulder working over time, the angel had long gone.

After the shower, Ianto went to bed. He allowed himself to slip into the darkness. He ran through the plan over and over again, refreshing his mind as to what needed to be done. He allowed the darkness to seal any cracks that had appeared thanks to Jack. Ianto's body feel asleep but his mind didn't. It was active, alone in the darkness.


	36. Chapter 36

WARNING: Some swearing.

The First Part Of The Plan.

Ianto went in the next morning as though nothing had happened the day before. He went back to ignoring Jack all together. The rest of the team didn't get much from Ianto, not even Tosh which was unusual. He hated being like this to Tosh but he work to done, a plan to put in action.

Unbeknown to every in the hub including Tosh and Jack, Ianto had been hacking into the Hub's main computer, setting up his own program and linking the laptop that Tosh had given him, to the Hub's computer. Ianto was tracking something, something in particular. This particular something had been irregular in the last month, only popping up every now and again but now, it was becoming more frequent again and Ianto was tracking it, where it would appear next.

While Jack, Gwen and Toshiko were out on a small job, Ianto set up the laptop in the botanical room. There were no camera's in there to watch him, something that Jack had insisted on after Tosh had found footage of Jack and Ianto playing naked hide and seek. She was not amused. As Ianto waited for the laptop to set up, he kept an eye on Owen but he was busy catching a sneaky 40 winks while the others were out.

Once the laptop was ready, Ianto accessed the main computer and accesses the program that had been working away there. He had watched Tosh often enough to know how to take the information gathered by the program and then plot it on a map. Ianto smiled himself when what he was tracking, had become predictable. He would be able to start Phase 2 of the plan soon. As long as everything went well there, the end would soon be coming.

Jack, Gwen and Tosh walk back into the hub, chatting away and Ianto goes to the window, just in time to see Owen awake with a start and made himself look busy as Gwen, Tosh and Jack get to the work stations.

"Have a good nap Owen?" Jack asks him as the girls giggle.

"How does he do that?" Owen asks Tosh and Gwen coming to the top of the autopsy stairs.

"Your just so predictable Owen," Tosh replies and Gwen giggles again.

That was the first time that Ianto had seen or heard Gwen and Tosh being nice to each other. The rift between them was healing and slowly but surely, they were getting on track. Ianto looks around, looking for Jack to see where he was and he was standing in his office, standing at the window, looking right at him.

Ianto looked away from Jack and went back to the laptop. Ianto shut it down knowing that if it was on too long, Toshiko would notice that he had hacked in. It was hard enough hiding it from her in the first place. Once it was shut down, Ianto knew he could risk anyone seeing it so he hid it in the botanical room and he would come back for it later. He returned to the kitchenette and made coffee, like he always did.

He gave everyone their cups and then went to the office and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Jack orders and Ianto enters the office, walks to the desk and puts the cup down.

"Ianto about yesterday," Jack starts but Ianto jumps in.

"I don't want to talk about sir," Ianto tells him and heads to the door.

"But I do Ianto so close the door and come back," Jack orders, not wanting to have to order Ianto.

Ianto goes to the door, closes it and then turns around to find Jack sat on the desk. He walks up to Jack and stands in front of him.

"About yesterday. I apologise for upsetting you by touching your scar. I understand how you must feel about them and how you must feel about why you have them but that is all I apologise for. I needed to know if there was still something between us and there is. There is otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me the way you did. We need to work this out so that we can move on," Jack tells him seeing nothing in Ianto's face, he had become stone again.

"Yesterday was a very big mistake and will not be happening again sir. It was inappropriate behaviour and therefore, will not happen again," Ianto answers him blankly, not looking at Jack.

"For fuck's sake Ianto. It isn't inappropriate behaviour if it's between two people who love each other, who care about each other," Jack tells him getting frustrated.

"I have no feeling either way about you sir. If I were to have any feelings about you sir, I would have to discontinue my employment here," Ianto replies harshly and firmly.

Jack studies Ianto. He knew that Ianto did feel something or he wouldn't have kissed him back or he wouldn't have gotten aroused. Jack just wondered why Ianto was fighting it so hard. What was going on in his head?

"I can't help you Ianto if you don't tell me what's wrong," Jack tells him, soft in tone.

"I am fine sir. Nothing is wrong," Ianto tells him, his features the same, nothing changing.

Jack couldn't handle seeing Ianto like this. All Jack wanted to do was send everyone else home, lock the office and drag Ianto into his room and make gentle and soft love to him. He wanted to help him but Ianto kept pushing him away. It was easy for everyone to say that Ianto needed time but it was hard.

"Are we all done sir?" Ianto asks Jack, wanting to get out of there as he had things to do, plans to follow.

"Yes Ianto. We are done for now but I won't be letting this go. I know there is something in you to save and I will save it," Jack tells him.

Ianto turns from Jack with no word and leaves the office.

"Phase 2 has to happen now. The quicker this is over with, the better," Ianto thinks to himself as he walks back to the kitchenette, feeling the over whelming need to shower.


	37. Chapter 37

**WARNING: This chapter contains scenes of an ADULT, GAY, SEXUAL ENCOUNTER. If you are easily offended, please DO NOT read this chapter. Please skip it and wait for a chapter that will not offend. **

Phase Two.

Ianto was sat on the roof of a high building, open bottle of Whisky in his hand. He had a few mouthfuls but not many. He hadn't brought it just for him but he drank it while he waited. Ianto was waiting and the time was nearly there. He could feel it, the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck where standing up. It was about the happen. Ianto could feel the static in the air building. Phase two of his plan was about to start and Ianto's stomach was churning.

To his right, a huge, 7ft, orange/yellow orb appears and Ianto turns to look at it with half closed eyes. A shadow appears in the centre of the orb, fuzzy at first but getting clearer the further it moves through the orb. It was the figure of a man, a man that Ianto knew well and the sight of him, made Ianto's heart race.

"Hello Gray. Why don't you join me in a drink," Ianto tells him, holding the bottle of Whisky out to him as the orb disappears.

"How did you know I would be here?" Gray asks him walking over to him, Gray not afraid of him but he was still cautious.

"I have been tracking you. You kind of told me how you got here so I used the hub's computer to track you," Ianto explains as Gray comes to his side.

"Do I have to worry about visitors?" Gray asks Ianto, talking the bottle of whisky, taking a sip and then giving it back to Ianto and he takes a sip too.

"Nope. It's just you and me. There is a lot for us to talk about. You can check around if you want, if it makes you feel better and I am not armed either," Ianto tells him.

"I can't believe I am saying this but I trust you," Gray tells him, Ianto never looking at him since he came out of the orb.

"Then take a seat. This might take a while," Ianto tells him and Gray joins him on the edge of the roof and Ianto hands him the Whisky again and he takes it.

"How did you get out?" Gray asks him remembering that he had made it impossible for them to get out.

"You underestimated your brother, something I suggest you don't do again. He freed himself and then me with seconds to spare and then shielded me in the corner knowing he couldn't die but I could," Ianto explains, taking the bottle off of Gray and having a drink himself.

"You didn't get out in one piece though did you?" Gray asks him, not gloating.

"Nope. I nearly died and now have two large scars from surgery and other scars besides," he tells him, handing the bottle back to him and he takes it.

"Why am I here talking to you Ianto?" Gray asks him, confused at the fact that he was chatting with him like they were friends.

"We have something in common. Jack," Ianto tells him and Gray looks at him.

"You are Jack's lover. What could you possibly have in common with me?" Gray asks him and Ianto turns to him.

"I was his lover. That's well and truly in the past. We have more in common than you think," Ianto replies looking into Gray's eyes, so similar to Jack's but a lot darker.

"You've tasted the darkness haven't you? I can see it in your eyes," Gray asks him and Ianto swings his legs around, sliding off of the edge and sitting on the roof with his back to the edge.

"I tasted it and wanted more and more. It consumes my every thought," Ianto confesses and Gray joins him, sitting very close to him offering him the bottle and Ianto takes it and downs a good mouthful.

"It tastes good doesn't it, the darkness? It cures you of every foolish human emotion, love, pain, hurt. When you are in the darkness, no-one and nothing can touch you there," Gray confesses.

"And no-one understands the darkness unless it consumes you. They expect you to just snap out of it. They don't understand how good the darkness feels and they never will," Ianto tells him taking another mouthful and hands it to Gray who takes it.

The bottle was more than half empty and it was having it's desired effect on both of them.

"Jack doesn't understand either. He only tastes the darkness when he dies, never being consumed by it. He doesn't understand us," Gray tells Ianto, drinking the Whisky.

"No, he doesn't understand the darkness like we do. He doesn't see it is a dark lover, arousing you so much that you have to give in, want to give in, spend every moment giving in" Ianto explains.

"Finally. Someone how understands the darkness like I do. Why am I here?" Gray asks him, his speech starting to become a little slurred.

"The destruction of Captain Jack Harkness," Ianto coldly replies.

"Tell me more," Gray almost begs Ianto taking another mouthful of the Whisky and then turning his body and focus to Ianto and Ianto explained his plan, each taking turns drinking the Whisky.

Ianto finished telling him the plan and he was looking right into Gray's eyes and Gray was looking right into his. Ianto felt something stir inside him, the way that Gray was looking at him, he knew what Gray wanted right at that moment. He could feel Gray's heart beating faster and his own heart was starting to match his pace.

"Can you feel that Ianto?" Gray asks him, his focus now on Ianto's mouth.

"Yes," Ianto replies, his heart beating faster.

"Can you feel the darkness calling us together?" Gray asks, leaning a little closer to Ianto.

"Yes," Ianto tells him, feeling that Gray was becoming aroused and it aroused Ianto.

"Will you give in to it?" Gray asks, moving a little closer, his lips almost touching Ianto's, feeling his breath in his mouth.

"Yes, will you?" Ianto asks him, closing his eyes.

"Already have," Gray replies and kisses Ianto.

To Ianto's surprise, there was no fight from inside him, no objection to Gray's kiss, feeling so aroused knowing that Gray understood him, understood the darkness, he kisses Gray back. The sensation of Gray was like nothing he had ever felt. He was barely in control of himself. It was almost ecstasy and all they were doing, were kissing. The Gray pulls away from him.

"Can you feel me in the darkness?" Gray asks him and to his surprise, he could.

When he closed his eyes, Gray was there. He wasn't alone in his darkness. He could feel him there.

"I can feel you. I can feel you in the darkness," Ianto tells him opening his and Gray was right in front of him.

"Then stay with me in the darkness. Free yourself," Gray tells him stroking the side of Ianto's face.

Ianto puts his hand on the back of Gray's neck and pulls him into another kiss. This time the kisses were harder, more intense. Ianto's heart got faster, he was breathing was harder. Gray was the same.

"You know where this is leading don't you?" Ianto tells Gray, only taking his lips away long enough to say it.

"I know and I don't care," Gray replies, pulling Ianto so close to him.

Gray starts to unbutton Ianto's jacket and slips it off his shoulders, down his arms and onto the floor behind him. Ianto tried to return the favour but he was having a few problems with what Gray was wearing.

"Here, let me," Gray tells him and takes his own jacket off and dropping it on the floor next to him.

They looked into each others eyes. They both had fire in their eyes, a fire and burning for each other. Ianto kisses him hard, pushing him backwards and slowly, they lay down together, their lips never parting. Ianto pushed Gray onto his back and lay on the side next to him, Gray laying on his head on Ianto's arm. Their kisses getting hard, Ianto felt like he was suffocating but was filled with euphoria and pleasure.

Gray ran his fingers gentle down Ianto's chest, careful to avoid his scars as if he knew where they were. Ianto unbuttons his own shirt, un tucking it from his own trousers. He takes Gray's hand and gently runs his fingers down his scars gently, making it a point that he didn't miss a single bit. Once Ianto let's go of his hand again, Gray puts it under his shirt and onto Ianto's back, pulling him closer so that Ianto was almost on top of him.

Ianto puts his hand under Gray's top which looked like a tight vest top, clinging to the young man's body. He ran his fingers across Gray's now hard nipples and Gray quietly moans out. Their kisses so hard now, both of them were having trouble breathing but both of them feeling the pleasure in it.

"Have you ever been with a man?" Ianto whispers into Gray's ear, half panting and half whispering.

"No," Gray simply replies, kissing Ianto's neck.

"I won't hurt you," Ianto tells him, kissing him hard again.

Ianto, gently and slowly strokes his way down Gray's body coming to rest on his groin and he gently rubs it, finding that Gray was already aroused but it didn't stop him from continuing and Gray moans out as he does. Gray follows suit, working his way to Ianto's groin finding that Ianto was already aroused too but Gray goes further. He opens Ianto belt, unbuttons and unzips his trousers and slides his hand inside, into his boxers and taking hold of Ianto and gentle stroking him.

Ianto moans out loud as his body erupts into full pleasure and then Gray draws him back into a kiss. They continue to stroke each other, each getting the other off multiple times, each time being aroused again almost straight away, within seconds. Ianto had never felt anything like it before. He and Jack had never made love like that, multiple times in quick succession. Ianto was so in tune with Gray, it scared him but in a good way. Gray knew where he was, in the darkness and Gray was there with him and Ianto liked that thought. He knew it wouldn't last, couldn't last, it wasn't meant to be. It was part of the plan and nothing else. But Ianto loved it, the feeling it gave him, so dark yet in control.

* * *

They lay in each others arms for a little while afterwards and then Ianto gets up. As he gets himself dressed again, Gray sits up.

"Where are you going Ianto?" he asks him and Ianto continues to get dressed.

"I have things to do and I don't want Jack cottoning on to us," Ianto tells him, not looking at him as he gets dressed.

"Will I see you again?" Gray asks him getting up, half naked and pulling his trousers up.

"Tomorrow night. My place, about 10pm our time," Ianto tells him, not asking him, demanding it.

Gray goes up to Ianto, helps him with his jacket which he had picked up off of the floor. Gray straightens his tie and looks into Ianto's eyes.

"I will see you tomorrow then," Gray tells him and kisses him on the lips, trying to engage Ianto in another long kiss but Ianto only pecks him on the lips.

Ianto turns and walks away from Gray and as he walks away, a smile creeps over his face.

"Phase 2 complete," he grins to himself, never looking back.


	38. Chapter 38

Phase Three Begins - Part One.

Ianto goes into the hub the next morning. He arrived just before the rest of the team did and that wasn't Ianto's usual behaviour which let Jack know that something had changed with Ianto. There was a little but noticeable smile on his face and he seemed to have a bounce in his step. Jack thought that Ianto was finally coming out of his dark shell and the old Ianto was coming back. Jack smiles at Ianto and the smile fades. He wasn't back yet.

The team came in and the day went on as usual. Ianto serves the team coffee and Owen spots the smile on his face.

"What's with the smile Ianto?" Owen asks him and Tosh and Gwen turn and see it too.

"None of your business," Ianto replies, the smile a little broader.

"Someone got laid last night," Owen tells everyone in his usual crude manner and Tosh slaps him across the arm.

"I might have," Ianto says quietly but loud enough for them to hear him.

"Who is she?" Gwen asks him, making assumptions.

"That smile isn't from a she, that's from a he," Owen tells her.

"Have you and Jack worked it out?" Tosh asks him and the smile drops from Ianto's mouth.

"It's a new he," Owen deduces and the smile returns.

"Ianto has himself a new fella or bed buddy," Gwen replies, getting a look off of Owen that says, "I just said that didn't I?"

"So who is he?" Tosh asks a little angry at the fact that he didn't tell her about this.

"I'm not saying anything," Ianto tells them and walks off.

Ianto goes back to the kitchenette and the rest of team talk. Ianto begins to smile as things go the way he wanted it to go. He watches as Jack comes to the team while they are talking about what they had just found out.

"Ianto is seeing someone else?" Jack asks the others and they look at each other and no-one answers him.

"Well, is Ianto seeing someone else?" Jack asks them again, sounding like he was ordering them to answer.

"We don't know for sure but you can't tell me that you haven't seen the smile on his face today," Owen dared to reply.

"Did he say he was seeing anyone or not?" Jack asks having a green streak a mile wide.

"You'll have to ask him Jack," Toshiko tells him and then going back to her desk.

The others go back to what they were doing before Ianto had come over with the coffee. Jack goes back into his office. After a few minutes, Jack calls Ianto into his office and he makes his way to Jack's office, goes inside and closes the door, walking to the desk.

"You wanted to see me sir?" Ianto asks him, looking him straight in the eyes.

"I do Ianto. Are you seeing someone else?" Jack asks him, over stepping the line.

"I beg your pardon sir," Ianto replies, acting confused.

"Are you seeing someone else Ianto? It's a simple enough question," Jack asks him again.

"I don't believe that that is any of your business sir who I do or don't see," Ianto replies, the look on his face was cold.

"I want to know if you are sleeping with someone behind my back?" Jack asks him.

"I would have to be your friend or partner in order to cheat on your sir and I am neither and I am becoming uncomfortable with these questions," Ianto tells him.

"I still love you Ianto and it would kill me if you were cheating on me with someone else," Jack tells him.

"I am leaving sir as it really has nothing to do with you what I do in my free time unless you have any complaints about my work sir," Ianto tells him and turns away from him.

"Please don't leave things like this Ianto?" Jack almost begs but Ianto leaves the office.

* * *

All day there was tension between Jack and Ianto and the rest of the team didn't want to get involved. Something was brewing but no-one but Ianto knew what. Towards the end of work day, a call came in that Torchwood was being requested as a strange creature had been reported in an area in town.

"Jack. Weevil alert. Weevil has been spotted in town," Tosh shouts to him through the open office door.

"Owen and Ianto with me please. Gwen and Tosh, stay here and track it and liaise with the police. Tell them that we have this one," Jack orders, slipping his coat on and leaving his office.

Owen grabs his Weevil repellent and side arm but Ianto doesn't. They make their way to the garage where the SUV is parked.

"Who's driving?" Owen asks knowing that it would be Jack and his glare tells him so.

"Front or back Ianto?" Owen asks as they reach the SUV.

"Back," Ianto replies sharply opening the back door on the passengers side and getting in, closing the door behind himself.

Everyone belts in and after Toshiko sends the co-ordinates to the SUV, Jack starts the SUV and pulls out of the garage and starts the journey. All the way there, no-one spoke. Owen even suppressed the urge to make a stupid comment or remark. The atmosphere in the SUV was so thick, Owen opened the window. They soon arrived at the co-ordinates and when they arrived, they saw the police officers. Jack arrives at the cordon, waits for it to be raised and then drives under, parking the SUV and everyone gets out. All three of them walk over to the office in charge.

"What do we have here?" Jack asks, snapping at the officer even though he hadn't done anything wrong.

"We have an unidentified creature and when ever one of these are reported, we are ordered to call you in and you have control. There are none of our officers in there and we have a mile wide cordon around the area. No-one has gone in and no-one has come out. The scene is all yours Torchwood," The officer tells Jack and backs away.

Jack sets off further into the area with Owen behind him and Ianto behind Owen. Jack drawers his Webley just in case and Owen drawers his side arm and spray. Ianto doesn't do anything but walk, watching for signs of the Weevil as they walk. Jack puts his hand up and signals that he can see the Weevil in an alleyway. Through hand gestures, he tells Owen to go round the back and for Ianto to stay with him.

Owen follows Jack's instructions and goes round the back to the other end of the alleyway and tells Jack when he gets there over the earpiece. On Jack's mark, Owen and Jack close in on the Weevil from both ends with Ianto coming up behind Jack but leaving some distance between them. The Weevil sees Jack closing in and then Owen and tries to make a run for it but Owen and Jack close it on it.

Owen sprays the Weevil with the spray as they try and grapple with it and the Weevil manages to knock Owens gun out of his hand and across the alleyway. Ianto watches as Jack and Owen have problems containing the Weevil.

"A hand Ianto," Owen asks him and then being shoved by the Weevil knocking him down.

Ianto walks over to the gun, picks it up, walks over to Jack, Owen and the Weevil and puts the mussel to the Weevils head and pulls the trigger, the bullet entering the Weevils head and then exiting again. The Weevil slumps to the ground and Jack and Owen look at Ianto with horror at what he had just done.

"There, dealt with. I'll get the SUV," Ianto tells them, shrugging off what he had just done and walks back to the SUV and drives it to the alleyway.

He gets out opening the back as Owen and Jack put the Weevil in the back and Ianto closes the door. Ianto them hands Owen his side arm back and gets into the back of the SUV without a word. Owen and Jack get in, each looking at Ianto who was looking out of the window as though nothing had happened. Jack briefly stops at the officer in charge and tells him that the area is safe and then Jack sets off back to the hub.

"Gwen. Can you meet us in the garage. Owen is going to need some help bringing in a dead Weevil," Jack tells her over the earpiece.

"What happened?" Toshiko asks in reply and Jack doesn't answer her.

"Ianto shot it dead at point blank range. One to the head," Owen tells her over the earpiece.

"I'll be waiting in the garage," Gwen tells him.

* * *

They arrive back at the hub. Owen and Gwen deal with the dead Weevil, taking it into the hub. Ianto is about to follow them in when Jack stops him and turns to Owen and Gwen.

"We will be in in a minute," Jack tells them and they carry on.

Once they are out of ears shot, Jack turns to Ianto.

"What the hell was that out there?" Jack asks him knowing that Ianto would never do that unless it was a life or death situation and that wasn't.

"The Weevil was proving difficult to deal with, it wasn't being affected by the spray and it was over powering you and Owen so I dealt with it sir," Ianto replies, very matter of fact.

"This isn't like you Ianto. You wouldn't have done that before," Jack tells him, putting his hand on his shoulder, trailing off.

"Before what sir? Before I nearly died?" Ianto asks him, Jacking knowing that that was what he meant.

"I think you should go home and think about what you did tonight and then make the choice to come back and start a fresh or not come back," Jack tells him, not wanting to say it but he felt he had to.

"If you insist sir," Ianto tells him blankly.

Ianto walks past him and back into the main hub. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he gets his coat.

"Is everything alright Ianto?" Toshiko asks him as he puts his coat on.

"Jack wants to fire me but hasn't the balls to do it himself. He's sending me home and told me to think about whether I want to come back tomorrow with a fresh start or if I shouldn't come back at all. Either way, he is getting rid of me. Pushed or jump, it's up to me. This is what happens when you don't do what Jack wants and all because I would sleep with him again," Ianto tells them and walks out of the hub, passing Jack on his way out.

He reaches the lift and as he gets in, a smile appears on his face.

"Phase three, part one, complete."


	39. Chapter 39

WARNING: There are some mentions and scenes of a gay, sexual nature. Mild references and not graphic but be warned.

Phase Three, Nearly Complete.

Ianto went home and was safe in the knowledge that his plan was coming together and that the final phase was almost upon him and he would get his revenge. Knowing how everyone had act through years of watching the team, they had all acted the way Ianto had planned and everything was going right to plan. As he walked through the door, he knew he had to start preparing for the final part of Phase three.

Ianto hangs his coat up once in his flat and starts work on preparing things for Gray's arrival. He goes to his bedroom and changes all the sheets and puts new ones on the bed, making sure all the pillows were in the right place and everything was nice. Ianto then went into his bedside table and got out all the things he would need and put them on top of the bedside table to make it easier for Ianto to reach. He sets the mood in the bedroom by dimming the lights, turning a few of the spot lights off.

He then goes to the bathroom and gets some towels and then puts them on the other beside table. Ianto makes sure that everything is set, blinds closed, bed made, things out that needed to be out. He then goes to the wardrobe and gets out something to wear as the suit wasn't right. Ianto strips down until he is naked and puts all the clothes in the hamper. He goes into the bathroom and put the shower on and gets in. He cleans his himself from head to toe, making sure that he doesn't miss anything and he washes his hair. Once he does, he gets out and dries himself. He shaves and makes himself smell nice.

Still butt naked, Ianto walks back into his bedroom and gets dressed, putting on things that would be easy to get off for Gray. He cleans up the bathroom and makes sure the rest of the flat was ready and tidy, it was always tidy. Once Ianto is finished, he looks at the clock and sees that he has about 30 minutes before Gray was due to arrive so he goes to the sofa and sits down, picking up a book that was on the side and he starts to read.

* * *

Time seems to fly as Ianto reads and before he knows it, there is a knock at the door. Ianto puts the book down and gets off of the sofa and then answers the door. On the other side of the door was the young, handsome Gray.

"Are you coming in?" Ianto tells him looking at him.

Ianto opens the door wide, steps back and Gray walks into the flat. Ianto watches him come in and then he closes the door and locks it, making sure that no-one would walk in on them. When he gets into the lounge, Gray is sat on the sofa so Ianto joins him, making sure there wasn't to big a gap between them. They sit there in silence for a minute or two and then Ianto turns to Gray and he turns to Ianto.

"So, what do you want to do?" Ianto asks Gray and a smile creeps across his young mouth.

"I want……it doesn't matter," Gray tells him acting a little shy.

"No, go on. What do you want to do? Anything," Ianto asks him again.

"I want to go to bed," he tells Ianto, stroking the inside of his thigh and Ianto smiles at him.

"And what are we going to do in bed then?" Ianto asks him egging him on.

"You know, I want us to be together," Gray tells him, moving his hand further up his leg reaching his groin.

"Oh like that is it? Just using me for sex now?" Ianto asks him, a small frown coming over his face.

"It's not like that Ianto. I like you and I want us to make love together, all the way," Gray tells him now sounding like a young man, pouting just like Jack did.

"Have you ever been with a male?" Ianto asks him wondering if he would be his first.

"No. Never a man," Gray replies, answering Ianto's questions.

"Are you sure you want to go all the way tonight?" Ianto asks, looking as though he wasn't sure but Gray playing right into his hands.

Gray moved a little closer to Ianto, his lips only a few centimetres away from Ianto's, his hand still on Ianto's groin, rubbing it, showing Ianto that he wants him and badly.

"All the way, every way and more than once," Gray tells him, closing his eyes and kissing Ianto, leaving him in no doubt that that is what he wanted.

After a minute or two, Ianto pulls away from Gray.

"Shall we going into the bedroom then?" Ianto asks him and Gray's eyes said all that he needed to know.

Ianto gets up off of the sofa, takes Gray by the hand and leads him into the bedroom. They get into the bedroom and as soon as they walk through the door, Ianto pulls Gray into a kiss and they stand there in each others arms, holding each other, touching each other, slowly undressing each other. Soon, their clothes are on the floor and they are stood there totally naked, arms holding each other close.

"I want you Ianto," Gray tells Ianto as he kisses his neck and shoulder.

"You have me Gray," Ianto whispers into his ear.

He pulls him to the bed and sits down, pulling Gray to him. They get comfortable on the bed and start to kiss each other, hands all over each other and they begin to play, each of them giving the other a hand. Each of them becoming aroused again within seconds, each of them wanting more of each other, not feeling their energy drain as they share so much energy between them. Gray's intensity and pleasure was growing and he wanted Ianto so bad.

"Make love to me Ianto. I'm ready," Gray tells him looking deep into his eyes.

"Are you sure?" Ianto asks him.

"More than sure. I want you," Gray tells him and Ianto smiles, in his mind too, knowing that he had Gray hooked.

* * *

They make love to each other into the early hours of the morning, when Gray is so tired he just has to sleep. He falls asleep on Ianto's arm and he leaves him there until he sees that it is time to think about getting up and getting ready for work. Ianto slides his arm out slow from under Gray's head, leaving the young shattered man asleep in his bed and Ianto goes and makes himself a cup of tea.

He stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, butt naked and he drinks his tea. He goes into the bedroom and quietly goes to the wardrobe and gets out all the clothes he needs for work. Suit, shirt, tie, underwear and socks. He takes them into the lounge where he lays the suit, shirt and tie across the sofa and takes the underwear to the bathroom. He grabs a quick shower and gets his clean underwear and socks on.

He leaves the bathroom and goes into the lounge and gets dressed. As he straightens out his tie, he feels two arms around his waist and feels a head on his shoulder.

"You have to go already?" Gray asks him, rubbing the side of his face on Ianto's shoulder.

"You know I have to go. Remember the plan," Ianto tells him finishing with his tie.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Gray tells him, moving around to the front of Ianto.

"When the plan is done, we can be together, away from here, go somewhere where no-one knows us and be with each other," Ianto tells him.

Gray looks into his eyes and kisses him and Ianto kisses him goodbye.

"Meet me on the roof at 6 tonight. I have something to show you," Ianto tells Gray and he smiles.

"Ok but it had better be good," Gray tells him, walking straight into the trap.

"Oh, it will be," Ianto tells him.

Ianto leaves Gray to catch up on his sleep and leaves the flat. As Ianto hails a cab, he smiles to himself.

"Phase three part two, complete. Part three to begin, get Jack back on side," he tells himself and the cab arrives.


	40. Chapter 40

Phase Three Finally Complete.

Ianto sits in the cab, eyes closed, slipping into the darkness. He needed the comfort, the quiet of the darkness after the night before and events of this morning. He was worn out, mentally as well as physically. He needed the dark to re-energize himself, his mind. He could feel the darkness cover him but not as fast as it usually did. Was it leaving him? He didn't know but he knew he had to draw strength from the darkness. Phase three was almost complete but this would be the hardest part and that is why he had left it to last.

The cab driver chats away in the front, the news on the radio behind his voice but Ianto can't really hear them. The darkness was dulling his senses, he didn't need them in the darkness. Ianto felt safe, I liked the feeling of the darkness. No-one and nothing could touch him. The cab finally reaches the bay and stops, Ianto not realising until the driver shouted at him.

"Oh mate. We are here," the driver shouts to Ianto and he opens his eyes.

"Sorry. I was a million miles away. How much?" Ianto asks the driver, getting his wallet out of his jacket pocket.

"Call it six," the driver tells Ianto, softening up.

Ianto takes a note out of his wallet, closing it and putting it away again and hands it to the driver.

"Keep the change," he tells the driver, opening the door, getting out and shutting the door behind himself.

"Hope you have a good day," the driver tells Ianto as he pulls away from the curb.

"We'll see," Ianto tells himself as he walks towards the bay and towards the Tourist Information Office, one of the entrances to Torchwood.

* * *

Ianto arrives at the cog door, not relishing the idea of what he was about to do but it was part of the plan. Everything had happened the way it was meant to so he had to go on, he could falter now. He took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly as he activated the cog door and it slid back, lights flashing, siren sounding, bars opening. He stepped inside, knowing that the time was now, he had to act his heart out. He had to make Jack believe that the old Ianto was back, he had to do anything it took, even go as far as sleep with Jack. He had done it to trap Gray so he was prepared to do the same to trap Jack.

Ianto clears the bars in time before they closed behind him and he looks around. Nothing was on so Ianto started as he usually would by setting the main computer for the day ahead. While Ianto was on the system, he accessed his laptop which was connected to it and access the program that he had used to track Gray in the first place, transfers the program to the main computer and implants like it was always there and starts running it so that it would pick Gray up when he came to meet Ianto.

Trap set, Ianto goes to the kitchenette and starts the coffee machine. He makes sure that his suit is tidy, his tie straight and then he makes the short walk to Jack's office though it felt like it was taking forever. He finally reaches the door and takes a second before going inside. The door was unlocked so Ianto walks in and finds Jack stood in his office, in his boxers, white t-shirt and putting his shirt on.

"Sorry Jack. I thought you might be dressed already. I can come back," Ianto tells him acting all innocent and turning for the door.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before Ianto," Jack tells him, turning to him as Ianto stops.

"Not for a long time though Jack," Ianto tells him, playing on his vanity.

"Ianto, stay. I'm nearly dressed now and I would love the company," Jack tells him and Ianto smiles to himself and the turns to him with a more earnest face.

"I didn't think that you would want my company after yesterday?" Ianto asks him and the smile drops from Jack's face.

"About yesterday. I was just frustrated with the way you were acting and I snapped a little. I know you have been through a rough time lately and that you were venting your anger and all I wanted to do is help you but you were pushing me away and I found that hard and I snapped. Can you forgive me?" Jack asks, laying his heart on the line.

"You know I can forgive you anything Jack," he tells him, putting his hand on the side of Jack's face.

"Are you sure because I am really sorry," Jack tells him, the little lost boy look in his eyes, Ianto hated that look.

"Shut up Jack," Ianto tells him and gently presses his lips against Jack's.

A second later, Ianto pulls away, his hand in Jack's hair.

"I have been dying for you to do that for ages. I have missed you so much," Jack tells Ianto as he looks deep into Ianto's eyes.

"I have missed you too Jack," Ianto tells him, taking his hand out of Jack's hair, stepping back and moving to the door.

Before he could open the door fully, Jack was stood behind him with his hand on the door. His mouth right next to Ianto's ear.

"I don't want you to go yet. I want you to stay with me," Jack tells Ianto, kissing his neck.

"What about the others?" Ianto asks him turning around to face Jack.

"What about them? Right now Ianto, I want to be with you and they aren't in for another 2 hours. I have missed you Ianto," Jack tells him moving closer to Ianto and locking the door.

Ianto again presses his lips onto Jack's and Jack more than responded. Before to long, they were both naked, both in Jack's tiny bedroom and making love.

* * *

A few hours later, Ianto and Jack are getting dressed in the office, fully aware that the rest of the team were in the hub, working, chatting, doing whatever it was that they did when they thought Jack wasn't around.

"You know that they are going to have questions. What do we tell them?" Ianto asks Jack as they get dressed.

"Well that depends," Jack asks, being his usual smart arse self.

"It depends on what?" Ianto asks him.

"It depends on whether we are going to be an actual couple and stop playing at it," Jack explains, a serious look on his face.

"You really want that Jack?" Ianto asks him, knowing the Jack was about to jump into the trap.

"Yes Ianto. I want us to be together as a couple. We have spent too much time dancing around the issue and nearly losing you, made it clear for me. I want to be with you," Jack tells him, walking over to the shocked Ianto.

The plan had worked too well, what was left of Ianto's black, darkness filled heart, broke.

"Do you want to be with me?" Jack asks him, looking deep into his eyes, arm around Ianto's waist, hand on the side of Ianto's face, stroking his cheek.

"Yes Jack," Ianto replies finding it hard to resist Jack, the darkness wearing off fast.

"Then we are a couple, a real couple," Jack tells him and draws him into a long kiss.

**********************************A little while later, Ianto is finally released from Jack and his office and as he walks through the work stations, everyone's eyes were on him. The team knew what had been going on. Jack and Ianto had finally made up in all different kinds of ways and the thought of it made Owen shudder. Ianto walked into the kitchenette. As he prepared the coffee, he heard Jack leave the office and make the announcement.

"You may have worked it out by now but Ianto and I have worked things out and we are together as a couple. That does not mean that Ianto will be afforded any special treatment at work. I am still his boss," Jack tells them.

"You stupid, stupid man. You just had to fall for him didn't you. Pull yourself together. He is only part of the plan so deal with it. In the office meant nothing to you, nothing at all. You needed to do it for the final phase. Pull yourself together and keep your eye on the ball. Only a little more to go Ianto and then you will have your revenge," Ianto's devil, the darkness tells him.

"Phase Three Complete," Ianto says under his breath, anger filling him.


	41. Chapter 41

This is a little warm and fuzzy and not my usual writing but i'm saving my best hopefully for the next chapter when everything goes to hell.

Phase 4 - Preparation.

During the day, the program that Ianto planted in the main hub, alerted Toshiko slowly, one by one to the flares that they tracked the first time when Gray came. Toshiko plots the flares on the map and makes Jack aware of them. By this time, it was early afternoon and Ianto wasn't ready to implement Phase 4 yet so Ianto goes to the office to distract Jack. He makes him a cup of coffee and takes it to the office.

Ianto knocks on the door and Jack answers it.

"I brought you a coffee. Thought you might want one," Ianto tells him holding up the coffee.

"Just the person I want to see. Come in Ianto and sit down," Jack tells Ianto and he goes into the office and sits down, putting the coffee on the desk.

"What's wrong Jack?" Ianto asks him as he sits down in his desk chair.

"I want you to come here first," Jack tells him, patting his lap, Jack liked it when Ianto sat on his lap.

Ianto got off of the chair, walked around the desk and sat on Jack's lap, putting his arm around him and stroking his hair.

"Before I tell you, I need you to know that we will protect you, I will protect you and nothing is going to happen to you," Jack tells him.

"Jack. You are scaring me. What's going on?" Ianto asks him, taking his hand away from his hair and looking down at him.

"We think that Gray is back. Toshiko has been tracking some flares, identical to those that Gray uses. Toshiko is going to keep tracking them," Jack tells him.

Ianto scrambles off of Jacks knee and shoots across the office towards the door.

"He can't be here again. What does he want here?" Ianto asks leaving the office.

"Ianto. Don't do this," Jack shouts after him as Jack follows him into the main hub.

"I can't do this again," Ianto shouts back as he heads for the cog door.

Toshiko looks at Jack and he nods at her and she secures the cog door so Ianto can't get out. Jack reaches him and takes hold of him and pulls him into his arms.

"I won't let him near you Ianto, I promise. Come back into my office," Jack tells him and walks him back to the office, tears streaming down his face.

"I will need some time with Ianto so please don't disturb us," Jack tells the rest of the team and takes Ianto into his office, closing the door behind them.

Jack leads him to his open bedroom and takes him down into it. Closing the door behind him, he turns around and sees Ianto curled up on his bed, looking like a frightened child. Jack goes over to the bed, gets onto it and lays down next to Ianto.

"I will look after you. I won't let him anywhere near you. I won't let him take you away from me again. I will protect you," Jack tells Ianto, stroking his hair and the side of his face.

"He will get to me, he did last time and even when I was Retconed and didn't know about you. What will stop him from getting me, when I leave the hub to go home," Ianto tells Jack, looking into his eyes and Jack can see fear.

"Your not going home. Your going to stay here, with me. I won't let you out of my sight. I'll go to your flat and get you some stuff. Clothes, wash stuff, anything you want me to get to make you feel more comfortable," Jack tells him.

"Don't leave me here. Don't leave me here alone," Ianto begs him, putting his hand on Jack's hand.

"I won't leave you, I will get Tosh to get your stuff. I will stay right here with you," Jack tells him, putting his arm under his head and Ianto puts his head on Jack's chest.

They spend the next 10 minutes just laying there quiet, Ianto's head on Jack's chest, Jack stroking his hair. Ianto then looks up at Jack and he is looking down at him.

"What will you do if you find him?" Ianto asks Jack.

"I don't know Ianto. I can't bring him back to the cells and lock him up. You won't feel safe with him here. I can't let him go and you spend forever looking over your shoulder or the others. That doesn't leave me with very many options," Jack replies.

Ianto had done it, he had planted the seed in Jack's head and was waiting for it to grow. Ianto moves up the bed a little, his head on Jack's arm and looking right at him and Jack looks at Ianto.

"I love you Jack and I feel safe here with you," Ianto tells him, kissing him gently on the lips.

"I love you too Ianto and I just want to keep you safe," Jack tells him, kissing Ianto.

They spend a little more time holding each other, stroking each other, kissing each other, until there is a knock on the hatch. Jack gets up from the bed, leaving Ianto laying on the bed and opens the hatch. It was Owen on the other side.

"How is he?" Owen asks Jack looking into the bedroom.

"He's calm now but he is terrified," Jack tells him.

"Tosh says that we have Gray located. He is in town," Owen tells Jack quietly.

"I'll be out in a minute. Get everyone armed, we are going after him," Jack tells him and Owen leaves.

Jack goes back to the bed and sits on the side of the bed.

"Tosh has found Gray. We are going to go after him Ianto but I want you to stay here," Jack tells him.

"You are going to leave me alone?" Ianto asks Jack sitting up.

"It won't be for long. I want you to get some sleep while I am gone and I will come back to you as soon as I can," Jack tells him, kissing him on the forehead.

"Be careful Jack," Ianto tells him and kissing him on the lips.

Jack gets off of the bed, climbs the ladder and exits through the hatch, closing it behind him. Ianto listens out for Jack's foot steps and once he can't hear then anymore, he goes up the ladder and opens the hatch. He climbs out and goes to the office window and watches the team getting ready to go. As the team leaves, Ianto goes to the armoury and gets out a side arm and magazine. He puts the magazine in the gun and slides it into his belt

"Phase 4 in full swing," Ianto tells himself as he leaves the main hub.


	42. Chapter 42

Some of you are going to hate me for this but I had to cut Phase 4 down. I got to the place where I have left it and figured it was going to be too long to post in it's entirety. Also, there _Italic's_ again for people's thoughts, (4 block sections). Go on, call me EVIL. Angelwood.

Phase 4 - The Team Arrive.

Ianto wait's a moment for the team to leave. The SUV finally leaves the hub garage and Ianto makes his way through the garage, just clearing the door shutter door before it came down. Ianto quickly, running, finds some cabs parked up and Ianto jumps into the first one and tells the driver that if he gets to the right address within 10 minutes, there would be an extra £20 in it for him. As Ianto sat back, the driver pulled away from the curb with enough speed and force to pin Ianto in his seat.

* * *

The tension in the SUV was over whelming. Jack was driving, more erratic than usual, other things on his mind.

_"I have to find Gray. I need to know why he went after Ianto? Why try and kill him to get to me? Why is my little brother back? Who does he want this time? What is going through his head? Does he really hate me that much? Did I really cause him that much pain? How does he know that Ianto isn't dead? What am I going to do when I am face to face with Gray? I can't let him go but I have to protect Ianto and the rest of the team. I love Ianto so much and can't let Gray hurt him again. Do I kill him? Do I let him walk away? Do I send him somewhere he can't come back from? What do I do now?"_

So many thoughts running around his head all at once, Jack trying to put his thoughts in order but there were too many of them. He had dreaded this day, he knew Gray would be coming back at some point. He had to come back. He would have to see if his plan had worked or failed. Jack puts his foot down on the accelerator, the SUV lurching forward. The quicker he got there, the quicker he could work out what Gray was planning, the quicker he could deal with him and the quicker he could get back to Ianto and tell him that he was safe again.

* * *

Owen sits in the front with Jack, his stare fixed on the gun that was now in his hand, running his fingers along the barrel.

_"What is he doing back? What is he planning this time? Who is he after this time? What does he have in store for the team? Does he want Ianto or does he want someone else? Does he want Tosh this time? Will he try to hurt her or even kill her? I can't let that happen. Now that I have her, I not willing to let her go. It took so long for us to confess our feelings, we wasted so much time, I'm going to let him do anything to her. If Jack doesn't do anything, I will have to step in and shoot him, kill him. Can I kill? I will if he tries anything with Tosh. The others can look after themselves, I need to protect my Tosh."_

Owen sighs as he realises what he might have to do. He might have to step in and kill Jack's brother and Jack would never forgive him for that. He was willing to take Jack's wrath if he had to do it, to protect Tosh. She meant so much to him now. He couldn't imagine life without her now. She was a calming influence on him and kept him grounded when he was going off on one. He loved her so much. He was prepared to go all the way if he had to. He would even sacrifice himself for her. He looks at Jack, Jack was miles away and Owen turned and looked at Tosh, looking out of the window. He wanted to hold her close but he couldn't. He turns back to the gun.

* * *

Gwen is sat in the back behind Owen. Her gaze is out of the window but her thoughts are with her mobile in her hand and elsewhere.

_"What is he up to this time? I should have called Rhys and told him I loved him. I forgot to do it this morning and now it might be too late. Do I have time to call him now? Is he sat at home waiting for me to come home, dinner in the oven? If I call him now, I will fall apart on the phone and I can't do that to him. Should I send him a message telling him I love him? What if this is my last chance? What will Jack do? Will he defend us? I have to send Rhys a message._

Gwen opens her phone, goes to messages and starts to write Rhys a message.

"Rhys,

I forget to say it this morning when I went to work so I am saying it now. I love you Rhys. I really do. There is no-one else I want to be with. Having a bad day at work, sorry I can't tell you more. While be a late one but I will call you when I am coming home and then I want to just curl up on the sofa with you and not talk. Call in sick tomorrow. I want to spend the day with the man I love. I'll even switch the mobile off, pull the phone out of the wall and ignore anyone who knocks. I need to spend time with you and work can sod off for the day. You are more important. See you soon love. Your Gwen."

She wavers a moment, her thumb hovering over the send or delete buttons. She finally brought her thumb down on the send button and the text was sent. She sighs as she puts her mobile down, briefly looking at the other occupants of the SUV and then looking outside again. A few minutes later, her mobile starts to vibrated on her leg so she looks at the display that is lit up. "Message from Rhys," it says so she opens it and reads the message.

"I love you too Gwen. I will start tea a little later then and I will open the bottle of red that you like. We can eat and then curl up on the sofa and watch something you want. As for work, if it gets too much, kick that Jack in the butt and tell him it's from me. Will see you later love and don't work too hard. Love Rhys."

A tear runs down Gwen's face as she closes her mobile, puts it away and looks out of the window again.

* * *

Toshiko looks out of the window watching things flash by as the SUV speeds through the streets of Cardiff. She knew she was meant to be doing something but her mind was elsewhere.

_"How did I not see it before? How did I not see that Gray was still around? Why didn't the program alert me before today? Why today? Jack is going to be so angry with me when he finds out I messed up. "Why is Gray back? What despicable plan has he got this time? Is he just going to kill us this time leaving Jack to come back to a dead team? Has he come back to finish the job with Ianto? What will Jack do if he has come for Ianto? If he is here to kill us, who will he kill first? I hope he kills me before Owen. I couldn't bare to watch him die, not him. I finally have what I have wanted for so long and I am not going to give him up so easily now I have him. I hope Gray is prepared for a fight because we won't back down even if Jack does."_

Toshiko briefly looks at Owen who is looking down at the gun in his hand. She studied his face, the look of concern on his face, the thought in his eyes. She loved him so much and she wasn't going to let Gray take him away from her. She would kill Gray first. Her focus returns to the window as they get closer to the location where Gray was.

* * *

Ianto sat in the car, eyes closed, praying for the darkness to consume him. He had spent too long with Jack, acting like he loved him, the darkness wasn't coming quickly enough. Ianto's body was tired and his mind was tiring too. It was taking up a lot of his energy, acting like the old Ianto. He had to know focus his mind on the task at hand. Revenge on Jack and Gray for what they both did to him, for destroying him almost to the point where he wanted to die, until the darkness saved him, rescued him from his own mind.

"Is that the vehicle we are trying to follow?" the cab driver asks from the front of the car.

Ianto opens his eyes and sits forward, looking where the driver was looking. He was looking at the large, black, Torchwood SUV, hammering through the traffic at some speed.

"That's the one but don't get too close," Ianto tells the driver, realising that he sounded like he was in some old spy movie.

"Right you are boss," the driver tells him as he keeps an eye on the SUV.

Ianto sits back in his seat and closes his eyes again, feeling the gun pressing into his back but he daren't move it. The driver would see and call the police. That was the last thing he needed so he left the gun where it was. It was a reminder of what he had brought it for, what he had to do. Jack always professed to love him but still, Gray had used him to get back at Jack for something that was between them, almost ending with Ianto dying.

* * *

Jack pulls the SUV into an alleyway next to the multi storey car park and kills the engine. The inside of the SUV is so silent, it's deafening.

"We assess the area first, making sure that there are no surprises waiting for us, after last time, it could be anything. We surround Gray, giving him where to turn. I will deal with the vortex that he is using to appear and disappear from Earth if it is still there. We find out what he wants here and deal with it. I don't want anyone taking him on. If I tell you to stand down, you do it, no questions asked. I will deal with Gray and decide what to do with him. Do I make myself understood?" Jack asks the team as they ready themselves in the SUV.

No-one says a word but nod and Jack knows that they all had their own agenda's. He had is own too.

"Do I make myself understood?" Jack asks again this time sounding like an order.

"Yes Jack," they all reply in chorus.

"Owen and Tosh together, go left and Gwen, your with me, we'll go right," Jack instructs and everyone gets out of the SUV.

Jack locks it up and the team arm themselves, side arms drawn. They make their way into the multi storey car, fanning out and being very cautious, just as Ianto arrives in the cab.

"They have stopped mate," the driver tells Ianto and he opens his eyes and he looks out of the window at the side of him and he sees the SUV, empty and parked up.

"I'll get out here thanks," Ianto replies taking his wallet out of his jacket, getting out the money for the fare and the tip for the driving, returning his wallet to his jacket.

He slides forward in his seat, giving the money to the driver and the driver gives him a smile.

"Keep the change mate," Ianto tells him and then gets out of the cab, closing the door behind him.

As the cab pulls away, Ianto moves towards the SUV making sure that no-one was left inside. No-one was so Ianto moved on and followed the path that Jack and the team had taken. Ianto knows where the team were going, it had been set up by him that they went that way, Ianto just had to be careful that he wasn't seen by the team, hanging back a while to make sure there was enough distance between them.

He wanted the team to come across Gray, confront him, surround him in their defensive position and start the interrogation before he arrived there. He would watch them and then make himself known at the right moment and take it from there. Ianto's stomach was in knots at the thought of what he was going to do when he got up there, confronted by the team, by Jack and by Gray. Ianto made his way to the stairs that took people to every level of the car park and he could hear the team, their feet slowly walking up the stairs, careful of what might be coming, them having no idea that Gray wasn't the one they had to watch out for.

Ianto sticks to the wall so if any of the team looked down, they wouldn't see him, Ianto being several floors below them. He hears them reach the top, a pause as the door opens, Jack checking things out to make sure that there weren't any traps, any surprises for the rest of the team. He could handle all of it, he was immortal, his team wasn't. Ianto pauses two floors down as he waits for the team to leave the stairs and enter the roof. It seemed to take forever, his stomach turning, his hand shaking as he drew the gun from his belt, from against his back, his mouth dry, his mind racing.

The team eventually left the staircase and Ianto heard the door shut. He waited for a minute to make sure that they had all gone and then moves up the stairs to the door.

* * *

Jack and the team hide behind some stacks on the roof, his brother firmly in Jack's sight. He observed his brother Gray and it seemed to him that Gray was waiting for something, waiting for someone, pacing back and forth, kicking loose gravel as he paced. Jack didn't think that he would be waiting for them to just arrive and unbeknown to Jack, Gray didn't know that the team was going to arrive, he was waiting for Ianto, the man he had unexpectedly fallen for.

Jack turned to his team and with hand motions and gestures, he told the team that he would be stepping out first with Gwen coming out behind him when he reached Gray and as Gwen was to come out, Tosh and Owen were to come out on the other side of Gray. He tells them that he wants them to create a box around him and to listen to Jack and not Gray.

Jack watches as Gray turns away from them and he makes his move. He stands up from behind the stacks and starts to walk out quietly, he wanted to be in position before he made himself known to Gray. Jack leaves his Webley holstered, he didn't need it, there were three more side arms going to be trained on Gray and if Gray should draw his weapon and shoot Jack, his team would step in and take him out in any way they could. Jack stands in position and then Gray turns around and the look of shock was genuine, he hadn't expected him there and Jack knew it.

"Hello Gray," Jack tells him, no expression on his face, his feet apart with his hands in his pocket, his arms holding his coat back revealing his holstered Webley just letting Gray know that he had come prepared.

"Jack! What are you doing here?" Gray asks him, his heart beat getting faster, his mind racing and wondering what the hell his brother was doing there and where was Ianto.

"Didn't expect me to be here did you?" Jack asks him, giving the team the nod and Owen, Tosh and Gwen appeared from the stacks, flanking Jack, their side arms trained on Gray.

"I wasn't expecting you here, no. I was expecting Ianto," Gray tells him, eying up the rest of the team, working out his options.

* * *

Ianto reaches the door and opens it, gently and quietly. As he passes through the door, he sees Owen, Tosh and Gwen walking towards Jack's side, Jack standing in front of a very confused looking, scared Gray. A smile crept across Ianto's face. Everything was going to plan. He watched quietly as the scene unfolded in front of him, waiting for the right time, the right words, moving into position behind the stacks.

"Why would you be expecting Ianto?" Jack asks him, now confused himself.

This was the moment that Ianto had been waiting for, yearning for, working up to. It was here and he was more than ready. Ianto stands up from his hiding place behind the stacks and walks towards Gray, Jack and the team. He concealed his side arm cunningly, he wasn't ready for it to be seen yet. He walked confidently towards them all, Gray being the first to see him, the look on his face was just the look Ianto had been hoping for.

"Because he arranged to meet me here," Gray tells him and then his focus is drawn to the dark figure approaching them all, the man he was expecting to be the there, the man he wanted more than anything. Ianto.

"I think this where I come in Jack," Ianto tells everyone.


	43. Chapter 43

Phase 4 Complete Or Is It?

The team look around surprised and confused as to why Ianto was walking towards them, his eyes dark, no expression on his face, firm steady pace.

"What are you doing here Ianto? I thought I told you to stay in the hub," Jack asks him, slightly turning to him, Ianto's gaze wide, not fixed on anyone.

He doesn't answer Jack, he just keeps walking until he reaches Gray and he stops. He puts his free hand on the back of Gray's neck and pulls him into a kiss, Gray only too happy to kiss him back.

"What the hell is going on?" Toshiko asks looking around everyone and Gwen and Owen shakes their heads at her.

"Have you finally gone nuts Ianto?" Gwen asks him not knowing whether to aim her gun at Gray or Ianto as he pulls away from Gray.

"I arranged to meet Gray here so it would have been rude for me to not to turn up and leave him standing here," Ianto replies, his voice full of sarcasm, not like him in any way.

"What's going on Ianto? I don't understand," Gray tells him, looking at him with the same lost boy look Jack used to use.

"I know you don't understand. You weren't meant to," Ianto tells him and every looks at Jack who hasn't said a word since Ianto kissed Gray.

"What has happened to you Ianto?" Jack simply asks him, his eyes saying more than the words. He felt betrayed, his heart breaking.

"Haven't you worked it out yet Jack? Your always the one with the answers Jack. The 21st Century is when it all changes Jack. Are you ready?" Ianto asks him, no hint of anger, no hint of pain in his voice, just nothing, emptiness.

Ianto tilts his head a little and studies his leader, former lover, boss, former companion but he couldn't read him. Jack wasn't giving anything away. Jack just looked at him.

"Ianto. What is going on? Why am I here?" Gray asks him, the faint sound of panic in his voice.

Ianto's focus turns the young man who had once tried to kill him and almost succeeded, the young man who he seduced and took into his bed, made love to and all just to get him to this moment. Ianto slides the gun behind his back to his left hand, away from everyone's sight and then he looks back to Jack.

"Come on Jack. Surely you understand by now what is going on? Why you are all here? No, maybe this will help," Ianto tells him raising the side arm in his left hand and aiming it right at Gray's head.

Owen, Gwen and Toshiko take a step back, their aim now wavering between Ianto and Gray.

"Have you gone totally mad?" Owen asks him and Ianto turns to him, something changing in him.

"You bloody hypocrites, all of you. Which of you hasn't even given a single thought as to what you would do in my position? A choice between you and him, after what he did, what he put you through," Ianto starts and then he looks at Gwen.

"Gwen, he was prepared to take you away from your parents, Rhys, the man you profess to love, the man who you are going to marry one day. Remember how you felt in that room, numbers counting down, no way out. You couldn't talk to Rhys, couldn't tell him that you loved him, couldn't tell him he was the only one. Fear filling every corner of your mind, every corner of your heart, your body shaking, your stomach in knots watching the numbers counting down," he reminds her and she fixes her aim firmly on Gray, anger beginning to fill her.

"Gwen, no," Jack tells her.

"Why not Jack? What Ianto has said is true. We can't let him get away with what he did, what he did to me, to Ianto, to all of us. If we let him go now, what's to stop him from coming back?" Gwen asks Jack and he doesn't reply, he knows he can't answer that.

"Toshiko. What about you? Stuck, trapped in that room, about to lose the only man you have ever loved, craved for, for so long. Knowing it was going to end without you ever being with Owen. What if he walks away today? What's to stop him coming after you, Owen, your family that you miss so much but can never see to protect them?" Ianto asks her and like Gwen, she fixes her aim straight at Gray, not wavering an inch.

"Why are you doing this Ianto?" Gray asks him, tears rolling down his face as he watches the man he had fallen for, turn everyone against him with such hatred.

"You have to be made accountable for your actions Gray. You can't just pop in, threaten to kill everyone, try to kill someone and not expect them to wait to exact a little revenge for what you did," Ianto tells him, moving towards Owen.

"Owen. He made you think that he was going to kill you, Tosh, the only one here you truly, with all your heart care about. You watched her cry, tear herself apart for all the things she never said, never did. You watched her fall apart and for what? A joke? A sick little joke," Ianto tells him and Owen follows the girls and aims right for Gray's head.

"And what about you Ianto? Aren't you the same as him, using others to get what you want?" Jack asks him and something inside Ianto snaps.

He feels anger inside him burning away, his eyes wide, fire flashing in his eyes. He moves his aim from Gray to Jack and without a seconds thought, without hesitation, he pulls the trigger. A bullet leaves the chamber, the barrel, moving fast through the air and entering Jack's skull, it happening quicker than a second. Jack's lifeless body slumps to the floor, the team looking over at Ianto, seeing it is Jack and then their focus is back on Gray as they know he would be resurrected soon enough.

"I thought that we were going to go away together, go somewhere where no-one knows us, be together as a couple. You said that to me," Gray tells him, really not understanding what was going on.

"Oh Gray. So young, so naïve, so stupid. I just told you what you wanted to hear. I told you those things to get you to do what I wanted you to do and it worked. I did have a good master though didn't I?" Ianto tells him, briefly looking at the lifeless body of Jack Harkness and then back at the crushed, destroyed young man in front of him.

"Don't say that Ianto. We made love here on this roof, all night at your flat," Gray tells him, feeling betrayed by his lover, tears starting to roll down his face.

"It was just sex Gray. Something that us humans from the 21st century like to use all the time, to control someone, to get something that they want, for fun. It helped me to achieve my goal and got two men exactly where I wanted them. I have the control for once but then again, I am no master at it am I Jack? Not like you," Ianto says as Jack gasps for air as he comes back from death.

He slowly rises to his feet, off of the floor where he had landed when Ianto had shot him.

"So that's all there is between us is it Ianto? Sex?" Jack asks him, gathering his thoughts, trying to catch up what parts of the conversation he had missed out on.

"Why don't you tell me Jack. You're the one that uses it best of all here Jack. Use it to control and dismiss," Ianto tells him, feeling the anger in him rise again.

"What happens between us stays between us Ianto, you know that," Jack tells Ianto, wanting to move him away from that line of conversation.

"And why is that Jack? Nearly every one here knows you, how you used to treat me, how I ran and you couldn't handle that and still came after me and that was just the start. Everyone knows I was just a convenient shag for you Jack, thanks for the title Owen," Ianto tells him and Gwen looks at Owen as if to tell him, "See, I told you he would remember."

"Stop this Ianto," Jack tells him, trying to act somewhere between lover and boss.

"I haven't even started yet," Ianto snaps back at him, the fire burning in his eyes again but it was a dark fire against his blue eyes.


	44. Chapter 44

Warning: A little swearing. Also, references to Suzie Costello and the episode "Everything Changes".

The Truth From Ianto.

Ianto and Jack look at each other, trying to work out what each other was going to do, what the next step was. The intensity of the situation was growing, everyone on that roof could feel it. Three guns trained on Gray, six eyes watching his every movement, no matter how small. Jack and Ianto studying each other, their minds working out every situation, their bodies ready to react. Jack was the first person to dare to speak.

"I found your letter Ianto," Jack tells him, knowing that this was going to cause a reaction, he just wasn't sure how sever the reaction would be.

"What letter would that be?" Ianto asks him playing dumb but only just remembering the contents of the letter.

"The letter you wrote in your diary entry while you were in hospital," Jack tells him without giving too much away to the rest of the team as it was a private matter, Ianto's thoughts and feelings.

"You've been snooping Jack. It isn't nice to read other peoples diary's," Ianto tells him, the anger increasing, burning inside him.

"I found it Ianto. I back traced a program on the hub's main computer and came across it," Toshiko tells him, not taking her eyes off of Gray.

"So you've even got your staff snooping on me now Jack. Well, did you read it?" Ianto asks him, walking away from him and over to Gray, who still didn't have much of an idea as to what the hell was going on.

"I read it," Jack tells him looking to the floor, remembering the pain he must have been in to write that, during the time where Ianto wouldn't see any of them except Tosh.

"How did it make you feel to read my own personal diary entry, something that was private?" Ianto asks him walking past the back of Gray, running his hand along the young man's shoulders, sending a shiver down Gray's spine.

"I hurt me, broke my heart. The pain you were in to write something like that," Jack replies, gazing over to him.

"Then you didn't read it properly Jack. I'm not in pain Jack. I don't feel pain, love, lust, fear, I don't feel anything and I love it," Ianto tells him, everyone hearing the anger in his voice.

"Where has Ianto Jones, the young, shy, sweet guy gone?" Jack asks him, a tear forming in the corner of his eye.

"He's dead Jack. Consumed and healed by the darkness. His fear, need for love, his lust and his pain, healed, destroyed. There was the tiniest of glimpses left of him, I needed him to complete the plan but now that it is finally here, the tiny glimmer left of Ianto Jones the puppy, the sap, the wimp, is being destroyed by the darkness and he will die completely," Ianto tells him, almost with pride.

A tear runs down Toshiko's face at hearing Ianto say that. He walks the small distance to her, strokes her hair and kisses her on the head.

"Don't worry Tosh. You have nothing to fear from me. My vengeance it's against you," he tells her, another tear falling, Toshiko knowing that her best friend was dying inside and it hurt her.

"You say that Ianto Jones is dead but you care enough about Toshiko to comfort her," Jack tells him pointing out the obvious, like Ianto expected him to, he was predictable.

"Two points. One, Toshiko is the only innocent here. She is the only one who hasn't done anything wrong to me. She hasn't brought me down with plainly nasty comments, calling me hurtful names just to make herself feel better. She hasn't lusted over the man I loved since the day she walked in. She didn't try and kill me in order to hurt you because I was once stupid enough to love you. She hasn't toyed with me, my affections, my love since the day I started work at Torchwood. She is innocent. Secondly, that was the little glimmer that is left of Ianto Jones. Once he has died, it won't happen again," Ianto tells him, his voice isn't angry anymore, it was oddly calm.

"So you have grievances with every member of the team except Toshiko?" Jack asks him, missing the point Ianto was trying to make.

"No Jack, just one. Owen can't help putting me down. It's his nature. He uses that defence to stop people seeing who he really is inside, except with Toshiko of course. He loves with all his heart, he is gentle, kind, warm but he doesn't want to show it as he is afraid it makes him look weak especially to you. I understand his need to wear his mean mask and I except everything he throws at me as it is from fear," Ianto tells him, patting Owen on the shoulder.

"Gwen can't help lusting after you Jack. You cherish the fact that she does, play on it, play with her. She hurts inside for having feelings for you as she loves Rhys with all her heart but you are getting in the way of Gwen making that final step. Gwen and I are alike in that respect so I don't take it personal that she would step over me to get to you if you asked her too," Ianto tells Jack, moving over to Gwen and kissing her on the head.

"I don't even have that much of a grievance towards Gray even though he nearly killed me. He was driven by the darkness and hate for you, anger at you for not looking after him like you said you would and you let him down, once again Jack, you let someone else down. Do you see anything in common with all of my reasoning's Jack?" Ianto asks him and Jack looks away, hurt from what Ianto had said.

"Yes Jack. You are the common thing. Owen doesn't want to seem weak in front of YOU. Gwen likes you in some strange way she doesn't understand and YOU use that. Gray tried to kill me to get back at YOU. I turned into this because of YOU, because I loved YOU and YOU just didn't care what that was doing to me. You use people for your own ends and don't care how they are affected by it. Look at Suzie," Ianto explains, knowing that he had just stabbed Jack in the heart by mentioning Suzie, emphasising every YOU to make his point.

"Why did you bring her up? You know how I felt when she died," Jack tells him, the tear finally falling down his face.

"She didn't die Jack. She killed herself in front of Gwen, leaving her with the memories forever. You put so much pressure on her, not even thinking about how that would affect her, ending with her killing 3 people, killing you, trying to kill Gwen and then taking her own life. YOU could have stopped it all but you didn't even see it, the pressure she was under, your second in command," Ianto pushes his point even further.

"It wasn't all my fault. None of us saw she was in trouble," Jack starts and then Ianto jumps in.

"Here you go again. It's never your fault is it Jack? The General always blames his soldiers. Who's fault was it then? Can't have been Gwen's, she hadn't even joined Torchwood. Was it Owens, Toshiko's or my fault or was it all of us? Don't take any of the fault on yourself will you?" Ianto tells him, hating when Jack did that.

Jack remained silent, he knew that Ianto was spoiling for a fight and that someone would get hurt and he couldn't let that happen. He was willing to take it all on himself.

"Lost for a witty retort? No come back. Have I really got the great Captain Jack Harkness lost for words? Well, wonders will never cease," Ianto replies.

Ianto walks round to the rest of the team and one by one, he lowers their side arms with his hand, looking them right in the eyes. Then he goes to Gray and stands right in front of him.

"Have you worked out why you are here yet?" Ianto asks Gray, closing his coat over as the wind was starting to pick up.

"I'm not really sure. I know that you are angry with me for what I did to you in order to get back at Jack and I know that you are angry with Jack. Other than that, I am at a lose," Gray tells him, Ianto seeing in his eyes that he was lost.

"Would anyone like to hazard a guess as to why we are all here according to my plan," Ianto asks everyone and no-one says a word until Ianto is about to explain it and then Gray speaks.

"Revenge. This is your revenge," Gray tells him and Ianto smiles.

"Your cleverer than your brother but not clever enough to avoid the trap in the first place," Ianto tells him, stroking the side of his soft, smooth face.

"This can't be all your revenge. You have worked to hard for this to be it," Jack tells him finally stepping forward from the spot he seemed to have been glued to.

"Oh brothers, don't you just love them. They finally worked it out together but it took them a while to get there. Why should I have expected more. Neither of you think you have done anything wrong and that is one thing I will make you see. You are both to blame," Ianto tells them and he raises his side arm and points it right at Gray's head, the mussel digging into Gray's forehead.


	45. Chapter 45

Warning: There some swearing, not much.

The End For Ianto?

The look on Gray's face was absolute fear.

"My lover was holding a gun to his forehead, pressing it firmly against my head, my lovers eyes dark, almost inhuman, no fear, no emotion, no love, almost not alive. Was he so full of anger? Was he so lost in the darkness? Could he really shot me dead? Kill me?" Gray thinks to himself, hearing his heart beating in his ears, his mouth so dry, hands so sweaty.

Gray looked around the Torchwood team, all of their faces distorted in shock at seeing Ianto holding the gun to his head. None of them willing or able to move, to speak. Mixed emotions running through all of their heads. Then he turns to his brother, Jack. His eyes were wide open, his mouth the same.

"How? How can Ianto be doing this? Why? Did I really hurt him that much? Is he really capable of shooting Gray? Does he hate me that much? Has my sweet, innocent, loving Ianto gone? Can I get him back? I love him so much. Do I have to choose between them? Who would I pick? Ianto, my lover, my companion, my friend or Gray, my little brother, my family. He wouldn't make me pick, would he?" Jack thinks to himself.

"You were right Jack. That wasn't all my revenge. You both need to understand what you have done to people, done to me. You both use people, walk over people, destroy them and now you are going to see the errors of your ways and be punished for that," Ianto tells them both.

"Ianto. Isn't this taking it a bit far?" Gwen tells him, wavering.

"How far did Gray go to kill me to hurt Jack. How far did Jack push me away before he realised I was the one for him or so he says? This isn't far enough," Ianto asks her, not looking at her or concerned with the fact that she was wavering in her aim.

"Ianto. Don't do this. Don't shoot Gray. Don't kill my brother. You won't be able live with yourself if you do kill him," Jack tries to convince Ianto but Ianto doesn't move the gun even the slightest, doesn't take his eyes off of Gray, his finer ready on the trigger, waiting to take the final step to kill Gray.

Ianto had prepared himself for every eventuality. He was prepared to die. He could slip into the darkness for eternity and he was happy to do that. The darkness was his friend now, his lover, his companion and it was the best lover and companion he had ever had.

"The old Ianto Jones wouldn't be able to kill Gray as he was too weak but like I have told you, he is dead. I however am not weak and I am capable of anything and yes Jack, I will be able to live with myself, live with killing Gray. If you don't have a conscience Jack, you don't care," Ianto tells him.

"Don't talk to me about conscience Ianto. I know you have a conscience. There is still a part of the old Ianto in there. I can see it. I can feel him there and I don't buy all this darkness stuff. Put the gun down Ianto. We will find some way of dealing with Gray just not this way. Please Ianto," Jack tells him, almost begging him holding out his hand, asking him for the gun.

"You question my resolve Jack? Trust me, that isn't a good idea. I am fully prepared to accept the consequences of my actions Jack, whatever they might be," Ianto tells him, his arm getting heavy but his pushes through the aching in his arm.

He wasn't just mentally strong now, he was physically strong too. The darkness acted like steroids. It gave him strength. Almost super human strength but not quite. His body had been training for this, the darkness had done that. His body felt stronger than when he was weak, stupid Ianto Jones. His mind was strong to and more than matched Jack's, with all his wisdom, his secrets.

"When you say you are prepared to accept the consequences of your actions what ever they might be, what do you mean? Are you saying that you are prepared to die? What is going on in that head and don't give me any of that darkness shit?" Jack asks him, approaching him slowly.

"You have never wanted to know what was going on in my head before Jack, either that or you just didn't care so why would I tell you know?" Ianto asks him, the muscles in his arm now starting to burn.

"I have always wanted to know what you were thinking, how you were feeling. I love you and if you are hurting, I hurt. If your sad, I am sad. When you are happy, it fills my heart with joy and if you do something great, I am proud of you. What happened for you to think that I didn't care?" Jack asks him, stepping a little closer to Ianto.

"Stay where you are Jack. I don't want you anywhere near me. If you insist on pushing me Jack, I will kill your brother quicker," Ianto tells him looking at him, his eyes burning.

"Ok Ianto. I will stay here. Just don't do anything stupid. Tell me Ianto. I am listening to you now. You are the only person who matters now. Tell me Ianto, tell me why all this has happened. Tell me why you left me all those months back," Jack tells him, wanting to take his focus off of Gray and onto him but also, he wanted to know how things had gone so wrong.

"Don't treat me like a child Jack. I am a fully grown man. You should know that better than most. I know what you are doing. I know that you are trying to take my attention away from Gray and put it on you. Your not as clever as you think and I certainly am not as stupid as you think. You forget Jack, I know you. I know you better than anyone here and in more ways than one," Ianto tells Jack, his arm now twitching with the lactic acid build up in his muscles.

"I'm not trying to be clever and I know that you know me. Yes, I am trying to move your attention to me but I don't want you to do something you will regret and your arm is tired. If you want one of the others to take over, then do that but your hurting and I don't want you to hurt," Jack tells him, seeing that Ianto's arm is shaking from holding the gun to Gray's head for so long and knowing that it was hurting him.

"I won't regret anything. The best thing is to live with no regrets and as for pain, I don't feel pain Jack. Not any kind of pain. The darkness takes my pain away from me and since when have you ever cared about me being in pain?" Ianto tells him, walking around Gray to the back of him, never once taking his eyes off of Gray or taking his gun off of Gray's head and then he quickly changes hands, his arm dropping to his side, aching, hurting.

"I have always cared if you were in pain Ianto. When we found Lisa, it killed me when you were in so much pain because you were torn between us and Lisa and then we killed her. My heart broke for you, I felt your pain. All I wanted to do was take your pain away but I knew that I couldn't. I was part of your pain. I love you and when you are in pain, so am I," Jack tells him and Ianto blinks hard.

"Doesn't that tell you something Jack. You just said that you were part of my pain. You are my pain Jack. You bring me pain. You love me so much, you cause me pain. No more Jack. You can't hurt me anymore. I can't be hurt again," Ianto tells him.

To the rest of the team, to Owen, Gwen and Toshiko, Ianto was increasingly sounding as they he was slowly going mad in front of their eyes but Jack knew better. It was like Ianto was putting a shield around himself, around his heart. Protecting him from everything and everyone. He was hurting so much inside, his heart breaking more and more with every passing minute. Jack knew that if he didn't do something soon, they would lose Ianto forever, they would lose him and that was the last thing in the world he wanted. He wasn't ready to give up on Ianto no matter how much Ianto wanted him to.

"Why can't you be hurt anymore Ianto? Why is it like you haven't a soul? What can I do to change things?" Jack asks him, the fire in Ianto's eyes still visible.

"You said that you read my very private letter. You tell me. You tell me what you did to make me like this," Ianto tells Jack.

"Those letters are private Ianto and the rest of the team don't know what is in them, not even Tosh," Jack tells him.

"I bet you still have them though," Ianto tells him and Jack puts his hand on his jacket where his inside pocket was, where the letter was that Ianto wrote to him the first time he left, before he Retconed himself.

"I knew you had that one. All you need to know is in those letters. I loved you with everything I had after Lisa died, when you killed her and took her away from me. I would have died for you Jack, I nearly did. When we were together, I thought that we were making love but for you, it was just sex. A quick bunk up, something that was just better than self gratification. We came to the table with two totally different idea's of what we wanted," Ianto tells him.

"Don't say that Ianto. I felt the same, feel the same as you do when we are together. I love you and I love the time we spend together, we just don't get to spend enough time together and I hate that as much as you do," Jack tells him.

"I gave you the opportunity to change that but you didn't, you didn't love me as much as I thought, as much as I hoped. You kept pushing me away and every time you did, it broke my heart a little more until I got to the point where there wasn't enough of my heart to break anymore. It wasn't just the fact that you kept pushing me away, it was what you were doing instead of spending time with me," Ianto tells Jack, trying to get him to understand why all this had happened.

"I wasn't doing anything in particular. I had meetings to attended, paperwork to do," Jack starts.

"Gwen to egg on," Ianto said out of the side of his mouth but everyone heard it.

"Ianto. I wasn't egging Gwen. I was curious about her, that was all. I loved you and those meetings and paperwork were to keep Torchwood going. If I didn't do these things, there would be no Torchwood," Jack tells him.

"But you never told me that. If you had of explained it Jack, I would have understood but you didn't. You just pushed me away and hurt me. That's why I ran from Torchwood and from you. You flirted with Gwen, flirted with anyone else that took your fancy and hurt me time and time again. I was emotionally and physically tired and I couldn't take anymore. But that wasn't good enough for you was it Jack?" Ianto asks him, the anger now in his voice too.

"I loved you and I needed to tell you I loved you but you wouldn't listen. When you wrote me that letter, it tore me apart that I had hurt you so much. I wrote that letter to tell you how sorry I was and that I wanted you to give me another chance, another chance to show how much I loved you but you never read it and Alison tore it up. I needed to tell you how I felt about you and that I hoped it wasn't too late." Jack tells him.

"It's too late Jack. You had all the chances, I gave you more chance than most people would but you throw every one of them back into my face. You came to my flat, you sent the others to my new work place, you sent me flowers, teddies, that damn letter. You made my life hell and just because you figured out too late that you loved me. Tough Jack. It's too late. You have done all the damage you are going to do to me Jack and it's my turn now," Ianto tells him.

"It isn't too late Ianto. I know that you still love me. Behind all this darkness rubbish, I know that there is still that gorgeous, handsome, sweet, innocent Welshman that I feel in love with in there somewhere," Jack tells Ianto, almost praying for him to come back from what ever place he was in.

"I hate to disappoint you Jack. He isn't here anymore. There is just darkness here. Just black, empty, quiet, emotionless, painless, peaceful darkness. That is why nothing you will say will stop me from what I came here to do," Ianto tells me.

"Why the darkness? Why pick the darkness over Ianto Jones and his life?" Jack asks him, trying to get some reaction from him.

"You've tasted the darkness Jack. Every time you die you taste the darkness but unlike you who fights the darkness, I embraced it. I fought so hard to be consumed by the darkness after the bombs went off but Dr Harper over there, won't let me go, wouldn't let me slip away into the darkness to be consumed. The darkness consumes me now but too slowly. I crave how it feels. So quiet, so arousing, so painless, so dark. There is no light, no pain, no fear, no anger, no love, no lust. There is nothing and it feels so good. I don't have to feel in the darkness. I don't have to love and be rejected. I don't have to love and be pushed away. I don't have to love at all and after everything, that is just a great feeling," Ianto tells Jack, a strange feeling in his chest, a feeling he had forgotten.

Ianto tightens his grip on the gun, renewing his focus on Gray, his gun still pressed against the back of his head. Ianto's eyes were burning, a tear was trying to form in the corner of his eye but Ianto was fighting hard against it. He didn't want to show any weakness.

"Ianto. Don't do this, you don't have to do this. Please put the gun down. If you kill him, there will be no going back Ianto," Jack warns him and then realises that that might not have been the best thing to do and then, **BANG.**

Everything went dark for Jack. His body crashes to the ground, a trickle of blood running from the hole in his head as he lay on the floor. Ianto had shot him in the head, tired of listening to Jack, making it harder for Ianto to do what he had to do. His side arm was how firmly on Gray again, walking around him until he was face to face with Gray again.

"Are you ready Gray? Are you ready to be consumed by the darkness as your spirit leaves your mortal body and becomes apart of the darkness. Are you ready to face the consciences of your actions Gray?" Ianto asks him, the team all taking a step back from Ianto, releasing what he was about to do.

"Please don't do this Ianto. Please don't kill me. I am sorry for what I did. If I had known how you felt about Jack and what you had gone through, then I wouldn't have done it to you. I don't want to die. I will leave. I will leave and never return, you have my word on that," Gray tries to bargain with Ianto.

"Your word is not good enough. I need to protect everyone innocent from you. I have to protect Owen, Gwen, Toshiko and myself from you. I need to do what Jack would never do," Ianto tells him putting his finger on the trigger, holding the grip firmly.


	46. Chapter 46

Just a short one after that longer chapter.

Oh Ianto.

Nothing. There was nothing. No sound. Ianto hadn't pulled the trigger. Try as he might, Ianto couldn't pull the trigger. There was something inside him, something deep within that was stopping him from pulling the trigger. Whatever remained of the old Ianto Jones, was fighting back. Was fighting from deep within the darkness. He was drawing strength from somewhere and the darkness was losing the battle.

Gray opens his eyes, tears streaming down his face, confusion in his eyes. Ianto hadn't pulled the trigger. Gray had felt Ianto's burning desire to shoot him, kill him but nothing. Ianto hadn't done it. Was he stringing the horror out or had he changed his mind. Gray was very confused but so happy. He was alive. Ianto lowered the gun, a battle being fought inside him. A fight between the darkness and what sparks that were left of Ianto Jones.

Tears streamed down Ianto's face. How could he not pull the trigger? This is all he wanted for so long. It was all he could think about, all he could dream about. He had Gray there, gun in his hand, trapped and he couldn't do it. Ianto Jones was fighting his way back and he could feel it. Ianto turns to the team and the girls all had tears in their eyes. Toshiko smiled at Ianto, a smile that said "Thank You," but Ianto didn't respond. Too much was going on inside him.

He looks down at the lifeless body of Captain Jack Harkness and another tear falls. He knows that Jack would be breathing again soon so he had to leave. He couldn't be there for that knowing that he was the one that had shot him and as though that wasn't bad enough, that was the second time. He looks at Toshiko and she smiles at him and he walks over to her.

"Tell him I said goodbye," Ianto tells Tosh and kissed her on the forehead.

"Don't go Ianto. Please stay," Toshiko tells him and he smiles at her half heartedly.

"I have to. Keep an eye on Gray until Jack can take over," Ianto tells her and walks through the gap between her and Owen.

"Ianto," Gwen calls over to him as he walks over to the stairs.

"Give him some place Gwen. He has a lot of thinking to do," Owen tells her.

He reaches the door and opens it. His head was hurting from all the things that had been going through it. His eyes hurt. He had cried more that night than the all the weeks since almost dying. His arm still ached from holding the gun to Gray's head for so long. His hand still felt the gun, though it was in the other hand now. Ianto slid the safety on and slipped the gun into the belt of his pants and put his suit jacket over it as he made his way down the stairs of the multi storey car park, as quickly as possible.

He reached the ground floor and opened the door. He made his way across the ground floor of the car park, most of the cars had now gone and it was dark outside. Ianto hadn't even notice that it had gone dark. All his focus had been on the plan, a plan that been executed with precision until it came down to him. He had been the weak link in the whole plan when it came to the most important part. He left the multi storey car park, seeing the SUV to his right so Ianto went to his left, disappearing into the alleyways of Cardiff.

* * *

Owen and Gwen stood together, their guns trained on Gray once again but Toshiko wasn't with them and neither was she with Jack. She was crouched down with her back against the edge wall, tears falling but a silent cry. Gray had somewhat pulled himself together but now he was left in his brothers hands. His mind was all over the place. The man he had fallen for had slept with him to trap him, to kill him. Even though Ianto had done that, Gray still wanted him, wanted to be with him.

A loud gasp was heard and then a few smaller ones followed. Jack took in the chilly air on the top floor of the car park, his body racked with pain as he sat up. He looked around and saw Gwen and Owen with their arms trained on Gray, Toshiko slumped against the wall but no Ianto. Jack got to his feet.

"Where's Ianto?" was the first thing out of Jack's mouth as he looked around for him.

"He's gone Jack. He told me to tell you goodbye," Toshiko tells him, not telling him what was running around in her head, the thoughts she was having.

"What do we do about him Jack?" Owen asks him as Jack goes over to Toshiko.

"I don't know yet Owen. One thing at once," Jack tells him and crouches down with Toshiko.

"What's wrong Tosh? I know you are hiding something. What is it?" Jack asks her, wiping her tears.

"He's still got his side arm. I think he could do something stupid," Toshiko tells Jack and he could see it in her eyes that she was serious and worried.

"He wouldn't do that Tosh. He came here with the soul intention of killing Gray but Gray is still here, unharmed. There is something happening to Ianto. I think that there is a struggling going on inside him but I don't think he would do that even though we do have to find him," Jack tells Tosh, putting his hand on her shoulder and then helping her to her feet.

They both walk over to Gwen and Owen and laying his hand on the side arms, lowers them from Gray. He then turns to Gray and looks him in the eyes.

"What are you going to do to me?" Gray asks him, worried which his brother would be more angry with, the fact that he had tried to kill Ianto or the fact that he had slept with Ianto and more than once.

"How do you get here Gray?" Jack asks him and Gray hands him a device similar to Jack's Vortex Manipulator.

Jack takes it and opens it up. He enters some co-ordinates into it and a vortex opens behind Gray.

"You are going and not coming back. Should any member of the Torchwood team come across you again, they will kill you. You have almost killed Ianto and almost destroyed his mind. I know I am not blameless in this, I have a lot to do with all this but you tipped him over the edge. I will never forgive you for that. You are not my brother Gray. You will never be welcome on earth again. Leave now before I change my mind and do what Ianto couldn't," Jack tells him, looking him dead in the eyes, leaving him with no doubt that Jack would carry out his treat.

"When you find Ianto will you tell him that I am sorry for everything before the other day, that I will never regret. I loved him for those days and I will always carry those memories with me," Gray tells him, walking into the Vortex and just as he is about to disappear, he turns to Jack and holds out his hand, requesting his Vortex Manipulator.

"Do I look that stupid. Forget it. I'm not giving it you back so you can come back," Jack tells him and with a sorrowful look, Gray disappears into the Vortex and Jack closes it and then hands the Vortex Manipulator to Tosh.

"Where did you send him?" Owen asks Jack as he lowers his side arm and slides it into the back of his pants.

"That's something for Gray and I to worry about. Let's find Ianto. Tosh with Owen together and Gwen with me. I'll take you back to the hub to get your car Owen. Tosh, CCTV for here and see if you can pick him up," Jack orders as he heads for the door to the staircase, Tosh, Owen and Gwen following him.


	47. Chapter 47

This chapter is more like a filler so I apologise. It sets things up for later chapters. Angelwood.

Finding Ianto.

Ianto found himself stumbling into the second pub of the night, slightly drunk but not drunk enough, not by far. He needed to dull the pain, the shouting in his head, the battle of light and dark tearing through him. He just wanted to drunk himself into oblivion so he made his way to the bar. A young woman and an older bloke were behind the bar. There was some resemblance between them. They must have been a father and daughter team. Ianto made his way to the end of the bar where the young lady was putting away some glasses.

"Can I help you love?" she asks Ianto as he sits down on the stool, looking the odd one out but he hadn't noticed that.

"Double Southern Comfort on the rocks please. No ice," Ianto orders from her and she gets a glass and fills the order from the optics and Ianto pays for it.

"I haven't seen you around here before and I think I would have remembered you as you aren't exactly like our usual's," she tells him looking around.

"I just found myself standing on the step and I fancied getting drunk so here I am," Ianto tells her and takes a mouthful of his drink.

"I'm not complaining. Have seen everyone else in here?" she asks him and looks around.

She was right. The pub was full of hair, dirty, tattooed, pierced bikers and their wenches, also tattooed and pierced. Ianto stuck out like a saw thumb sat in his smart, black suit, clean shaven, no tattoo's, no pierced bits and short, smart hair. He turned to the girl and she was smiling at him. He look her up and down as far as he could, her standing behind the bar. She was slim but not overly slim, wearing a leather waistcoat with white vest top underneath. Long, blonde, curly hair, tanned but not over tanned and ocean blue eyes.

"I see what you mean," Ianto tells her and finishes his drink.

"Another?" she asks him and he semi smiles at her.

"You will have to slow down then or you will be pasted out before we both know it," she tells him, filling his glass and returning it to the bar.

"The plan is to get so drunk that I can't remember. I have too many things I want to forget," Ianto tells her and he takes a sip of his drink this time.

"A woman?" she asks him and he smiles to himself.

A woman he could deal with but this was two men, one more than the other but both were there.

"Wrong sex love," Ianto tells her, staring at his glass, swirling the Southern Comfort around in it.

"Oh, a man. Sorry. Just presumed it was a woman not that it makes a difference. Hurt is hurt no matter who hurts you, man or woman," she tells him, leaning on the bar.

"I guess so. I have too much going on in my head and I just want to escape it and I know, it will still be there tomorrow," Ianto tells her.

"Wasn't going to say that. You seem like an intelligent bloke so I wouldn't say it. If you need to get drunk, get drunk. If you need to get laid, get laid. If you need to cry, cry. If that is what you need, do and no, the laying bit wasn't an offer," she smiles and Ianto smiles.

They spend most of the evening talking, the girl making sure she kept off of the subject of partners and such. Ianto slowly got drunk but not as drunk as he wanted. He was enjoying talking to someone who didn't know him, didn't know anything about him. It made a change and then things started to get rowdy in the pub, bikers throwing insults at other bikers.

"Dad. Will you get this sorted?" the young girl shouts to her father who was at the other end of the bar.

"And what do you want me to do Angie?" her dad shouts back.

Just then, a chair is broken and glasses go flying everywhere. One lands on the bar near Ianto and Angie.

"Are you ok?" Ianto asks Angie as she gets up again.

"Yeh fine. This time," Angie replies.

Things really start to fly around and Ianto watches as glasses fly everywhere, smashing everywhere. It was like what was going on in his mind. Two sides fighting against one another. He had gone into the pub to get rid of it but it seemed to follow him. Ianto and Angie duck again as another glass comes flying. Ianto is then nudged by one man into another man who turns around and punches Ianto in the mouth. Ianto recovers, one knee on the floor and he feels the blood running down his chin so he wipes it with his sleeve.

Ianto feels his gun still in his waist band and without thinking about it, pulls it form the waist band, aims it at any empty wall and fires it. The sound echoing around the bar, everyone stops what they are doing and turn to Ianto who is still stood with the gun in his hand.

"For goods sake. Why do people always have to behave like animals. I have had a very bad day and all I wanted to do was have a drink, get slowly and quietly wasted but no. You lot had to start a bar fight. If you want to fight, go and do it somewhere where you won't disturb people otherwise, sit down, drink, talk but don't fight," Ianto tells them and amazingly, they start to put the chairs the right way up and sit down, more afraid of the fact that Ianto had a gun in his hand.

Ianto lowers the gun but as he does, two police officers walk through the door of the pub.

"Put the gun down sir," one of them tells Ianto, ducking for cover behind a table and then the bikers start to duck for cover, scurrying around like rats in a sewer as Ianto puts the gun on the bar.

"It's ok. I am Torchwood," Ianto tells them as he takes his hand away from the gun and the first officer pulls out his can of pepper spray.

"Ianto. Ianto Jones," the other officer says walking across the bar.

"Is that you Andy?" Ianto asks, recognising the officer walking towards him, Gwen's former police partner.

"It's alright. He's Torchwood," Andy tells his colleague who slowly gets up, replacing the can to his belt.

"What are you doing here?" Andy asks him in his enthusiastic way that often annoyed Gwen when they were partners.

"Having a bad day Andy," Ianto tells him, taking the gun off of the bar and replacing it in his waist band.

"How's Gwen and the others?" Andy asks, eying up Angie behind the bar.

"You will find out soon because no doubt, they will be looking for me and end up here. Is there anything else as I want to go home to bed?" Ianto asks him, briefly getting his attention back from the lovely, blonde Angie.

"I think it will be alright if you go. If we should need to talk to you, we'll call Captain Harkness," Andy tells him and looks straight back at Angie.

Ianto turns to the bar where his drink is still stood and finishes it in one mouthful.

"Thanks Angie. It's been a pleasure. Do me a favour. Go to University like you want to. You are too clever to be a bar maid," he tells her with a smile.

"If you ever fancy a chat, I am here most nights," Angie tells him with a smile and Ianto smiles back.

He leaves Andy trying to chat Angie up, walking through the people he had scared to death, none of them daring to look at Ianto and for a second, the darkness reared it's head and Ianto liked it, like it that he had caused that fear. He stepped into the nights air, cool on his face, clean sea air blowing in over the bay. He looked around at all the people that were walking around.

Couples on a date, groups of lads showing off to groups of girls, drunk girls falling over themselves. A young lad from a party of lads, celebrating a birthday, an 18th, probably his, was throwing up in a doorway as another was peeing against a shop shutter. This was human life. This is what it was all about. Dates, celebrations, young, innocent fun and what did Ianto have? Nothing.

He hunched himself into his jacket and then headed for home, stopping off on the way at an off licence, getting a bottle of Southern Comfort for home as he didn't have any alcohol at home. He eventually got home, almost sober again, the battle still going on inside his heart and mind. "Which one will win? Me or the darkness?" Ianto asked himself as he climbed the stairs to his door. He opens the door, walks in and closes the door behind himself, locking it. He walked straight to the kitchen and got himself a glass, opening the bottle he had gotten and poured himself a glass, taking the glass and bottle into the lounge.

He left the bottle on the table and then carried on to the bedroom where he stripped naked. He throw the suit, shirt and boxers to the hamper, missing but he didn't care. He needed a shower. He could feel Jack on himself, he felt Gray's lips on his. He had to be clean. Drinking the room temperature, almost golden liquid in his glass, sliding down his throat, warming every corner of him as it hits his stomach, he goes into the bathroom.

********************

"I just got a report of a man fitting Ianto's description, discharging a fire arm inside a pub Jack," Toshiko tells Jack over her earpiece from the comfort of Owens car.

"Where?" Jack asks her as he drives through town in the black Torchwood SUV with Gwen at his side.

"The Old Cow pub. It's a biker place," Owen tells Jack, knowing a little more about the place than Toshiko.

"Meet me there," Jack tells Owen and they make their way to the pub.


	48. Chapter 48

Warning: Scenes of vomiting. Just a little one this time. Sorry. Angelwood.

We Need To Work This Out.

Ianto gets out of the shower, the water had gone cold for the third time so it was about time he got out. He turned the water off and slid the door back. He grabbed a towel from the side and wrapped it around his waist and walk to the mirror. Ianto wipes the steam off of the mirror and looks at himself. He looked old, older than he actually was. This constant battling inside him was taking it's toll on him. He picks up the glass that was on the side, covered in condensation and takes a mouth full.

He walks into the bedroom, towel around his waist and glass in his hand and sits on his bed. The sheets were a mess, the pillows all over the place, the duvet all over to one side, remnants of Gray's and his meeting the night before. He needed to change the sheets before he could even think about getting in so he puts his glass down on a shelf and started stripping the sheets, the duvet cover, the pillow cases, anything that had Gray's smell on it.

He dumps them on the hamper but then can't be bothered to make the bed up again so he leaves it. He finishes his drink and puts the glass on the side and then goes to his drawers, taking his towel off dumping it on the floor. He gets out some clean boxers, putting them on but then he couldn't be bothered to put PJ's or clothes on so he puts his dressing gown on instead, finishing with some clean socks. He picked up his glass and decided that he needed a top up so he left that bedroom and went back into the lounge where he nearly dropped his glass with shock.

There sat on the sofa was Captain Jack Harkness, glass of Southern Comfort in his hand and feet on Ianto's coffee table, one of Ianto's pet hates.

"Figures," Ianto simply says as he walks to the table, picking up the bottle and pouring himself a generous glass full then putting the bottle back on the table.

"I would offer you one but it seems that you have helped yourself to one already," Ianto tells Jack a little annoyed that he didn't ask him first.

"Don't mind do you?" Jack asks him, being totally beside the point as it was already done.

"Feet," Ianto tells him and Jack takes his feet off of the table forgetting that Ianto hated that and always had to tell him, Ianto usually reminding him that it wasn't polite to put your feet up on the furniture in someone else's place.

"Aren't you going to sit down? You were in that shower long enough," Jack asks him, patting the sofa with his free hand and Ianto just stands and looks at him.

"What are you doing here Jack?" Ianto asks him blankly, no smile, no frown.

"We need to work this out Ianto. We need to sort out whatever has gone on," Jack tells him sitting forward.

"Why tonight? Don't you think that I have been through enough today and yes Jack, I know that I caused it all and that is something that I have to deal with. Can't you just leave me alone? I have too much going on in my head without you adding to it," Ianto tells Jack taking a good mouthful of the strong smelling, golden ambrosia in his glass.

"And you think you are going to find the answers in the bottom of a bottle?" Jack asks him putting his glass down and getting up.

"I'm not an idiot Jack. I know the answers aren't at the bottom of a bottle. I fancied getting drunk for once in my life. Everyone else does it so why can't I?" Ianto tells Jack as Jack moves right in front of him.

"We need to get this sorted out before it is too late to fix," Jack tells him, putting his hands on Ianto's waist.

"No Jack," Ianto tells him as he backs away from his hands and walks to the main door of his flat and he opens it.

"I want you to leave Jack," Ianto tells him looking out into the stair case of the flats.

"But….," Jack starts.

"NOW! LEAVE!" Ianto shouts at him, his voice echoing through the bowels of the building.

Jack begrudgingly heads for the door and steps out turning around. He leans in to kiss Ianto goodnight and ends up almost kissing Ianto's front door as it is slammed in his face, locks being thrown on. Jack looks at the door for a moment and then leaves.

Ianto walks back to the sofa and sits down, pouring more alcohol into his glass. He stares at the glass in his hand and then the almost empty glass of Jack's on the table and tears start to fall from his eyes. With the glass still in his hand, Ianto curls up on the sofa, head laying on the arm of the sofa, wrapped in his dressing gown.

* * *

Ianto awakes the next morning to the sound of his mobile ringing on the coffee table and the first thing he feels is his head splitting open as he opens his eyes, fresh sunlight streaming through his windows, the day had long begun. The next thing he felt was the alcohol in his stomach attempting to make a quick exit from his body. He jumps up off of the sofa, his head pounding away to an inaudible beat, his foot squelching in a patch of alcohol soaked carpet where he dropped his glass when he feel asleep and he dashes to the bathroom only just making it in time.

He throws up, his stomach crapping and hurting as he did, his head hurting more. Once done, he gets up, flushing the toilet and he goes to the mirror. "I have aged since last night," Ianto thinks to himself as he turns the cold tap on, putting his hands under it, cupping them to gather up some cold water and then splashing in on his face. He suddenly remembered why drinking last night maybe wasn't the best idea as he hadn't eaten in days and the last thing his stomach needed was alcohol. The thought of food was enough to make him dive for the toilet again.

Once he had repeated the process of cleaning himself up somewhat, he slowly strolled into the lounge, squinting as the sun was shining brightly in the lounge, his head couldn't take the extra strain of the light, not after his hurling episode which had strengthened the banging headache he already had. Arriving in the kitchen, he found what he was looking for in the drawer under the sink and got himself a small glass, only half filled with water and he dropped two in.

The water started to fizz as the Paracetamol started to dissolve in the water, the fizzing sounded as though it was being amplified by all the amps at Glastonbury all at once and Ianto was stood in front of them. It was a necessary evil. Once the Paracetamol had dissolved, Ianto picked up the glass and down the whole thing at once, the taste was dreadful and Ianto had to use everything he had to stop him from throwing it back up in the sink. Ianto rinsed the glass out, putting it on the side and walked back into the lounge.

He looked up at the clock, barely able to focus on the hands but he eventually did. 12:54pm. Ianto had missed most of the day and should have been in work 5 hours ago but he didn't care. He was going to bed and he didn't even care that the bed wasn't made. That was the last thing on his mind. Ianto gets to the bedroom, goes to the windows and closes the blinds and then goes to the bed and gets in. He pulled the duvet over his head and shut his eyes, his head still banging away, his stomach still weak, empty and cramped.


	49. Chapter 49

Recovery.

Ianto awoke early the next morning, his headache had gone but something else had taken it's place. His stomach cramped in pain at it being so empty, he hadn't eaten in a while and knew that he would have to before he ended up in hospital or something like that. Either way, his stomach was taking to him and he needed to answer it. He throw the duvet back and climbed out of bed. It was 4am so Ianto had plenty of time before he had to go to work. He went to the kitchen and put the kettle on and then he looked in the fridge.

He had neglected to go shopping recently so there wasn't really anything in the fridge for breakfast. He close the fridge again and went to the cupboard where he found half a loaf of wholemeal bread.

"Toast it is then," Ianto tells himself as he gets some bread out and puts it in the toaster. The kettle clicks so Ianto makes himself a cup of tea while the bread toasts and takes a sip of the hot, fresh tea, almost instantly feeling better though his stomach wasn't really agreeing with him. It wanted food but that was on it's way. The toast popped up and Ianto buttered it, he only ever used butter, the proper stuff. He took his tea and toast to the sofa where he tucked into his breakfast, not too fast though, he would be sick otherwise.

Finishing his toast, Ianto just happened to look to the floor where he sees a darker patch on his carpet. He knew what it was, he had stood in it the day before, squelching under his foot. Ianto knew that he would have to clean it up soon before it drove him nuts, that was just the way he was, tidy. Ianto takes his plate, cup and the two glasses from the night before into the kitchen and washes them, putting them away afterwards. He dug his carpet cleaner and brush out and cleaned the now dry patch of alcohol out of his carpet.

Ianto went around the flat cleaning up things that had been left throughout the last week while he went through his one man mission to destroy Jack and Gray, almost killing himself in the process. When he was done dusting, making the bed, putting on the wash, he went into the bathroom and turned the shower on and stripped. He got in the shower and did everything he needed to do and when he was done, he already felt better but there was still work to do.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he walked over to the mirror, wiping it and almost had a heart attack. He looked almost as haggard a tramp. He reached for the shaving gel and applied it to his face and then proceeded to attack himself with his razor. This was the first time in two days that he had shave and his face felt instantly better as he applied the cooling gel to his face. He finished tarting himself up and then went into the bedroom. A drop of water from his hair trickled down his back sending a shiver down his spine.

He got dressed in his usual shirt, tie and suit and looking in the mirror at himself, he wondered why he bothered dressing in a suit at all, he was the only one who did. But that was Ianto Jones. Always early to work, always in a suit, always ready with the coffee but why? Things hadn't really resolved themselves in his head. There was still a war going on but Ianto was winning though he wasn't sure what this Ianto was all about.

With everything that had gone on, he had become very lost. He wasn't quite sure who he was anymore. He knew that he didn't want to be the obedient Ianto anymore, the one that rolled over all the time and did everything that people wanted him to do, almost like a slave. He also didn't want to be the dark, uncompromising, twisted Ianto from the past couple of months. He had nearly destroyed himself. Ianto didn't know who he was and he needed to find out who he was again.

Ianto looked at the time and realised that he would be late for work but then he thought to himself.

"Why should I be in work at 7am. It's alright for Gwen and Owen to walk in when ever they want, give some bull excuse and Jack waves it off so why can't I?" Ianto asks himself.

Ianto decide that he would go in at 8:30 instead of 7:00 and that he would go window shopping to kill the time.

* * *

Ianto walked through the cog door, bang on 8:30 am and Jack was already waiting for him, leaning against the railings.

"What time do you call this? I gave you allowances for yesterday," Jack tells Ianto as though he was meant to be grateful and should have been in early to pay Jack back for his allowance.

"I'm early. It isn't 9:00 yet. Don't worry, I will make the hours up for yesterday even though I haven't had a sick day since I started here. I will have your coffee ready in 10 minutes and I will bring it to your office," Ianto tells him hanging his coat up.

"I was kidding Ianto about making allowances. You don't have make the time up. I just expected you in early as usual," Jack tells him stepping towards Ianto and tries to give him a hug but Ianto steps back.

"Yeh. About that. There are going to be new rules Jack. You go to your office and I will see you in there with your coffee and then we will go through the new rules," Ianto tells him firmly, letting him know that things were going to change.

"Oh. I will be waiting in the office then," Jack replies, feeling rather deflated and put back in his place.

Ianto walked into the kitchenette and had a shock. I was spotless then what did he really expect. They probably didn't use it while he was away. He totally forgot the fact that he had left everything dirty when he left for the meeting on the roof. He inspected the coffee machine and it was spotless so Ianto loaded it up and started it. It took 5 minutes for there to be enough coffee to do Jack one so Ianto poured him a cup full and took it to Jack's office. He knocks on the door and waits for a reply.

"Come in Ianto," Jack barks and Ianto does and takes the coffee to the desk and sits down in the chair.

"Right. What are these new rules?" Jack asks Ianto, sitting back in his chair, holding the hot coffee and sipping it.

"Work is work Jack. No hands around my waist, no kissing, no trying to drag me into the office to have sex with me and that brings me to us. I need some space Jack. I need to work out who I am. These last few months have got me so screwed up, I need to work out who I am. Can you respect that and let me go? I need to do my own thing, I need space?" Ianto asks him.

"I can respect the fact that you need to find yourself again. You haven't been yourself for ages and I know that it is my fault too. Are you saving that we are splitting up?" Jack asks him, hoping to god that Ianto says no.

"I need time apart from you Jack. I need to work out if "Us" is what I really need and want. I know you love me but you also need to work out if I am what you truly want, for the rest of my life want. I want to be in this for the long haul if I decide that this is what I want. I'm not saying never Jack, just not right now and anyway, you might find someone better," Ianto tells him, trying to not to be cold.

"Nothing is going to change the fact that I love you Ianto but if you need space and time to find yourself, I respect that. I am here for you no matter what you decide Ianto and if you want someone to hold you and tell you your doing fine, my office door is always open to you. Would it be too much if I asked you for a kiss before we part company so to speak?" he asks Ianto, not wanting any of this but if that was what Ianto needed, he would have to go along with it.

"A goodbye kiss so to speak. I didn't know you were that soppy Jack," Ianto tells him getting up from the chair and walking around the desk to Jack who gets up.

Jack looks deep into his eyes and Ianto looks right into his. Ianto feels his love for Jack deep in his heart and he knew that Jack loved him but after all that had happened over the last few months, Ianto didn't know how much Jack loved him and that was something that Ianto had to work out in his own time. Jack moves a little closer to Ianto and then feels awkward as Ianto had told him no touching and Ianto sees that Jack is feeling awkward.

"It's ok Jack but just this time," Ianto tells him and Jack gently puts his arms around Ianto's waist, pulling him a little closer and Ianto not resisting.

Jack presses his lips gently against Ianto's in a soft and gentle kiss and Ianto kisses Jack back. He likes the way that Jack's lips felt against his. To Jack's surprise, Ianto kisses him harder but Jack wasn't complaining. He loved Ianto and loved kissing him. It was so good to be that close to Ianto again. Jack kisses him harder back and then Ianto opens his mouth and as Jack does, Ianto starts to tease his tongue with his own. After a minute or two, Ianto pulls away from Jack.

"That was one hell of a goodbye kiss," Jack tells him looking into Ianto's eyes, his eyes not saying anything but in a good way this time.

"Well I needed to give you something to remember me by," Ianto tells him as he makes his way back around the desk.

"I love you Ianto. Don't forget that," Jack tells him as he leaves.

Ianto makes his way back to the kitchenette just as the rest of the team enter the hub. Jack watches out of his office window as the old team are back together. The atmosphere wasn't right between them but Jack knew that that would soon heal. Jack smiles at Ianto as Ianto looks up and smiles at him. Jack knew that he was healing and didn't mind waiting for him. He loved him.


	50. Chapter 50

WARNING: Scenes of a GAY SEXUAL NATURE and some swearing. May not be suitable for easily offended people and younger readers.

Disclaimer: I don't not own the song "Raindrops", I just think it's a great tune.

Finding Himself.

The next week for Ianto was very much normal, back in the old routine though his relationship with the rest of the team had taken time to heal. None of them had guessed or believed that Ianto could do something so dark, so evil and so calculated. Things were getting back on track between them but it wasn't the same and probably wouldn't be again.

Things were awkward between Jack and Ianto, more than the others. Ianto knew that Jack was finding it hard not to touch him or kiss him and Ianto was finding it hard too. Ianto would look over to the office and catch Jack watching him, a smile on his face but Ianto knew that Jack was hurting at not being able to be with him but Ianto had to work things out first. There had been one question out of them all that was running through his head constantly. Was he gay?

As Ianto cleared up the kitchenette, he thought to himself.

"Am I gay or am I bisexual? I loved Lisa, she was my first love but after she had died, I didn't think that I could love again so when I fell for Jack, it rather took me by surprise. I had never seen a guy in that way, I had never felt about a man the way I did about Jack. I have to find out whether it is that I am gay or if it is Jack as a person that I am attracted to," Ianto tells himself.

Ianto had been working himself up all week for tonight but he was still nervous about what he was going to do. He had never been to a Gay Club before and he wasn't really sure what he would find and what would happen and he wasn't sure if he would like the result. He hoped that no-one there would catches his eye and he could go home alone safe in the knowledge that he tried.

"What are your plans tonight Ianto?" Gwen asks him, seeing that he was deep in thought.

"I'm going to a club for the first time," Ianto replies and then realising that Owen was stood behind her.

"Oh, a gay club," Owen replies.

"Shut up Owen. It has nothing to do with you what club it is," Toshiko tells him, smiling at Ianto as she feels how uncomfortable he is.

"Hope you have a good night anyway and don't get too drunk. We need you in the morning," Gwen smiles at him and he smiles back.

"It's good to see Ianto with a smile on his face. He is quite handsome with a smile," Gwen thinks to herself.

*****************************************

Ianto stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. Black, clean, polished boots, the Caterpillar ones he saved for best. Black, pressed but with no crease down the middle, trousers. Amazingly white, tight, body hugging V-necked T-shirt and a dark purple shirt over that. His hair was his usual style and he smelt amazing if he did think so himself. He was clean shaven and moisturised.

Checking himself over in the mirror, he makes sure that everything is straight and then goes into the lounge where he picks up his wallet, mobile and flat keys, slipping them into his trouser pockets as he wasn't going to take his coat, it was far to warm for it. Ianto performed his usual checks making sure that everything was secure and off and then he left the flat, the cab would be there soon. When he opened the main door to the flats, his cab was already waiting and he got inside. All the way there he thought about what he was about to do.

*****************************************

Ianto stood on the curb looking at the building in front of him, neon lights flashing brightly, two huge bouncers stood at the door. Ianto took a deep breath in and headed for the door. He pasted the bouncers no problem and stepped into the nightclub. It was just like every other nightclub in Cardiff. Huge dance floor, very long bar, table and chairs to the sides of the dance floor against the walls, podiums for dancing. The only difference was that there were way more men here.

Ianto searched for the path of least contact and made his way to the bar were he ordered a glass of red and was served by a tall, muscular, young, blonde Welshman. Ianto looked around, very uncomfortable in his new surroundings and then his drink landed in front of him.

"First time?" the barman asked Ianto as he put the glass down in front of Ianto.

"How can you tell? How much?" Ianto asks him getting out his wallet.

"Let's just say I can tell. This ones on me. The names Marcus," the barman tells Ianto offering him his hand and Ianto shakes it.

"Ianto," he simply replies as their grips releases, Ianto looking at him shyly, a little uneasy with the physical contact.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to jump the bar, rip your clothes off and have you on the dance floor in front of everyone. I'm straight with a beautiful, pregnant girlfriend," Marcus tells him but Ianto doesn't respond, his tension and nervousness not subsiding.

"You really are nervous aren't you. If it helps, I'll tell you the does and don'ts," Marcus tells him and Ianto smiles at him with relief that someone wanted to help him without expecting something back.

Marcus spent the next 20 minutes running through the "Does and Don'ts" and who not to touch with anyone's.

****************************************

After 2 hours and a couple of glasses of red, Ianto felt more relaxed and at ease. The volume of the music was rising by the minute. Most of the music Ianto didn't know, clubbers music but Ianto was starting to get into it as more people flooded in. Groups of women, groups of men, mixed groups and straight people who wanted a night out without being hit on.

Ianto now had his back to the bar, sat on the swivelling barstool and was checking the dance floor and his eyes rested upon one man. He was beautiful. Tall, strong, muscular frame, strong muscular arms, dark short hair, handsome face. He was wearing much the same as Ianto but no shirt, he seemed proud of his body and with a body like his, he should be.

Ianto watches as his friend/lover whispers something in his ear and me smiles and then his friend/ lover looks right at Ianto, a sudden feeling of fear rushes Ianto's body as he had been spotted watching him, his body unable to move, his palms very sweaty and his mouth dry. Then the man that he had been watching turned and looked right at him, the look on Ianto's face must have been that of petrified fear as the guy smiled at him.

Ianto couldn't smile, he couldn't breath, he could move. He was frozen to the spot with fear. The guy then waved Ianto over and all he could do was look around to see how he meant but Ianto was alone at the bar. He waved Ianto over again and Ianto just pointed to himself and the guy nodded. Ianto looked over at Marcus who had seen what was going on and he smiled at Ianto and mouth, "Go on," to him. Ianto finished the remains of his glass of red and somehow managed to peel himself off the stool and start walking over to the guy he had been eying up.

Ianto finally reached him and his friend back off and starting talking to some other guy, leaving them both alone in the middle of a crowded dance floor. At first Ianto didn't look at the guys face, he would have to look up as the guy was taller than Ianto was. He put his finger under the end of Ianto's chin and lifting Ianto's chin, makes his gaze meet his own.

"Relax," he tells Ianto and smiles, Ianto watching as his beautiful, full, pink lips curled into a smile and all Ianto wanted to do was kiss them. Instead, Ianto just smiles at him.

"The name is Matt," he leans in and whispers into Ianto's ear, sending a shiver down his spine as he felt Matt's breath against his ear and neck.

"Mine is Ianto," he tells Matt, whispering into his ear as he bends down so Ianto could reach.

"Nice strong Welsh name," Matt tells him with a smile and Ianto smiles back, his tension easing.

They both stood there not saying anything to each other for a minute and then Matt put his arms around Ianto's waist and gently pulling him closer to him, only leaving a little gap between them. Ianto glanced down at Matt's arms around him and then looked up at him. He had a smaller smile on his face now. Ianto feeling a little uncomfortable, put one arm around his strong, toned waist and the other around his neck, his fingers just brushing through the bottom of his hair.

"Don't do anything your not comfortable with," Matt whispers into Ianto's ear, catching the bottom of Ianto's ear as he spoke, a shiver racing done his spine as he felt Matt's lip on his.

The urge to kiss Matt was getting stronger and Ianto was finding it very hard to resist that urge. A familiar song starts to play in the club. A dance remix of Raindrops. Gwen played it a lot when they were pulling a long night in the hub. Ianto couldn't help but move to it and Matt joined him, pulling Ianto a little closer, their pelvises bump against each others. Ianto caught Matt watching him and he couldn't take it anymore.

Putting a little pressure on the back of Matt's neck to indicate his intent, Matt bends down to Ianto a little and their lips meet in a strong, aggressive kiss, it taking Ianto a little by surprise but he was enjoying it. As their pleasure grew, their tongues in each others mouths, Matt pulls Ianto to him, closing the little distance that was between them. Both men were now aroused, they could both feel it against each other. Ianto slides his hand down from Matt's back and puts it on Matt's butt, squeezing it as the intensity of their kiss grew.

Matt soon returned the favour, grabbing and squeezing Ianto's butt with both hands and Ianto couldn't help it, he couldn't hold it in anymore and a moan escaped from Ianto's mouth into Matt's. Ianto was so aroused now, it was starting to hurt him but in a pleasurable way. Matt could sense that Ianto was extremely aroused as he was so he takes Ianto's hand from around his neck, breaking their kiss and Matt leads Ianto off of the dance floor.

Ianto didn't have much choice but to follow Matt, his grip tight around Ianto's hand but he wasn't complaining. They ended up in the toilets of the club and in the far cubicle, the disabled cubical. Matt pulls Ianto in and slams the door shut and locking the door behind them and then pulling Ianto into another hard kiss. Ianto could feel Matt's hands on his waist, one drifting lower down his leg and then across to his groin and onto his erection.

As Matt starts to rub against him, Ianto moans out, mostly into Matt's mouth. Ianto couldn't control himself anymore and starts to fumble for Matt's belt, eventually unbuckling it and then diving in for the button and the zip, undoing them too, pulling the two sides apart. Ianto slides his hand into Matt trousers and finds that Matt is largely aroused too. Ianto slides his hand inside Matt's boxer shorts and takes hold of him firmly, stroking him. Matt moans out at Ianto's touch and then does the same to Ianto. Ianto was getting more and more turned on as they stroked each other.

"I don't to be……you know," Ianto tells him shyly knowing that only Jack had ever done that to him.

"It's ok. Hands on it is then," Matt tells Ianto with a smile.

They both spend the next 20 minutes with each other, stroking each other and then came the release, Matt first but quickly followed by Ianto. They cleaned themselves up and get themselves together. Matt opens the door and then turns to Ianto and smiles at him.

"Whoever this Jack is, you need to tell him how you feel about him. No one night stand, no matter how good it is, is going to make up for someone you truly like or even love. Tell him how you feel and maybe, you can work it out," Matt tells Ianto who is very confused and how did he know about Jack and Matt senses the confusion.

"You called me Jack while we were in there. I hope everything works out and if I doesn't, I will keep an eye out for you. Your cute and it would be a waste to let you go," Matt tells him and he walks away.

"I called him Jack. He reminded me of Jack. He looked like Jack. I am gay and it's Jack that I want," Ianto thought to himself as he washed his hands and he looked in the mirror.

"I want Jack," he tells himself in the mirror and then splashes his face with cold water.

"I want Jack," Ianto then says out loud, the realisation so strong.

He had to be with Jack. Jack was his life, Jack is all he needed but he wanted Jack for life, not just when the fancy took Jack. He needed to see Jack, tonight. Ianto left the toilets and then the nightclub and as he stepped outside, he felt the rain on him, warm rain drops falling from the heavens above. Ianto didn't care and he wasn't bothered about getting wet, he just had to get to the hub, to Jack.

Ianto hurried through the streets of Cardiff, slipping through traffic, dodging the human traffic, going form pub to pub, club to club. All Ianto could think about was Jack, what he was going to say to Jack and how he would apologise for cheating on Jack not half an hour ago. The Hub soon came into view and then Ianto was on autopilot, knowing exactly where to go and soon enough, he was walking through the cog door of the main hub.

Jack jumped up out of his chair, wondering who the hell was coming in as no-one was due in. He rushes to the door and sees a soaking wet through Ianto stood by the workstations.

"Ianto, what are you doing here?" Jack asks him confused but happy to see him either way.

"Jack," Ianto simply replies.


	51. Chapter 51

WARNING: Some swearing towards the end of the chapter.

Time For The Truth.

"Ianto. Why are you here? Why are you soaking?" Jack asks him as they come together by Owens desk.

"I really needed to see you Jack, tell you something," Ianto tells him, looking into his eyes, rain dripping from his hair.

"Ok but it can wait until we get you dry," Jack tells him, taking his arm and leading him into the office and sitting him in the chair.

"No Jack. Now! I don't care if I'm wet. If I don't say these things now, I never will," Ianto tells him and Jack crouches down next to the chair and looks up at Ianto.

"You are scaring me now Ianto. What is it?" Jack asks him and Ianto's eyes fill with tears.

"I just had a one night stand kind of thing with a guy and I liked it," Ianto starts and then Jack butts in.

"So your going to say that we are over then?" Jack asks and Ianto frowns at him.

"No Jack. If you would shut up a minute and let me finish," Ianto tells him and Jack looks at him in shock that Ianto had ordered him to shut up.

"I had to find out if I was gay or not and yes, I am gay. You aren't going to like this but the guy I pulled looked like you. Out of all the guys in the place, I found the one that looked most like you Jack. We never went all the way, I wouldn't let him and he didn't mind that I didn't want that. He told me after that I called out your name and told me I needed to talk to you and I agree. That's why I am here, soaking wet, sat in your office," Ianto starts.

"Oh. Um…..I really don't know what to say to you being with another man," Jack tells him getting up walking around the office, his heart was breaking at the thought.

"Your missing the point Jack. I finally admit that I am guy and that it isn't just you that brings out feeling in me but you are the one I love is you Jack. I love you, I want you, I want to be with you," Ianto tells him as he gets out of the chair and walks over to Jack, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"I love you too Ianto, more than I thought I could," Jack tells him putting his hand on Ianto's.

"Jack. I don't want us to go back to the way we were before. I want more. I want more than just the odd show of affection or the odd bunk up Jack. I want the really thing. I want to be your partner, your companion," Ianto tells him and Jack turns around.

"You mean you want marriage, kids, the house, the family?" Jack asks him looking deep into Ianto's eyes.

"Marriage, maybe one day. Let's not run before we can walk Jack. Once we are truly comfortable and happy, we can see where we go from there but I don't want our relationship to be some office gossip, something to be laughed at. I want us to be open and tell people we are together, a gay couple," Ianto tells him.

Jack sighs looking away from Ianto a second and seeing this, Ianto pulls away from Jack.

"You don't want that do you?" Ianto asks him, a deep frown across his forehead.

"I do Ianto. I want us to be a proper couple, out and proud so to speak but…..," and Jack trails off.

"But what Jack?" Ianto asks him coming back to him and putting his hand on the side of Jack's face.

"People might try and use our relationship against us, against you. Our relationship has put you in danger once before and it nearly got you killed," Jack tells him.

"I'm still here Jack. Yes, I got lost on my way back but I am here now. If we are strong together, no-one can split us up," Ianto tells him and a tear falls from Jack's eye which was rare for Jack.

"Don't cry. You'll spoil your dashing good looks," Ianto smiles and wipes the tear away.

"I just don't want you to get hurt because of me," Jack tells him and Ianto pulls Jack to him, putting Jack's head on his shoulder.

"Nothing will happen to me and nothing will happen to you. Don't let fear ruin things. I let fear get in the way and we lost each other, I won't let that happen Jack. Do you love me?" Ianto asks him, his head still resting his head on his shoulder.

"You know I love you Ianto," Jack replies.

"Do you love me enough to be an actual couple?" Ianto asks and Jack lifts his head.

"I love you more than enough to be an actual couple," Jack tell him, sliding his arms around Ianto's wet waist.

"Then why are we messing about? We both love each other, want to be with each other so why aren't we? Fear?" Ianto asks him, stroking the side of his face.

"When did you become so wise Ianto Jones?" Jack asks him, straightening out his wet hair.

"I went to hell and came back, a little wiser I hope," Ianto tells him with a smile.

"I am so glad you came back Yan. I have really missed you," Jack tells him, running his thumb across Ianto's bottom lip.

"I am back Jack. Do you forgive me and are we giving it a proper go?" Ianto tells Jack, gazing longingly into Jack's eyes.

"Forgive you for what Yan?" Jack asks a little confused.

"About what I did tonight," Ianto tells him not actually saying what he did.

"It brought you back to me so there is nothing to forgive. I think that we should give it more than a good go and inside work as well as out of work hours. You are my partner now and I will treat you as such, though if I step out of line, please remind me. I will always flirt with people but know that you have my heart Ianto. I love you and I'm not going to let you go again," Jack tells Ianto, pulling him close to him, both his arms around Ianto's waist now.

"I love you too Jack and I'm not going to let anyone get between us again," Ianto tells him and gently kiss Jack who responds without hesitation.

Jack pulls away from Ianto's kiss and looks him up and down.

"I really think that we need to get you out of those wet clothes," Jack tells Ianto with a grin that could only mean one thing and for once, Ianto wasn't complaining.

**************************************

After spending the whole night making gently and sensual love to each other, they both wake up in the morning after only an hours sleep, in each others arms.

"That was an amazing night. I never knew you could do that to me Yan," Jack tells him as a naked Ianto gets out of bed and turns back to Jack.

"I didn't know I could do that either but it was great anyway. Will have to keep that one in mind for another day," Ianto smiles at Jack and then turns to his slightly damp clothes.

"You are a tease at heart Ianto Jones. Where are you going?" Jack asks him as Ianto picks up his clothes.

"I need to get home to get showered and get changed," Ianto tells Jack, finding all his clothes and gathering them up.

"Have a shower here and wear some of my things. They shouldn't be too big for you. Come back to bed," Jack tells him with his well practiced puppy dog eyes, pout and patting the bed next to him.

"Just this once Jack. That pout and puppy dog eyes won't work forever you know," Ianto tells him putting his clothes down, walking back over to the bed and crawling along it Jack.

*************************

A few hours later, Ianto was up, showered, dressed and going about his duties as the team walked in. They all notice something different about Ianto as he comes over with the coffee's like he usually did.

"Nice look for you Ianto. Less MI5 and more you," Gwen tells him with a smile as she takes her coffee off of the tray.

"I don't want to know," Owen tells Ianto, images running through his head as to why Ianto was wearing Jack's clothes as he takes his cup.

Toshiko didn't need to say anything, she just smiled at Ianto and he smiled back as she took her cup. She wasn't a woman of many words. As Ianto turned to take Jack his coffee, he sees Jack stood at the office door. Ianto takes him his coffee and Jack smiles at him and Ianto knows what Jack is about to do and he blushes a little. Jack smiles at him and then takes a sip of hot milky coffee.

"I have a little announcement to make. Ianto and I have finally stopped beating around the bush and have finally come to a decision. From the early hours of this morning, Ianto and I are a couple. This means a proper couple so during work as well as out of work hours. Ianto will not get special treatment and will bollucked like the rest of you do when you screw up. We have spent too long pussy footing around the issue and I almost lost him and I'm not going to let that happen again so from now on, it's Jack and Ianto the couple," Jack announces the to the rest of the team, Ianto how blushing even more.

"About bloody time. We thought it would never happen." Owen tells them both in his usual "I'm really not bothered" attitude but secretly, he was happy for them both and everyone knew it.

"Good luck to you both. You really deserve it," Gwen tells them and kisses them both on the cheek, Ianto's being warm now.

"You both know what I think," Toshiko tells them, beaming from ear to ear.

The team goes back to what they were meant to be doing and Jack and Ianto turned to each other.

"I love you Ianto Jones," Jack says to which Ianto replies, "I love you too Jack Harkness," and they share a kiss.

**THE END?**

Or Is It?

Thank you to all readers and reviewers. I have enjoyed your comments and enjoyed writing this story, more than I thought I would. If you want to know what happens further down the line, I am starting a new story called "A Beautiful Strange," which is linked to this story and starts 2 months after this finishes. Maybe I will hear from you on that story. Thank you again to every. Angelwood.


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